thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..

Paying for It

Last weekend, saturday actually, I got into an accident where my car spinned in the speed lane as other cars avoided me. I was avoiding a big puddle of water in the rain as I tried to overtake a car in front of me, lesson learnt; dun twist the wheel when ur car is goin into a big patch of water, more so if u feel ur car is lifting a bit.

First thought that went into my head was "Oh no, I need to claim insurance from Agnes".

Second thought was "Dear God, please dun let the glasses broke" cause it was raining.

Third thought was "Oh God, please dun let the engine be smashed to pieces."

All those thought invaded as my other thoughts emptied itself from my mind while the car was spinning as my hands gripped the wheel, hoping that God's listening to my signal in distress.

Then when it stopped, I checked my car engine to see if it was still running so I can drive it to the road side. When I did that, a guy who parked his car prior to the accident who undoubtedly saw the whole thing ran to my car and knocked on the glasses, before gesturing the thumb's up sign to see if I was ok. I nodded at him, smsed my friend in swk to ask for insurance claiming procedure, then called up my friend to say I wun be coming for dinner.

All those happening was reflex actually, cause I was still in shock, and my hands were actually numbed while my brain emptied it's last thought. I think I sat for a good 5 minutes before uttering "Oh God" in my mind.

I remembered I was really calm while the whole event played in my mind over and over again, especially when my back bumper knocked onto the divider.

It was a lonely time as my sis was outta town, and I dun wanna worry her too much.

I knew if I turned back, I'm just gonna pity myself when I reached home.

So I went straight with my initial plan and had a dinner w friends and throw in a movie till 3 am. I know, I'm nuts.

My friends made pathetic attempt at comforting me, one was telling me the story on how he got into an accident with a car with him on a bicycle and after the incident, cycled himself with the mangled tyre straight back home (I dun know how's that gonna comfort me), another was telling me to feel grateful to higher powers as it culd've been worse (as if that's comforting).

It was a numbing nite as I put away my feeling till it was time to drive again. Then I broke down a lil on the way back home as I washed away the fear, but feeling proud that I've not lost it by the time I reached home.

The incident reminded me of the many times I've been alone as I faced my fear, I guess human spirit can be pretty stable under certain circumstance.

I remembered the auto-pilot me as my mind blanked itself but the responses keep coming in; keep calm, called whoever needed to be called, check for damages, look at surroundings, make a mental note of what to do next whether go home or go to the next authority, drive, not telling my mum.

Ok, the last part was due to fear from being scolded and nagged by my mum, guess teen reflexes still survives after these long years. Plus worrying them is unnecessary, seeing they cant do much from 300, 000 km away and that I'd still need to drive myself home. Either that or cry-and-crawl.

Now when I drive, I'm still feeling flaky. My coll who brought me to check on my car actually was the first person who made me feel comforted (not so flaky) after the whole incident.

All he did was mentioned, "If your car broke down anywhere in the future, just give me a call. No matter what time or place."

I'm grateful for that, though I know I wouldnt call him (the gf wouldnt appreaciate it) but it was really comforting.

Guess sometimes, it takes a stranger for a hug in the dark.

"No More." - ngy

Labels: Lesson

posted by M.E. # 11:26 AM

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thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..

Paying for It

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