thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..
Walking Dead
My sis is killing me softly with her cooking.
Lately she's not in the dabao mood, and I'm so tired of stopping half way to buy dinner, so hook or crook gotta eat her cooking.
Lately also she loves cooking mild stuff, like virgin-olive-oil-covered-pasta, which I had a hard time swallowing for 2 days. My stomach still churning complains from it's last torture.
Tonite she wanna cook porridge, accompanied w white sugar.
For the love of pete!!!
Please remember the (hot-blooded-meat-eating-gorgeous-female) living!!
Lately she's not in the dabao mood, and I'm so tired of stopping half way to buy dinner, so hook or crook gotta eat her cooking.
Lately also she loves cooking mild stuff, like virgin-olive-oil-covered-pasta, which I had a hard time swallowing for 2 days. My stomach still churning complains from it's last torture.
Tonite she wanna cook porridge, accompanied w white sugar.
For the love of pete!!!
Please remember the (hot-blooded-meat-eating-gorgeous-female) living!!
Labels: Pain
posted by M.E. # 6:09 PM 0 Comments
Fire
Ambition: Why Some People Are Most Likely To Succeed
My sis posted this up on her blog.
Read it and filed it.
Now that the demons awaken in my mind, pardon me as there are some things I have to do.
My sis posted this up on her blog.
Read it and filed it.
Now that the demons awaken in my mind, pardon me as there are some things I have to do.
Labels: Inspiration, Motivation
posted by M.E. # 1:38 PM 0 Comments
Illegally Yours
"Who would have thought
That you could hurt me
The way you've done it?
So deliberate, so determined
And since you have been gone
I bite my nails for days and hours
And question my own questions on and on
So tell me now, tell me now
Why you're so far away
When I'm still so close
You don't even know the meaning of the words “I'm sorry”
You said you would love me until you die
And as far as I know you're still alive, baby
You don't even know the meaning of the words “I'm sorry”
I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart
I tried so hard to be attentive
Do all you wanted
Always supportive, always patient
What did I do wrong?
I'm wondering for days and hours
It's here, it isn't here where you belong
Anyhow, anyhow
I wish you both all the best
I hope you get along
Open heart
Open heart
It should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart"
- by Shakira feat Santana
"Poignance is thy name, Pain is thy game." - me
Labels: Lyrical, Pain, Poignance
posted by M.E. # 8:09 PM 0 Comments
Ode To Men
Plagiarised from smwhere :
"Found this on Cra1gsl1st and thought it was cute.
I love men for their strength. Sometimes it is that vein that bulges on the upper part of their foremarm. Sometimes it is the way they heft a tire out of the trunk – something I can never do without making it a major production. Sometimes, it is the way the tense their jaw and remain silent when their wife or girlfriend or mother is nagging and acting bitchy and close-to-hysterical, for no real reason (and never asking “Is it your time of the month?” even when they know it is). Always, it is the way that they get up and pad through the darkened house to see what that noise was, or stand in front of their girl when scary tough guys are approaching too fast or talking too loud and crude.
I love men for the way they give up everything but themselves for love (hanging onto their self is a form of their strength). How they worry during the day, is the guy driving her to that meeting a safe driver? Will she wear her seatbelt? How they stop me from crossing into traffic with a reflexive forearm. How they smile at me, eyes so bright, when I talk about some big success I had. How they get turned on when I win. How they try to think of ways to make their women more successful, and watch proudly from the sidelines. How they will stare, openly and with unabashed admiration, at a woman they admire and want to know better. How being in love makes them want to be better men. How they will willingly make a fool of themselves to get the ‘right’ girl to notice. How they kick themselves when they pass up the opportunity to make a fool of themselves, and the girl disappears. How they will pick up the phone, or walk over in a bar, and say something, anything - - knowing they might be rejected by the girl they are interested in but taking the risk anyway. How they hate to see a girl cry, no matter what.
I love men for the way they throw their all into sex – body and soul. How they get so much pleasure from giving a woman pleasure. How they don’t wonder if they look fat or ugly when they are naked. How they like to have sex with the lights on. How they can make any woman feel desirable and beautiful, if only she will stop judging herself and let him. How they like to look right into a woman’s eyes while making love. How pleading and slightly abashed they are before knowing they will get sex. Their single minded purpose in getting me to say yes, because of their confidence in the pleasure to be had. Their ability to focus on the pleasure alone, for it’s own worthy sake. How they fall in love a little bit every time they have sex. How they are so happy after sex, their defenses down, their outlook positive.
I love men for their beautiful bodies – they way the hair can grow thick on their arms. Their broad shoulders, and their tapering waists. Their rough palms, their broad fingernails, the way their hands can look both elegant and capable. Their cute butts –just like when they are babies, sometimes with downy fuzz. Their big masculine feet. Their comfortableness with being naked. Their unself-consciousness about the size of their penis. How noncommittal they are about their testicles – an endless source of masculine mystery to a woman. Their pretty eyelashes and seductive eyes. The way they hardly ever look into the mirror - even the most beautiful ones. The way they walk. Their ease with their bodies. Their optimism about their physical gifts, their refusal to brood on their less-than-perfect physical traits. Their smiling acceptance of their flaws, confident that they can overcome them with their better points.
I love to watch men eat. They never say, “this is too rich,” or “I really shouldn’t” or “this is going straight to my thigh”, even if all of these things might accurately describe the food and/or it’s effects. They just eat.
I love the way men give all of their attention to the things they are interested in. The way they can focus utterly on televised sport, driving the girlfriends and wives insane with their perfect indifference to their feminine companions (the game will soon be over and she’ll still be here, right? why miss the game?). The way they are puzzled that their girlfriends and wives can think attention to baseball or football or soccer takes anything away from their love of a woman. The way they can work hard and play hard. The way they refuse to be martyrs for their jobs. The way they channel surf for sports scores.
Most of all I love the way men love women. The way they indulge women’s endless obsession with ‘imperfections’ and often love the object of the woman’s insecurity and disdain – a large butt, a bit of a tummy, soft thighs. How they can generously see something attractive in almost any woman. How their attention is so often more directed to the woman than to themselves. How they eroticize the humble and bizarre – the arch of the foot, the space behind the knee, the collarbone, the muscles of the lower back. How very much they appreciate it when a pretty girl smiles at them. How they admire intelligence and strength and beauty and independence in a woman – the whole package. But how they can also love vulnerability and insecurity in that same woman. How they can let bygones be bygones – and really not need to ‘talk it out’, not because he’s uncommunicative but because he won’t hold minor things against the girl or the relationship. He just won’t. How he will ‘talk it out’ if she insists, even though he’s forgiven her and knows that he deserves to be forgiven, because it makes her feel better. How he will make sure the oil is changed and the smog inspection is up to date, because she never thinks to do it. How he will admire her in sexy expensive shoes and a great leather skirt but also admire her barefoot in a white tank top and jeans. How he likes women without makeup. How he likes women who are wearing too much makeup. How he can look at me speculatively in the check out line in the grocery store even when I’m wearing baggy sweat pants and flip flops. How he doesn’t weigh himself more than once every three months or so and always guesses that woman weighs about 15 lbs less than she actually does. How he loves the things we can’t take credit for - breasts, the curve from bust to hip, hips."
