thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..

Making Sense Out Of Nonsense

"..the phone vibrated,
I jumped, he shook his head..
and took the phone from my lap,
placed it on his..
A smile was exchanged."

I hate being still, it's so mundane and set's my eyes a-frenzy before sending off my mind to sleep.

Thus I hav leg shaking syndrome; the only exercise my thighs getting till I got that pool privilege. Darn, cant wait to buy those bikini from the Curve's bazaar. Saw the red petal patterned, and the light blue, wonder if they got aquamarine or turquoise. Cost rm80 per set. Lately I've filled up the jeans, standing straight makes me look fat, standing sideways with attitude makes me look phat. I need to go on diet. *eyes-rolling..

Sis went back w mum to Kuching for some soul searching. She's mostly gonna stay there in the future as she's currently looking for master degree in maths and chemistry, hopefully she's able to get what she wants. She was really happy when she saw the new house though my mum moved in early this year, we dont go home that often, so left only Nat who havent seen it. B loves stability of a home, so she's the type who needs to stay close to home ground. I'm like a gypsy; nomadic,

Nat meanwhile is facing the storm in Singapore as she's going thru her nursing attachments, she'll be back Kuching next week. Hopefully she'll get some peace while she's back for the holiday.

Dd is battling SPM in a few months time, so far she's been pretty stable in all her subjects, 8-9 A's, failed the History though. She's gonna be just fine. Mum's aiming for her to study pharmacy, though she herself wanna do journalism. At this age, usually they are not sure of what they want out of life, they just kinda do what interest them at the moment without thinking of the distance. I just hope she'd be ok, as I fear she might end up being a nut for knowledge, like me, which is not necessary a good thing.

Bangkok under siege, darn, wanna go chatujak for some serious shopping spree. Postpone till further notice.

Had lunch w a friend last wednesday.

I discover this friend's a bit odd; weird is good, odd is not.

For one thing, when we chatted over lunch, he never makes eye contact, he's got those diverting eyes that never stops looking at other places but the conversationalist. Which irritates me as I find it hard to talk to somebody who seemed, how do I put it..fidgeting.

He's got those really piercing pair of eyes that I love to look at, too bad he's not the commiting type. Heck, he's the type gals usually hav as friends but not as bf as they'd never know when he's gonna cheat behind their backs. Yupe, another insecurity issue there. Darn, if he is the committing type, there's some tricks I sure wanna show him, hehe.. *kinky-thoughts..

So basically we just chatted bout happenings in our lives..wait, mostly I chatted bout happenings in my life. He'd shut up bout his. Yupe, mysterious eh? Charismatic ho? Secretive is more likely. I guess it's perhaps smtg to do with the city folks, they never really reveal much bout their lives as it's personal for them. I guess I will always kinda hav that country folk in me, naive a little, trusting a bit, but learning to hold it back..it's sad when one hav to give out only 50% outta their lives when they can go out all the way, for me, tat's the best part bout any relationships..honest simple conversation and companionships.

Mayb I'm just the type who loves talking bout something other than surface jokes, for me, to make a deep impression, one gotta show a little window into their soul. It's not really baring, cos we kinda grow with time, life and ppl we meet along the way, that the soul is like a chameleon of colors. Almost eurora-like. But heck, I'm being rose-tinted here.

Well, I guess knowing him for a few years now, it's got to a point where there's no growth, no deeper meaningful companionship behind it all. It's like looking at ceramic, u know? Sure, the shine once a while is fascinating to look at, but after a while, u cant see thru the veil behind it all, and slowly it becomes frustrating. *sigh..

There are times that he'd send off mixed signals, yes, I'm talking bout mix signals here. I've always hated mixed signals, similar to smoke signals, u cant really read what it's all about. So add on with that atop everything else, I'm really better off being alone. I cant change a person with issues, I can only change mine.

Anyway, been collecting glasses lately; bottles, jars, chipped glasses. Cos I wanna paint on it. I've always been fascinated with glasses and kitchen wares. When I was in my teen, I'd collect all those bottles and stack em up real high, then my mum would throw em out little by little without my knowledge as I wouldnt know wat to do with them just yet.

Like an artist with paper, that's wat glass is for me. Looking at a blank transparent glass, I can imagine all kinds of things I wanna do to it..it's so sensually arousing, all those potentials. And I mean that in an artistes point of view. I love art works; the details, the complexity of the work but the simplicity of it's meaning. Every work, gesture speaks of the artistes emotion at play, indescribable with words, only with hands and feelings as they lay it all out on their piece. Each piece has a story of it's own, a love/hate/pain tat intensifies as the person gets deeper and deeper into his/her own world.

Glass Hobby
Glass Sample

Which explains why I love DIY. Cos I just love the process of learning and innovating as I wasnt encumbered by standards, ways, methods nor rules. It's all mine, my preciousssss..

Last tuesday brought my mum and aunt shopping at Sogo, I brought a top which shows off a bit of cleavage, gorgeous.

And we spent the whole day just looking at the kitchen wares there.

I love to go Sogo to look at the imported cups and saucers, it's a weird hobby that I hav. I'd love to decorate my house with beautiful china.

I saw this wonderful glass plate with intricate flower pattern behind it on display. Wow..wish I can own that. It'd be a great table decorative item. And saw a set of white plates, bowls, cups and saucers which cost only rm38. I'll get it for my glass painting too.

Well, had so much fun, that we went home for a nice satisfied afternoon nap.

So, that's me on good days.

Labels: Thoughts

posted by M.E. # 10:05 AM

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Making Sense Out Of Nonsense

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