thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..
Blog Anniversary
Happy 1st Year Anniversary to my blog! Woohoo!
Wow, cant believe it. I've been keeping at this for a year now, and still remain single cum bootilicious, more so if I may add. ;-)
But boy, do I feel older.
When I first started writing this blog, the main aim is to entertain my friend frm penang while I can continue doing my work in peace.
I dun think she's reading this blog nowadays, barely can see her online. Wonder how she's been.
So I guess in the long run, this blog has become a bit of a journal. Something for me to write smtg off me chest. But I still keep a lot of stuff inside. Guess one cant change one's stripe much no matter how hard they try.
As I passed the rental to the current house owner yesternite, he asked me if the extra room in my house was rented out yet. Truthfully saying, I dun know. My sis takes care of such stuff.
So I asked her bf (he was with me at the time we paid the rental) if we r planning to keep the room or smtg.
He mentioned that we r going to move out of the house after his parents come to live in kl.
So this morn I asked me sis if it's true. That we r moving out of the house.
She said mostly will be living at her bf's house when his parents come over.
Hmm..
So my thing is, does that include me or not.
Most of the time, me n my sis are not that enthusiastic in speaking to one another.
I always blame her for being bias when she's living w the bf, she's always defensive and rarely talk to me then.
But boy, if I'd known I'd be the only person forking out cash to buy my own roof, I'd hav diligently working my arse off saving as soon as I stepped into working life laa..now all I can do is hav a mental knockout at some invisible wall at my naivety. *ARGH! *sigh..we plan, but God execute. And I can feel the pain all over at my seat rite now..*mock-self-stabbing.
I guess it's just a phase in life, when ur family members started to move out of the house to live w somebody else.
I always thought that might not happen to my sisters, the moving in w bf before marriage thing, but apparently I was wrong.
People can change, n I can see frm my sis that she's changed a lot when she's w her current bf.
At first, I never thought it might work out, cos he's too young and she's too fierce.
But 2 yrs passed, we r coming to their 3rd yr. And the parents are moving to kl. So I guess, she's gonna b married into the family la.
I think it's about time for me to relinquish my position as the third wheel.
It's time for me to look for a flat or smtg, smwhere where I can hav my privacy and all. Perhaps I can take up tuitoring again, just to fill up my time. Or take up that drawing lessons which I hav been thinking a lot about, but never got the chance to do so cos it takes up too much cash and time, which both I need for a roof where I intend to get in a few yrs time. I can always ask my parents to help wthe deposit first, but I guess, I wanna try to see if I can make it on my own. Stubborn? u bet.
Or maybe along the time, I'd change and start to move in w somebody, who is not a gal, if u catch my drift. Yea rite..mayb not for now.
Would I change like my sis?
Hmm..very disturbing thoughts. It's a compromise for me, cos I'm still not ready for a relationship. To add somebody into ur circle of trust (smtg I pick frm Meet the Parents) and anticipating when he's gonna betray u or the other way around..hoho..optimistic ol me again..nope. Too much at risk..mostly it's cos I'm not really innocent when it comes to the matter of heart, and mine's suffer enuf kicks around that the bruises hav yet to heal from previous ones..(read the multiple adjective used). Or mayb I was just careless to pass it to somebody who thinks it's farney to play opps-I-almost-drop-it game. My character antenae when it comes to this sort of stuff is soooo off the target. *sigh..
The odd part was, got one time I thought I was ready. Perhaps it's fate, or a compensation from all the times where I rejected all the previous advances, he wasnt ready. I was so ready to change, perhaps that's where I did wrong. I shuldnt compromise myself for another person, we shuld all attain our identity and learn to live in harmony w one another. Or, he can change to suit me..haha..age of equality, never fail to crack me up. :D
Relationship, what is a relationship.
For me it is a place where two ppl learn to live in peace with each other's differences. Learning to accept each other for wat's nots and all the nasty stuff that goes along with it..optimistic ol me again..hoho..
In my case, there's a glitch where I would still wanna attain both of our individuality. So in case it didnt work out, the breaking up part wun be too painful to live with.
Mayb I'm naive, cos when u like somebody, u tend to change to suit them. To make things easier. I know, I know..*sigh..Or mayb I'm pessimistic enuf to think that all my relationships will not live past the first base..haha..
What I cant stand really is the sticky part..I hate sticky emo stuff. Especially when I'm bored to death with routine and will kill him off w routine as well. Cos we cant be fun 24 hrs straight, there are 80% in a day where we r more defensive than Martha Stewart and pessimistic that all the living things around us can feel the vibe and avoid the perimeter where we stand, 5-10 feet apart. Plants feel the vibe faster than anything, cos they dun hav feet to run and they can die due to maltreatment.
Or mayb I just dun wanna be responsible to make other ppl happy all the time. Or unhappy God forbid.
I guess that's it, I know I can be quite wonderful as an engaging partner, hell, everybody can. It's just a matter of who we r with.
All my friends are getting hitched at the moment, mayb it's the singlehood of knowing most of ur friends are attached that makes one feel..how to put it..separated.
But I've been in worse condition, yet I've never thought of being in a relationship (the compromise thing)..I'm always better off alone.
Mayb looking at my sis, it just changes the way I look at things.
Cos after she moves out, who's goin to cook for me??!?
PS : Sonny boy is fine. Slimmer with his hair chopped off, but fine.