"Found this on Cra1gsl1st and thought it was cute.
I love men for their strength. Sometimes it is that vein that bulges on the upper part of their foremarm. Sometimes it is the way they heft a tire out of the trunk – something I can never do without making it a major production. Sometimes, it is the way the tense their jaw and remain silent when their wife or girlfriend or mother is nagging and acting bitchy and close-to-hysterical, for no real reason (and never asking “Is it your time of the month?” even when they know it is). Always, it is the way that they get up and pad through the darkened house to see what that noise was, or stand in front of their girl when scary tough guys are approaching too fast or talking too loud and crude.
I love men for the way they give up everything but themselves for love (hanging onto their self is a form of their strength). How they worry during the day, is the guy driving her to that meeting a safe driver? Will she wear her seatbelt? How they stop me from crossing into traffic with a reflexive forearm. How they smile at me, eyes so bright, when I talk about some big success I had. How they get turned on when I win. How they try to think of ways to make their women more successful, and watch proudly from the sidelines. How they will stare, openly and with unabashed admiration, at a woman they admire and want to know better. How being in love makes them want to be better men. How they will willingly make a fool of themselves to get the ‘right’ girl to notice. How they kick themselves when they pass up the opportunity to make a fool of themselves, and the girl disappears. How they will pick up the phone, or walk over in a bar, and say something, anything - - knowing they might be rejected by the girl they are interested in but taking the risk anyway. How they hate to see a girl cry, no matter what.
I love men for the way they throw their all into sex – body and soul. How they get so much pleasure from giving a woman pleasure. How they don’t wonder if they look fat or ugly when they are naked. How they like to have sex with the lights on. How they can make any woman feel desirable and beautiful, if only she will stop judging herself and let him. How they like to look right into a woman’s eyes while making love. How pleading and slightly abashed they are before knowing they will get sex. Their single minded purpose in getting me to say yes, because of their confidence in the pleasure to be had. Their ability to focus on the pleasure alone, for it’s own worthy sake. How they fall in love a little bit every time they have sex. How they are so happy after sex, their defenses down, their outlook positive.
I love men for their beautiful bodies – they way the hair can grow thick on their arms. Their broad shoulders, and their tapering waists. Their rough palms, their broad fingernails, the way their hands can look both elegant and capable. Their cute butts –just like when they are babies, sometimes with downy fuzz. Their big masculine feet. Their comfortableness with being naked. Their unself-consciousness about the size of their penis. How noncommittal they are about their testicles – an endless source of masculine mystery to a woman. Their pretty eyelashes and seductive eyes. The way they hardly ever look into the mirror - even the most beautiful ones. The way they walk. Their ease with their bodies. Their optimism about their physical gifts, their refusal to brood on their less-than-perfect physical traits. Their smiling acceptance of their flaws, confident that they can overcome them with their better points.
I love to watch men eat. They never say, “this is too rich,” or “I really shouldn’t” or “this is going straight to my thigh”, even if all of these things might accurately describe the food and/or it’s effects. They just eat.
I love the way men give all of their attention to the things they are interested in. The way they can focus utterly on televised sport, driving the girlfriends and wives insane with their perfect indifference to their feminine companions (the game will soon be over and she’ll still be here, right? why miss the game?). The way they are puzzled that their girlfriends and wives can think attention to baseball or football or soccer takes anything away from their love of a woman. The way they can work hard and play hard. The way they refuse to be martyrs for their jobs. The way they channel surf for sports scores.
Most of all I love the way men love women. The way they indulge women’s endless obsession with ‘imperfections’ and often love the object of the woman’s insecurity and disdain – a large butt, a bit of a tummy, soft thighs. How they can generously see something attractive in almost any woman. How their attention is so often more directed to the woman than to themselves. How they eroticize the humble and bizarre – the arch of the foot, the space behind the knee, the collarbone, the muscles of the lower back. How very much they appreciate it when a pretty girl smiles at them. How they admire intelligence and strength and beauty and independence in a woman – the whole package. But how they can also love vulnerability and insecurity in that same woman. How they can let bygones be bygones – and really not need to ‘talk it out’, not because he’s uncommunicative but because he won’t hold minor things against the girl or the relationship. He just won’t. How he will ‘talk it out’ if she insists, even though he’s forgiven her and knows that he deserves to be forgiven, because it makes her feel better. How he will make sure the oil is changed and the smog inspection is up to date, because she never thinks to do it. How he will admire her in sexy expensive shoes and a great leather skirt but also admire her barefoot in a white tank top and jeans. How he likes women without makeup. How he likes women who are wearing too much makeup. How he can look at me speculatively in the check out line in the grocery store even when I’m wearing baggy sweat pants and flip flops. How he doesn’t weigh himself more than once every three months or so and always guesses that woman weighs about 15 lbs less than she actually does. How he loves the things we can’t take credit for - breasts, the curve from bust to hip, hips."
Labels: Knick-Knacks, Lesson, Myself, Thoughts
posted by M.E. # 8:02 PM 0 Comments
5 Parts
There's a part of a person that you're never going to realise it exist simply because.
There are people who seems righteous but ended up breaking up others,
There are those who project an image of purity but sleeps around;
There are those who are attached but cheats in the dark.
Then again, there are some who seems wild but she might just be grossly confused. Or that they aren't as strong as they seem.
Labels: Lesson, Self-Dissect
posted by M.E. # 8:01 PM 0 Comments
Hear Me Roar
I am strong. I am tempestuous.
I am the calm of Audrey Hepburn.
Before the storm of Charlie's Angel.
I may not be able to read maps sometimes.
But at least I can ask for directions.
I love shoes,one pair is never enough.
I can do everthing Fred Astaire did.
Backwards and in high heels.
I am woman, hear me roar"
- Advert from UOB credit card for women
Related Song : I Am Woman by Helen Reddy
Labels: Inspiration, Motivation
posted by M.E. # 8:00 PM 0 Comments
Simple Life
U know wat inspires me?
Movies.
Legally Blonde. The scene where Elle was trying to improve herself by catching up on her reading, working out and making sure her pet needs are taken cared of at the same time. Who got the time??
Save the Last Dance. The part where Sarah met Derek and they hit it off on the dancefloor, where he motivates her and believes in her. The part where he brought her to the rooftop, and asked her if she wanted to get into Julliard and be with her all the way. The part that shows him as a strong person of his own rights and stands, and while he's working towards his own goal, he made time for her goals as well. I love tat kind of men. So level headed.
Dance with Me. The part where Rafael just danced amongst his fellow mates. And those moments where Ruby looked at Rafael on the dance floor as Eres Todo En Mi or You're My Everything crooned on.
