thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..
My Doppelgangers
Everybody has two sides or more of themselves nestled within them, Beyonce has Sasha, I hav my doppelganger.
My doppelganger is made of two to three different personalities which are very distinctly marked, but living in harmony with one another thru conscious effort and daily battling.
Doppelganger no 1 is a filial daughter who thinks she can do anything, and she has to do it cos she's the eldest and that there's no other ppl who can help her but herself cos there's no sons in the family and she can count on nobody but herself. So most of the time, she's proud of who she is, trying to make the best out of her life and try to be the very best there is for herself, her parents and her sister. But she always fails when she tries to take everybody into considerations. She's learning to be selfish now.
Doppelganger no 2 is a reckless gal who lives her life on the edge, thinking bout how to bring an edge to her that makes her more prominent that her peer, thinking that since she's got nothing, therefore she can risk everything, anything. She lives her life on the impulse of everyday, thinking that each day is a new day, a new start, a new venture and that every solutions or decisions can denote a different outcome cos life is after all a gamble, why not risk it for a learning of self and improvement. Nothing is too much for her, cos if she lost everything, then she has nothing, so she can start all over again. She's learning to take calculated risk.
Doppelganger no 3 is a fearful gal who thinks too much about her next steps, and anticipating the ground where she walks on will fall anytime. She lives her life on egg shells, knowing no matter how well the day begin, it will only takes time before all tumble beneath a heap. She's learning to be brave.
Doppelganger no 4 is a curious lil gal who never grows up. She's the one I've been trying to preserve all these while. When I thought I've lost her long time ago, I found her again in times of needs. She's the reason why I can be hopeful and naive at the same time, and never lost the curiosity in life. I want her by my side till the end of my life. She's always there, just never revealed. And she soothes me everytime when I feel exhausted with the world.
I juggle between my doppelgangers everyday, fighting my inner demons every day as I try to live my life the way I want it to be lived.
Which is why I think I live in a very infernal phase of life, every decision tugs at me and each of my personalities trying to get better of me. It's not ez being me. *sigh..I wish I can use the excuse, "I was extinguishing my inner demons" whenever my friends ask me why I was late for yamcha session.
I hav a very clear cut definitions of how I want my life led, I just dun wanna compromise my beliefs for smtg tat I can gain in the long run. I might win the battles with the inner demons within me, but to lose the war..tat's the essence I'm trying to save.
The essence must be contained. Else all is lost.
My doppelganger is made of two to three different personalities which are very distinctly marked, but living in harmony with one another thru conscious effort and daily battling.
Doppelganger no 1 is a filial daughter who thinks she can do anything, and she has to do it cos she's the eldest and that there's no other ppl who can help her but herself cos there's no sons in the family and she can count on nobody but herself. So most of the time, she's proud of who she is, trying to make the best out of her life and try to be the very best there is for herself, her parents and her sister. But she always fails when she tries to take everybody into considerations. She's learning to be selfish now.
Doppelganger no 2 is a reckless gal who lives her life on the edge, thinking bout how to bring an edge to her that makes her more prominent that her peer, thinking that since she's got nothing, therefore she can risk everything, anything. She lives her life on the impulse of everyday, thinking that each day is a new day, a new start, a new venture and that every solutions or decisions can denote a different outcome cos life is after all a gamble, why not risk it for a learning of self and improvement. Nothing is too much for her, cos if she lost everything, then she has nothing, so she can start all over again. She's learning to take calculated risk.
Doppelganger no 3 is a fearful gal who thinks too much about her next steps, and anticipating the ground where she walks on will fall anytime. She lives her life on egg shells, knowing no matter how well the day begin, it will only takes time before all tumble beneath a heap. She's learning to be brave.
Doppelganger no 4 is a curious lil gal who never grows up. She's the one I've been trying to preserve all these while. When I thought I've lost her long time ago, I found her again in times of needs. She's the reason why I can be hopeful and naive at the same time, and never lost the curiosity in life. I want her by my side till the end of my life. She's always there, just never revealed. And she soothes me everytime when I feel exhausted with the world.
I juggle between my doppelgangers everyday, fighting my inner demons every day as I try to live my life the way I want it to be lived.
Which is why I think I live in a very infernal phase of life, every decision tugs at me and each of my personalities trying to get better of me. It's not ez being me. *sigh..I wish I can use the excuse, "I was extinguishing my inner demons" whenever my friends ask me why I was late for yamcha session.
I hav a very clear cut definitions of how I want my life led, I just dun wanna compromise my beliefs for smtg tat I can gain in the long run. I might win the battles with the inner demons within me, but to lose the war..tat's the essence I'm trying to save.
The essence must be contained. Else all is lost.
Labels: Dilemmas
posted by M.E. # 10:10 AM
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