Wow, cant believe it. I've been keeping at this for a year now, and still remain single cum bootilicious, more so if I may add. ;-)
But boy, do I feel older.
When I first started writing this blog, the main aim is to entertain my friend frm penang while I can continue doing my work in peace.
I dun think she's reading this blog nowadays, barely can see her online. Wonder how she's been.
So I guess in the long run, this blog has become a bit of a journal. Something for me to write smtg off me chest. But I still keep a lot of stuff inside. Guess one cant change one's stripe much no matter how hard they try.
As I passed the rental to the current house owner yesternite, he asked me if the extra room in my house was rented out yet. Truthfully saying, I dun know. My sis takes care of such stuff.
So I asked her bf (he was with me at the time we paid the rental) if we r planning to keep the room or smtg.
He mentioned that we r going to move out of the house after his parents come to live in kl.
So this morn I asked me sis if it's true. That we r moving out of the house.
She said mostly will be living at her bf's house when his parents come over.
Hmm..
So my thing is, does that include me or not.
Most of the time, me n my sis are not that enthusiastic in speaking to one another.
I always blame her for being bias when she's living w the bf, she's always defensive and rarely talk to me then.
But boy, if I'd known I'd be the only person forking out cash to buy my own roof, I'd hav diligently working my arse off saving as soon as I stepped into working life laa..now all I can do is hav a mental knockout at some invisible wall at my naivety. *ARGH! *sigh..we plan, but God execute. And I can feel the pain all over at my seat rite now..*mock-self-stabbing.
I guess it's just a phase in life, when ur family members started to move out of the house to live w somebody else.
I always thought that might not happen to my sisters, the moving in w bf before marriage thing, but apparently I was wrong.
People can change, n I can see frm my sis that she's changed a lot when she's w her current bf.
At first, I never thought it might work out, cos he's too young and she's too fierce.
But 2 yrs passed, we r coming to their 3rd yr. And the parents are moving to kl. So I guess, she's gonna b married into the family la.
I think it's about time for me to relinquish my position as the third wheel.
It's time for me to look for a flat or smtg, smwhere where I can hav my privacy and all. Perhaps I can take up tuitoring again, just to fill up my time. Or take up that drawing lessons which I hav been thinking a lot about, but never got the chance to do so cos it takes up too much cash and time, which both I need for a roof where I intend to get in a few yrs time. I can always ask my parents to help wthe deposit first, but I guess, I wanna try to see if I can make it on my own. Stubborn? u bet.
Or maybe along the time, I'd change and start to move in w somebody, who is not a gal, if u catch my drift. Yea rite..mayb not for now.
Would I change like my sis?
Hmm..very disturbing thoughts. It's a compromise for me, cos I'm still not ready for a relationship. To add somebody into ur circle of trust (smtg I pick frm Meet the Parents) and anticipating when he's gonna betray u or the other way around..hoho..optimistic ol me again..nope. Too much at risk..mostly it's cos I'm not really innocent when it comes to the matter of heart, and mine's suffer enuf kicks around that the bruises hav yet to heal from previous ones..(read the multiple adjective used). Or mayb I was just careless to pass it to somebody who thinks it's farney to play opps-I-almost-drop-it game. My character antenae when it comes to this sort of stuff is soooo off the target. *sigh..
The odd part was, got one time I thought I was ready. Perhaps it's fate, or a compensation from all the times where I rejected all the previous advances, he wasnt ready. I was so ready to change, perhaps that's where I did wrong. I shuldnt compromise myself for another person, we shuld all attain our identity and learn to live in harmony w one another. Or, he can change to suit me..haha..age of equality, never fail to crack me up. :D
Relationship, what is a relationship.
For me it is a place where two ppl learn to live in peace with each other's differences. Learning to accept each other for wat's nots and all the nasty stuff that goes along with it..optimistic ol me again..hoho..
In my case, there's a glitch where I would still wanna attain both of our individuality. So in case it didnt work out, the breaking up part wun be too painful to live with.
Mayb I'm naive, cos when u like somebody, u tend to change to suit them. To make things easier. I know, I know..*sigh..Or mayb I'm pessimistic enuf to think that all my relationships will not live past the first base..haha..
What I cant stand really is the sticky part..I hate sticky emo stuff. Especially when I'm bored to death with routine and will kill him off w routine as well. Cos we cant be fun 24 hrs straight, there are 80% in a day where we r more defensive than Martha Stewart and pessimistic that all the living things around us can feel the vibe and avoid the perimeter where we stand, 5-10 feet apart. Plants feel the vibe faster than anything, cos they dun hav feet to run and they can die due to maltreatment.
Or mayb I just dun wanna be responsible to make other ppl happy all the time. Or unhappy God forbid.
I guess that's it, I know I can be quite wonderful as an engaging partner, hell, everybody can. It's just a matter of who we r with.
All my friends are getting hitched at the moment, mayb it's the singlehood of knowing most of ur friends are attached that makes one feel..how to put it..separated.
But I've been in worse condition, yet I've never thought of being in a relationship (the compromise thing)..I'm always better off alone.
Mayb looking at my sis, it just changes the way I look at things.
Cos after she moves out, who's goin to cook for me??!?
PS : Sonny boy is fine. Slimmer with his hair chopped off, but fine.
Labels: Anniversary
posted by M.E. # 9:51 AM
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