Replacement Players. The part where Shane was hit by a fellow teammate and the announcer mentioned "Don't do anything great if you can't handle the congratulations." and other firey quotes.
Final Fantasy : The Spirit Within. The part where Dr Aki still seek for the remaining spirit even though all the odds are against her and that her time is running out as a phantom resides in her.
Matrix. The interview with Keanu Reeves when he's asked bout playing Neo and he replied "Yeah. It's like, Can you live up to that? Can you live up to the best part of yourself every day? Which I think is a really great question. Can you live to the best part of yourself all the time? It's hard. I try but I think that that aspect is something the film is actually also asking."
All those movies and it's moments have been following me for years.
I'm gonna set a few milestones for me this year.
I need to learn how to sew and design dresses. I need to learn a foreign language and get a portrait of myself painted before the end of this year. I need to start on my salsa classes. I need to get that house furnished before christmas. I need to budget for a cam recorder before march next year. I need to get that craft site up. I need to get my professional cert before the end of next year. All the while, I need to start swimming the right way.
So many things to do, so little time.
Movies.
Legally Blonde. The scene where Elle was trying to improve herself by catching up on her reading, working out and making sure her pet needs are taken cared of at the same time. Who got the time??
Save the Last Dance. The part where Sarah met Derek and they hit it off on the dancefloor, where he motivates her and believes in her. The part where he brought her to the rooftop, and asked her if she wanted to get into Julliard and be with her all the way. The part that shows him as a strong person of his own rights and stands, and while he's working towards his own goal, he made time for her goals as well. I love tat kind of men. So level headed.
Dance with Me. The part where Rafael just danced amongst his fellow mates. And those moments where Ruby looked at Rafael on the dance floor as Eres Todo En Mi or You're My Everything crooned on.
Replacement Players. The part where Shane was hit by a fellow teammate and the announcer mentioned "Don't do anything great if you can't handle the congratulations." and other firey quotes.
Final Fantasy : The Spirit Within. The part where Dr Aki still seek for the remaining spirit even though all the odds are against her and that her time is running out as a phantom resides in her.
Matrix. The interview with Keanu Reeves when he's asked bout playing Neo and he replied "Yeah. It's like, Can you live up to that? Can you live up to the best part of yourself every day? Which I think is a really great question. Can you live to the best part of yourself all the time? It's hard. I try but I think that that aspect is something the film is actually also asking."
All those movies and it's moments have been following me for years.
I'm gonna set a few milestones for me this year.
I need to learn how to sew and design dresses. I need to learn a foreign language and get a portrait of myself painted before the end of this year. I need to start on my salsa classes. I need to get that house furnished before christmas. I need to budget for a cam recorder before march next year. I need to get that craft site up. I need to get my professional cert before the end of next year. All the while, I need to start swimming the right way.
So many things to do, so little time.
Labels: Resolution
posted by M.E. # 8:00 PM 0 Comments
Eyes Rolling and Red Carpet Commencing
"How do I know who he's going out with now?
I cant get involve with somebody who cant be mature bout relationship."
Good for her.
Read this nice article on sexy momma on trulymarsha site.
Confidence looks sexy on a person? Only if the guy look long enuf, else it's still the cleavage, tussled locks, long legs and high slits tat do the tricks.
Anyway, had some chat w friend bout all the 10 rules, prompted by the 10 rules from the movie Sassy Girl (korean).
10 Rules (Sassy Girl)
1. Don’t ask her to be feminine.
2. Don’t let her drink over three glasses. She’ll beat someone.
3. At a cafe, drink coffee instead of coke or juice.
4. If she hits you, act like it hurts. If it hurts, act like it doesn’t.
5. On your 100th day together give her a rose during her class. She’ll like it a lot.
6. Make sure you learn fencing and squash.
7. Also be prepared to go to prison sometimes.
8. If she says she’ll kill you, don’t take it lightly. You’ll feel better.
9. If her feet hurts, exchange shoes with her.
10. She likes to write, encourage her.
Twas a really nice movie, in US twas translated to The Bizarre Girl, watever names it's using, it's making waves.
Then I went n search for the 10 Things I Hate About You and came up with this.
"How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways." - Tagline for 10 Things I Hate About You
I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick — it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh — even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you — not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
So here I come with my own 10 Things I Hate About Thee:
I hate the way u leave the toilet floor wet
And the way thy lick my face
I hate the way u put ur paws on my face in the morning
I hate it when u bark
I hate it when u are gonna make me sick one day with ur sneezes
I hate it when I'm goin to miss u
Of the quiet moments that we shared
I hate the way I hav to let u go
I hate the regrets in my heart
I hate this feeling now
But I gotta live with it, while u will always remember me as a face from ur past with no names.
i'm a bitch cos i think if u broke up w someone, friends also no can do
i'm a bitch cos sometimes, i think being alone beats being a couple where u cant diff who's the guy n gal cos they wear the same clothes..
i'm a bitch cos i think being a career woman is more fulfilling than being a wife at home, baby breeding machine and waits for husband to comes home, serve husband, not doubting though he's flirting outside
i'm a bitch cos when most of my friends r married one day, i'd think i'm so lucky cos i dun suffer their marriage woes or complaints bout not enuf money, kids dun behave well, husband go out hav women or not spend enuf time at home..
i'm a bitch cos at the end of the day, i'm gonna b one of the gals u see, sexy n confident, aging and single..somebody u might think gonna be somebody else's mistress..where her tombstone lay still with secrets of her past.
Labels: Myself, Pain, Poignance
posted by M.E. # 7:58 PM 0 Comments
Charm Bracelets
There's a Reason in the World..You and I
The Riddle (You And I)
There was a man back in '95
Whose heart ran out of summers
But before he died, I asked him
Wait, what's the sense in life
Come over me, come over me
He said,
"Son why you got to sing that tune
Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon
Let an angel swing and make you swoon
Then you will see... You will see."
Then he said,
"Here's a riddle for you
Find the answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I..."
Picked up my kid from school today
Did you learn anything cause in the world today
You can't live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me
He said,
"Dad I'm big but we're smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well we're nothing at all
Still every mother's child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me"
And hey dad
Here's a riddle for you
Find the answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
I said,
"Son for all I've told you
When you get right down to the
Reason for the world...
Who am I?"
There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we're not wise enough to see
He said... You're looking for a clue I love you free...
The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel's eyes
A song plays on while the moon is hiding over me
Something comes over me
I guess we're big and I guess we're small
If you think about it man you know we got it all
Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free
I love you freely
Here's a riddle for you
Find the answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
- The Riddle (You And I) by Five for Fighting
This song stuck in my head from last nite. Especially the chorus part.
I like songs that doesnt write all bout love, empty/broken promises and it's likes, this is a good sample of songs tat moves me. Same for nickelbacks' and some of BonJovis', Greendays' and other studio-manufactured songs la.
A friend intro Achilles Heel by Toploader to me. Wonderful song, first impression twas a native-american song, after one hears it longer, it kinda stick on u.
Goodbye to the sky,
I know I can't fly, but I feel love
do you know how I feel?
you are my achilles heel.
hello to below, I feel love flow
like a river flow
you and I standing still
you are my achilles heel.
feeling free, yeah, what about me?
well you gotta give it up cos I feel love
do you know how I feel?
you are my achilles heel
goodbye to the sky
I know I can't fly, but I feel love
do you know how I feel?
you are my achilles heel.
for there's a child in your eyes
and the child never dies
so keep the dream alive
with the aid of second sight
I can push with all my might
to make a statue in the sky
of my achilles heel
small fry, don't know why
gotta get high - just to love life
you are my highs and lows
from my head to my toes
I said hey la, will I go far?
will I go far - cos I love life
do you know how I feel?
you are my achilles heel
I said oh no no, will I go slow?
will I go slow, when the feeling flows
for there's a child in your eyes
and the child never dies
so keep the dream alive
with the aid of second sight
I can push with all my might
o make the satue in the sky
of my achilles heel
well you're feeling free
so what about me?
I said hello and goodbye but I don't know why
well while we're small fry
on the line
with my achilles heel
- Achilles Heel by Toploader
There was a man back in '95
Whose heart ran out of summers
But before he died, I asked him
Wait, what's the sense in life
Come over me, come over me
He said,
"Son why you got to sing that tune
Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon
Let an angel swing and make you swoon
Then you will see... You will see."
Then he said,
"Here's a riddle for you
Find the answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I..."
Picked up my kid from school today
Did you learn anything cause in the world today
You can't live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me
He said,
"Dad I'm big but we're smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well we're nothing at all
Still every mother's child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me"
And hey dad
Here's a riddle for you
Find the answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
I said,
"Son for all I've told you
When you get right down to the
Reason for the world...
Who am I?"
There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we're not wise enough to see
He said... You're looking for a clue I love you free...
The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel's eyes
A song plays on while the moon is hiding over me
Something comes over me
I guess we're big and I guess we're small
If you think about it man you know we got it all
Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free
I love you freely
Here's a riddle for you
Find the answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
- The Riddle (You And I) by Five for Fighting
This song stuck in my head from last nite. Especially the chorus part.
I like songs that doesnt write all bout love, empty/broken promises and it's likes, this is a good sample of songs tat moves me. Same for nickelbacks' and some of BonJovis', Greendays' and other studio-manufactured songs la.
A friend intro Achilles Heel by Toploader to me. Wonderful song, first impression twas a native-american song, after one hears it longer, it kinda stick on u.
I know I can't fly, but I feel love
do you know how I feel?
you are my achilles heel.
hello to below, I feel love flow
like a river flow
you and I standing still
you are my achilles heel.
feeling free, yeah, what about me?
well you gotta give it up cos I feel love
do you know how I feel?
you are my achilles heel
goodbye to the sky
I know I can't fly, but I feel love
do you know how I feel?
you are my achilles heel.
for there's a child in your eyes
and the child never dies
so keep the dream alive
with the aid of second sight
I can push with all my might
to make a statue in the sky
of my achilles heel
small fry, don't know why
gotta get high - just to love life
you are my highs and lows
from my head to my toes
I said hey la, will I go far?
will I go far - cos I love life
do you know how I feel?
you are my achilles heel
I said oh no no, will I go slow?
will I go slow, when the feeling flows
for there's a child in your eyes
and the child never dies
so keep the dream alive
with the aid of second sight
I can push with all my might
o make the satue in the sky
of my achilles heel
well you're feeling free
so what about me?
I said hello and goodbye but I don't know why
well while we're small fry
on the line
with my achilles heel
- Achilles Heel by Toploader
Labels: Lyrical
posted by M.E. # 7:56 PM 0 Comments
Put Ur Records On
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.
Maybe sometimes, we got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seems to change, the more they stay the same.
Oh, don't you hesitate.
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.
You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.
Blue as the sky, sombre and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the road side,
(just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you,
Gotta love that afro hairdo.
Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.
You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.
Just more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer.
Do what you want to.
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.
Oh, You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.
- by CORRINE BAILEY RAE
Labels: Lyrical
posted by M.E. # 7:55 PM 0 Comments
Lethargy
There are some days, u just dun wanna wake up and brush ur teeth..
Or wash that nasty in-bed perspiration from clinging on ur skin..
Or go out to buy that breakfast or lunch or dinner..
Or turn off that tv with it's grey screen blaring at u..
Or to open tat door, where behind it lies a very angry woman, trying to get to the toilet located in ur room.
Nope, some days u woke up thinking of ideas, to seek mcs and ask for emergency leaves..
Cos I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead..
Some times, I plan to allocate some annual leaves, for some lucky mondays, so I can just lie dead in bed..
Without a care for the world, or the weather, or whether my clothes have molds..
Lethargy is alike sleep-inducing drug, similar to cocaine and alcohol, making me bones laze around without exercise.
posted by M.E. # 7:54 PM 0 Comments
Or wash that nasty in-bed perspiration from clinging on ur skin..
Or go out to buy that breakfast or lunch or dinner..
Or turn off that tv with it's grey screen blaring at u..
Or to open tat door, where behind it lies a very angry woman, trying to get to the toilet located in ur room.
Nope, some days u woke up thinking of ideas, to seek mcs and ask for emergency leaves..
Cos I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead..
Some times, I plan to allocate some annual leaves, for some lucky mondays, so I can just lie dead in bed..
Without a care for the world, or the weather, or whether my clothes have molds..
Lethargy is alike sleep-inducing drug, similar to cocaine and alcohol, making me bones laze around without exercise.
posted by M.E. # 7:54 PM 0 Comments
Forgotten To Breathe
There are times when I worry too much, I forgot to take time out to take a deep breath.
Sometimes when one's too obsessed with paying bills and other obligations, one has forgotten to linger a while and enjoy the simple moment of stillness in between time and feel grateful for simple things like chit chats and small talks.
I guess everybody's like tat once a while. I really need to put tis under my routine resolution so I wun forget all the simple things. Looking at the big picture is great for a project leader, but when one's own resource, it's the little things that count.
2007 is coming, time to take out that early year reso and start ticking things off or adding some missed out contents.
I'll admit, not many ppl do yearly resolution nor stick to it. So I made mine easy to stick with. And make sure I add on some routine ones to it so I wun forget being humble or where I came from or who I was before. It's a bit like maintaining that simplecity of character, the innocence so we wun get so easily swallowed whole in this on-going rat-race.
Ok, routine resolution :
- greet myself every morn with a happy smile : so I can check for broken teeth as well
- be thankful and grateful for simple things : lessen self-abhorrence syndrome
- be nice to people : my mind is crazy, it's always imagining ppl in the worst comical positions
- take time out for hobbies / renew old hobbies : the self-abhorrence thing again
- improve myself : diy, studies, readings, so I'd hav something else to talk besides myself
Add ons :
- take timeout for communication and understandings, ie : during meal times, shut off tv, after work, ask for daily happenings, be interested / act interested
- wake earlier for morning baths : fight against lethargy
- go for morn swims during weekends : aim for bootilicious body
- be more tactful : no more foot in mouth moments, so unhygienic
- listen and observe more
Mostly the above are reminders. Resolutions are like milestones.
Achieved milestones for me are :
- getting tattoo (temp ones, vege acid dissappears fast under hot water)
- changing job
- getting a permanent place
- change self-image
Not Yet Achieved :
- belly-piercing : dun judge me on this, it's a reminder thing
- bonia watch
- self portrait
- getting furniture
- change self-image again
Sometimes when one's too obsessed with paying bills and other obligations, one has forgotten to linger a while and enjoy the simple moment of stillness in between time and feel grateful for simple things like chit chats and small talks.
I guess everybody's like tat once a while. I really need to put tis under my routine resolution so I wun forget all the simple things. Looking at the big picture is great for a project leader, but when one's own resource, it's the little things that count.
2007 is coming, time to take out that early year reso and start ticking things off or adding some missed out contents.
I'll admit, not many ppl do yearly resolution nor stick to it. So I made mine easy to stick with. And make sure I add on some routine ones to it so I wun forget being humble or where I came from or who I was before. It's a bit like maintaining that simplecity of character, the innocence so we wun get so easily swallowed whole in this on-going rat-race.
Ok, routine resolution :
- greet myself every morn with a happy smile : so I can check for broken teeth as well
- be thankful and grateful for simple things : lessen self-abhorrence syndrome
- be nice to people : my mind is crazy, it's always imagining ppl in the worst comical positions
- take time out for hobbies / renew old hobbies : the self-abhorrence thing again
- improve myself : diy, studies, readings, so I'd hav something else to talk besides myself
Add ons :
- take timeout for communication and understandings, ie : during meal times, shut off tv, after work, ask for daily happenings, be interested / act interested
- wake earlier for morning baths : fight against lethargy
- go for morn swims during weekends : aim for bootilicious body
- be more tactful : no more foot in mouth moments, so unhygienic
- listen and observe more
Mostly the above are reminders. Resolutions are like milestones.
Achieved milestones for me are :
- getting tattoo (temp ones, vege acid dissappears fast under hot water)
- changing job
- getting a permanent place
- change self-image
Not Yet Achieved :
- belly-piercing : dun judge me on this, it's a reminder thing
- bonia watch
- self portrait
- getting furniture
- change self-image again
Labels: Resolution
posted by M.E. # 7:54 PM 0 Comments
Equilibrium
I've made peace with the demon within
Sometimes I still wage war with it
Nowadays I've come to realise, some wars are not worth the fight.
Labels: Myself
posted by M.E. # 7:48 PM 0 Comments
Quotes-O-Rama
I like quotes..
So many things once can summarise based on one's perception or impression or assumption just by one simple sentence..
Indeed, wisdom in a sentence, so deep, so delicious, so deeply soulfully and mind-numbingly frustrating with double meanings and innuendos..
Ah, the simplicity of life, made from sparks of day dreams and fairy tales..till reality hits one day and shattered the castles one built..
Lies and pants..the centurial link..how many casanovas have lied to get into the ladies' good book..how many accidents behind the cars, thus would generate "Men cause accidents, accidents cause men"..thus made me think of another one "Automobile; the thing that runs up hill and down people"..hmm..
True, but she forgot to mention where's the salary from. Nobody does anything for free nowadays.
posted by M.E. # 7:47 PM 0 Comments
Bimbos
I dun really hav high respect for ppl who are pretty, partly becos they always seem to exude a naiveness that's beyond frustration and being out in space most of the time.
I feel angry at ppl who dun wanna use their brain, for me, no matter how they look like, they r categorised under bimbos in my dictionary.
Cos I really hate it when somebody told me that they r signing some contracts without thinking cos it's so mafan aka requires too much thinking then after that complain bout the clauses that makes their life messy.
HelloooOooo, read before u sign la..Bring it home and read before u sign. Ask around before u sign. Do some research. It's our prerogative to bring it back and read before we sign anything, cos it's consumer rite. Sure it will take some time, but heck, it avoids lotsa headache in the future, and lotsa burdens too.
Dun la live on this earth looming around and act so important when u dun seem to use ur brain.
No, I dun wanna listen to ur complains bout how lucky u r that u got so many suitors la, so many bfs la, so many ppl buying gifts for u la..ppl are taking advantage of u left right bottom and top, dun u see it??
It frustrate me when it happens to my sister, it's so fucking frustrating when they think I was being over the top over it.
Fine, have it ur way. If u wanna learn things the hard way, go ahead, dun complain to me bout the mistakes u make.
If everything sign also without thinking, I can simply sell em off to Thailand and never see them again, cos good riddance! posted by M.E. # 7:46 PM 0 Comments
I feel angry at ppl who dun wanna use their brain, for me, no matter how they look like, they r categorised under bimbos in my dictionary.
Cos I really hate it when somebody told me that they r signing some contracts without thinking cos it's so mafan aka requires too much thinking then after that complain bout the clauses that makes their life messy.
HelloooOooo, read before u sign la..Bring it home and read before u sign. Ask around before u sign. Do some research. It's our prerogative to bring it back and read before we sign anything, cos it's consumer rite. Sure it will take some time, but heck, it avoids lotsa headache in the future, and lotsa burdens too.
Dun la live on this earth looming around and act so important when u dun seem to use ur brain.
No, I dun wanna listen to ur complains bout how lucky u r that u got so many suitors la, so many bfs la, so many ppl buying gifts for u la..ppl are taking advantage of u left right bottom and top, dun u see it??
It frustrate me when it happens to my sister, it's so fucking frustrating when they think I was being over the top over it.
Fine, have it ur way. If u wanna learn things the hard way, go ahead, dun complain to me bout the mistakes u make.
If everything sign also without thinking, I can simply sell em off to Thailand and never see them again, cos good riddance! posted by M.E. # 7:46 PM 0 Comments
Joanne Kam Po Po's Remedy for Calorie
When u r eating alone and nobody sees what u eat, it is not counted as calorie
When u drinking diet soda w candy or sweets, since both of them are sweet, they cancel each other out, so that is not counted as calorie
When u r eating w friends, that's not calorie cos u r eating the same stuff (same calorie)
When u r eating off ur friend's plate, that's his / her calorie, not urs
Stressed is only desserts spelled backwards "
- by Joanne Kam at Mix Morning Breakfast Show
Labels: Advice
posted by M.E. # 7:45 PM 0 Comments
Under-Extimating the Power of Hug
I think chinese culture prefer non-bodily contact as much as possible, if we can finish things without meeting or talking to one another, that'd have been better.
Chinese arent really the showy-lovey type, the only time they actually do a P.D.A. (Public Display of Affection) is when they r taking wedding photos or there are babies around. Hugs usually are culture-tically reserved for the westerners where bodily-contact with other human beings induce endorphine in them, thus making them look like a dorky lunatic on the streets (more so if the person they've hugged is the object of their affection).
Anyway, as I was saying, eastern shuld learn to place that dorky looking face on their face, and spread more viruses along the way, as they say, sharing is caring.
"First you live,
Then you die;
So screw the world, and lets get high!" - Anon
Chinese arent really the showy-lovey type, the only time they actually do a P.D.A. (Public Display of Affection) is when they r taking wedding photos or there are babies around. Hugs usually are culture-tically reserved for the westerners where bodily-contact with other human beings induce endorphine in them, thus making them look like a dorky lunatic on the streets (more so if the person they've hugged is the object of their affection).
Anyway, as I was saying, eastern shuld learn to place that dorky looking face on their face, and spread more viruses along the way, as they say, sharing is caring.
Then you die;
So screw the world, and lets get high!" - Anon
Labels: Advice
posted by M.E. # 7:44 PM 0 Comments
E Sonnet
As I go for my morning spree
Along the roadside I saw men pee
Now I have no eye see
Drinking tea
With my bestie
Shooting stones at some tree
Accidentally throw away my key
Go pick up key with a glee
Being called a silly
Went back for more tally
(to be continued)
Labels: Poignance
posted by M.E. # 7:43 PM 0 Comments
2007
My friend frm penang been asking me this question : 3 things you want to see in year 2007 and 3 things you DON’T want to see in year 2007?
My answer is as below, separated into 2 choices.
Choice #1 :
3 things you want to see in year 2007
- better annual revenues thus resulting in better remuneration and happy working environment
- greetings amongst colleagues and bosses in the morning
- team building programs to encourage positive working attitudes for the upcoming year
3 things you DON’T want to see in year 2007
- ppl working late into the nite
- stressful working environment due to inefficient plannings
- many inefficiently planned meetings
Choice #2 :
3 things you want to see in year 2007
- more casual wears
- balloons decorating the off walls and ceilings
- ppl winking at u
3 things you DON’T want to see in year 2007
- bosses pinching the secretataries' butt
- hamsap coworkers
- office politics
(to be continued)
My answer is as below, separated into 2 choices.
Choice #1 :
3 things you want to see in year 2007
- better annual revenues thus resulting in better remuneration and happy working environment
- greetings amongst colleagues and bosses in the morning
- team building programs to encourage positive working attitudes for the upcoming year
3 things you DON’T want to see in year 2007
- ppl working late into the nite
- stressful working environment due to inefficient plannings
- many inefficiently planned meetings
Choice #2 :
3 things you want to see in year 2007
- more casual wears
- balloons decorating the off walls and ceilings
- ppl winking at u
3 things you DON’T want to see in year 2007
- bosses pinching the secretataries' butt
- hamsap coworkers
- office politics
(to be continued)
Labels: Resolution
posted by M.E. # 6:48 PM 0 Comments
MIA
When I was around 5-6 yrs old, I went MIA on my mum.
She was pregnant w my second sis then, tagging me to church one day.
I didnt wanna get into the church then, cause I was a selfish little brat and angry w my mum over some reason I cant remember now, but I remembered running away from her, and walking towards my nanny's house. Which was about 2 km frm the town church.
I remembered walking slowly to reach the house, remembering the usual route my parents take using the car, remembering the path by the roadside and the trees and plants and houses and landmarks, remembering to look right and left before crossing the road. I was a curious kid then, always open to new things.
I remembered reaching my nanny's house, them asking me where's my mum, me didnt answer and played w the toys as usual.
I remembered one of my nanny's kids calling my mum, I remembered her and coming to fetch me and totally relieved cause she didnt scold me.
I remembered her telling me she almost called the police and report missing kid.
Years later, she'd tell the story over and over again.
But none of us remembered the reason why I let go of her hands, neither did I.
Shows to me, that human forgets anger and pain, but they remembered gestures and events that went on.
Lesson to learn : Teach kids how to give or care for others generously, cos they will learn how to hold back as they grow older.
She was pregnant w my second sis then, tagging me to church one day.
I didnt wanna get into the church then, cause I was a selfish little brat and angry w my mum over some reason I cant remember now, but I remembered running away from her, and walking towards my nanny's house. Which was about 2 km frm the town church.
I remembered walking slowly to reach the house, remembering the usual route my parents take using the car, remembering the path by the roadside and the trees and plants and houses and landmarks, remembering to look right and left before crossing the road. I was a curious kid then, always open to new things.
I remembered reaching my nanny's house, them asking me where's my mum, me didnt answer and played w the toys as usual.
I remembered one of my nanny's kids calling my mum, I remembered her and coming to fetch me and totally relieved cause she didnt scold me.
I remembered her telling me she almost called the police and report missing kid.
Years later, she'd tell the story over and over again.
But none of us remembered the reason why I let go of her hands, neither did I.
Shows to me, that human forgets anger and pain, but they remembered gestures and events that went on.
Lesson to learn : Teach kids how to give or care for others generously, cos they will learn how to hold back as they grow older.
Labels: Childhood
posted by M.E. # 6:47 PM 0 Comments
Phobia
Everybody has their own set of unique phobias.
So do I.
Since I was small, my mum always force us to go to church, mostly for character building and social development aspect (so I believe, I didnt ask her).
I never like goin to church, not then, not now. Now is for a whole different kind of reason, then is cause of the phobia.
My mum never get it why I didnt like goin to church, she just thought I liked watching Smurfs and My Little Ponies then. The reason runs deeper than surface.
I grew up and educated in a co-malay-ed school (eng-ed if u cannot understand this). All my sisters are brought up in chinese schools, at home we speak our mother tongue.
The church my family gone to was a methodist church, chinese speaking one. The only english speaking one then was the Catholic church, which none of my family went.
I used to dread going to church, cause smtimes when the teacher asked us to read a passage aloud to the class, I'd pray real hard he/she didnt ask me. Even when I was in the same class as my sister's also I dread to be asked to read aloud.
I dun really know if my mum ever told them that I cant read chinese at all, or even understand a word of what they say.
Then God threw in another challenge for me to take on; Hyperopia aka Farsightedness. Reading and understanding what the heck the others are singing is already a tough brow-sweating task, not knowing what to read and what song came next, wow, that requires a bit of a creative skill. I didnt wanna wear the spec my mum just got for me cause it made me looked smart when I really feel like a walking stoopid fool pretending to be intelligent. That's how I developed my short term memory skills, a temporary storage mechanism before purging them out after the whole session's ended. How much irony I've lived thru..*sigh..
Most of the time, I ad-libbed, or mouthing air. I still fit in when the song praising went on, after yrs I just got used to memorising the lyrics, but never got to understand it.
It was ok for a while, havin kleptomania when being asked to go church, then the illness magically dissappear when my mum went out.
Sitting in front of the tv one day watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, I realised, I'll never hav a regular childhood, having all my fears mapped out in front of me.
If one day ur kid says they r not well when one can perfectly see em playing in the living room, they r really just kids w issues which requires a bit of a elemental child shrink approach; be nice to them, dun scold and judge, play w them and made them feel accepted then asked them nicely what's going on or why they dun wanna do smtg. Be specific, kids cant think like an adult yet, for them, their current issue means the world to them, which is true as their world at that time was pretty small. If they dun wanna answer, be patient, dun push. Ask again some other time. They will tell u when they r ready to share.
Actually, that approach also works for adult. Just we usually hav high expectations of them, but really most of the time, they r also big kids wearing G2000.
Anyway, just the other day, as I sat chatting w my galpals, I realised, my childhood fear never really got erased. As they were chatting like speed trains, I got lost in my thought, couldnt catch up. When I got some feedbacks, I realise I speak like a total nincompoop, "Err, arr..U know.." then everybody focused on me, making me feel totally self conscious, made me choked down watever remarks I got and continued eating.
How I hate the fast chinese speaking society.
"I wish I was a kid again, where bruised knees heal faster than broken heart." - Anon
So do I.
Since I was small, my mum always force us to go to church, mostly for character building and social development aspect (so I believe, I didnt ask her).
I never like goin to church, not then, not now. Now is for a whole different kind of reason, then is cause of the phobia.
My mum never get it why I didnt like goin to church, she just thought I liked watching Smurfs and My Little Ponies then. The reason runs deeper than surface.
I grew up and educated in a co-malay-ed school (eng-ed if u cannot understand this). All my sisters are brought up in chinese schools, at home we speak our mother tongue.
The church my family gone to was a methodist church, chinese speaking one. The only english speaking one then was the Catholic church, which none of my family went.
I used to dread going to church, cause smtimes when the teacher asked us to read a passage aloud to the class, I'd pray real hard he/she didnt ask me. Even when I was in the same class as my sister's also I dread to be asked to read aloud.
I dun really know if my mum ever told them that I cant read chinese at all, or even understand a word of what they say.
Then God threw in another challenge for me to take on; Hyperopia aka Farsightedness. Reading and understanding what the heck the others are singing is already a tough brow-sweating task, not knowing what to read and what song came next, wow, that requires a bit of a creative skill. I didnt wanna wear the spec my mum just got for me cause it made me looked smart when I really feel like a walking stoopid fool pretending to be intelligent. That's how I developed my short term memory skills, a temporary storage mechanism before purging them out after the whole session's ended. How much irony I've lived thru..*sigh..
Most of the time, I ad-libbed, or mouthing air. I still fit in when the song praising went on, after yrs I just got used to memorising the lyrics, but never got to understand it.
It was ok for a while, havin kleptomania when being asked to go church, then the illness magically dissappear when my mum went out.
Sitting in front of the tv one day watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, I realised, I'll never hav a regular childhood, having all my fears mapped out in front of me.
If one day ur kid says they r not well when one can perfectly see em playing in the living room, they r really just kids w issues which requires a bit of a elemental child shrink approach; be nice to them, dun scold and judge, play w them and made them feel accepted then asked them nicely what's going on or why they dun wanna do smtg. Be specific, kids cant think like an adult yet, for them, their current issue means the world to them, which is true as their world at that time was pretty small. If they dun wanna answer, be patient, dun push. Ask again some other time. They will tell u when they r ready to share.
Actually, that approach also works for adult. Just we usually hav high expectations of them, but really most of the time, they r also big kids wearing G2000.
Anyway, just the other day, as I sat chatting w my galpals, I realised, my childhood fear never really got erased. As they were chatting like speed trains, I got lost in my thought, couldnt catch up. When I got some feedbacks, I realise I speak like a total nincompoop, "Err, arr..U know.." then everybody focused on me, making me feel totally self conscious, made me choked down watever remarks I got and continued eating.
How I hate the fast chinese speaking society.
"I wish I was a kid again, where bruised knees heal faster than broken heart." - Anon
Labels: Childhood
posted by M.E. # 6:46 PM 0 Comments
Keeping An Arse of An Appearance
Yes, that's what I am at work. Keeping an arse of an appearance.
My hair isnt kept, my eyes are droopy by the time I come into work and goin back from work, my mind's not working half the time, my body is screaming for help, and my mouth is dry from no-usage. Ok, let's face it, I'm a moronic arsehole.
Sometimes, a person may feel like it's the end of the world for them, but for the outer appearance, they just appear collected and looked really well for their age. Like me. kakak..yes, I'm vain.
I'm taking in more freelance and it's eating up all my spare time. But I cant stop, cos once I stop, the mind-bogglingly irritating thinking starts.
Lately I'm losing sleep over thoughts that I cant shake. Nope, I'm not going crazy, yet. Cos if I am, I wouldnt be sitting here dissecting my own thoughts, shrinking myself and still able to behave like a normal person at work (so far nobody's complaining).
I know wat's the root of my problem, all I need is some time to sort it out while juggling the impending doom of owning a mortgage and rushing for datelines. Actually what I need is more time, which I cant afford and is running out fast. The next phase of life is coming, another impending doom. Cant I remain the way I am for the rest of my life? Cant I take pleasure in my own company and live my life in peace? Cant I be radical and abnormal and still be happy with it? I guess I just wanna be everyone else so nobody would question me and nag me and make my life a constant barrage of silly questions and careless riverie. Cant a girl be left alone?? Actually, I love the bit a lot; careless reverie. Guess now I'm just buying my time, and I'm buying them with really hard earn cash. I will have to earn more..*sigh..
Today got to work early. Woke up usual, just didnt use the toilet to max. Smells like my bed actually. Told my housemate that I'm giving em 2 months notice. Didnt tell em the house was ours. Dunno la, dun really feel like telling anybody that we bought a house, mayb it's my defense mechanism kicking in. Being a gal in a city makes one extremely cautious bout the info they give out. My experience taught me that. Anyway, housewarming will take up a lot later, like half a yr later. Cos need to equip the place w furniture before anything else. Otherwise guest would hav come my house picnic style, which is not really the way I want the housewarming to be.
So basically, I'm gonna rent out all the rooms first, except the master one. Then as I take in freelance n other odd jobs, I'll see if I can afford more of the rooms myself. It's really not easy, but I'll see where I can put in the effort.
What odd jobs I wanna take in when I moved in. Hmm..thinking of giving tutor lessons to kids, in the dining hall. Hmm..need to get big dining table for that. Actually I wanted to get round dining table, easier for entertaining guests, but not easy for tutoring a bunch of kids, 2 times a week. Then I wanna give out simple manicure sessions during the weekend or weekdays nite, my plc got lotsa students. Then I wanna start doing my DIY hobbies again, painting, drawing and mayb a music lesson or salsa. After I had my painting and drawing stuff goin on, mayb I'll try selling the stuff online. Then I wanna start making clothes. Dresses actually. Then can make pretty dresses and sell em online. At nite when I'm free, I can do my iT freelance, after I install the cable. And during free time, I gotta study for my pro cert. I think I gt start taking long distance learning, need to get my master. So many things, so little time.
I've been wanting to do all those stuff, but as usual procrastination and fear of the unknown kicked in. I fear I cant handle it. Mayb a step at a time, a starting point somewhere.
Hmm..only time will tell.
My hair isnt kept, my eyes are droopy by the time I come into work and goin back from work, my mind's not working half the time, my body is screaming for help, and my mouth is dry from no-usage. Ok, let's face it, I'm a moronic arsehole.
Sometimes, a person may feel like it's the end of the world for them, but for the outer appearance, they just appear collected and looked really well for their age. Like me. kakak..yes, I'm vain.
I'm taking in more freelance and it's eating up all my spare time. But I cant stop, cos once I stop, the mind-bogglingly irritating thinking starts.
Lately I'm losing sleep over thoughts that I cant shake. Nope, I'm not going crazy, yet. Cos if I am, I wouldnt be sitting here dissecting my own thoughts, shrinking myself and still able to behave like a normal person at work (so far nobody's complaining).
I know wat's the root of my problem, all I need is some time to sort it out while juggling the impending doom of owning a mortgage and rushing for datelines. Actually what I need is more time, which I cant afford and is running out fast. The next phase of life is coming, another impending doom. Cant I remain the way I am for the rest of my life? Cant I take pleasure in my own company and live my life in peace? Cant I be radical and abnormal and still be happy with it? I guess I just wanna be everyone else so nobody would question me and nag me and make my life a constant barrage of silly questions and careless riverie. Cant a girl be left alone?? Actually, I love the bit a lot; careless reverie. Guess now I'm just buying my time, and I'm buying them with really hard earn cash. I will have to earn more..*sigh..
Today got to work early. Woke up usual, just didnt use the toilet to max. Smells like my bed actually. Told my housemate that I'm giving em 2 months notice. Didnt tell em the house was ours. Dunno la, dun really feel like telling anybody that we bought a house, mayb it's my defense mechanism kicking in. Being a gal in a city makes one extremely cautious bout the info they give out. My experience taught me that. Anyway, housewarming will take up a lot later, like half a yr later. Cos need to equip the place w furniture before anything else. Otherwise guest would hav come my house picnic style, which is not really the way I want the housewarming to be.
So basically, I'm gonna rent out all the rooms first, except the master one. Then as I take in freelance n other odd jobs, I'll see if I can afford more of the rooms myself. It's really not easy, but I'll see where I can put in the effort.
What odd jobs I wanna take in when I moved in. Hmm..thinking of giving tutor lessons to kids, in the dining hall. Hmm..need to get big dining table for that. Actually I wanted to get round dining table, easier for entertaining guests, but not easy for tutoring a bunch of kids, 2 times a week. Then I wanna give out simple manicure sessions during the weekend or weekdays nite, my plc got lotsa students. Then I wanna start doing my DIY hobbies again, painting, drawing and mayb a music lesson or salsa. After I had my painting and drawing stuff goin on, mayb I'll try selling the stuff online. Then I wanna start making clothes. Dresses actually. Then can make pretty dresses and sell em online. At nite when I'm free, I can do my iT freelance, after I install the cable. And during free time, I gotta study for my pro cert. I think I gt start taking long distance learning, need to get my master. So many things, so little time.
I've been wanting to do all those stuff, but as usual procrastination and fear of the unknown kicked in. I fear I cant handle it. Mayb a step at a time, a starting point somewhere.
Hmm..only time will tell.
Labels: Self-Mock
posted by M.E. # 9:09 AM 0 Comments
Interview Pieces on Bale
Biography
Wikipedia
Articles
Still fresh from The Machinist, it became necessary for Bale to bulk up to match the powerful physique of Batman. He was given a deadline of six months to do this. Bale recalled it as far from a simple accomplishment: “…when it actually came to building muscle, I was useless. I couldn’t do one push up the first day. All of the muscles were gone, so I had a real tough time rebuilding all of that.”
Christian Bale's career has been marked by as many commercial failures as artistic successes, and frequently at the same time. So why then is he one of the industry's most in-demand actors? The answer to that is easy: the 30-year-old actor has talent to burn. And burn it he has, in such varied projects as Empire of the Sun, Newsies, Velvet Goldmine, American Psycho, and Equilibrium; remarkably, he seems to still have plenty of fuel left.
Do you think you'll continue pushing yourself and choosing challenging roles as much in future?
I can't bring myself to say, 'I can't be arsed to do it.' Because if it's a really good role, I can be arsed. I'm going to kick myself in the arse because one thing that I particularly loathe seeing is actors who've got some kind of reputation and seem to just ride it out and take it easy. It ends up becoming very boring. But then I think anybody can find a comfort zone and start settling back on little tricks.
Where does the need to stretch yourself stem from?
I think it's partly because acting is viewed by some as being a very sissified, comfortable profession to choose. Maybe it's my way of protesting against that a bit, purposefully making myself very uncomfortable in the process of preparing for a role.
Since he is granting interviews, however, Bale reveals what he'd like the audience to know before watching "Machinist."
"Ideally, I'd like them to know nothing because I love ... to be completely surprised," he says, adding, "It's quite rare that you get a group of filmmakers who are absolutely making a movie solely for their own viewing pleasure. This is what we all want to watch, but without it being some kind of masturbatory exercise."
He also thinks that Nolan - whom he first met just before beginning The Machinist shoot - must have batted hard for him. "I can't help but think he thought, 'Hmm, he commits himself. This actor bloody goes there. He goes the distance'.
"I'm a great believer that if you want something, you go for it. If you're really into a project, you bloody contact (the director). And you tell 'em that. To me it's not in any way begging. I think it's a strange thing that more people don't do that - but apparently they don't, because a number of directors have said to me, 'You called me, and I've realised how much you love this project. And I wanted an actor who loved this project'. I think a lot of actors are fearful that they're going to bare their throat then be told, 'We don't want you'."
Even at the dawn of Bale's lengthy career, he was displaying serious cool. He landed himself an agent at the age of nine, after hanging about backstage in London's West End, where his sister Louise (now a theatre director in Los Angeles) was in the cast of Bugsy Malone. He has three older sisters. At the age of 12, and with a smattering of television and theatre work behind him, he beat 4000 other hopefuls in the seven-month audition process for the lead in Steven Spielberg's Empire of the Sun. His performance drew favourable comparisons with 10-year-old Tatum O'Neal's Oscar-winning turn in Paper Moon. But even then he was proving media-shy, briefly disappearing in the middle of a round of promotional interviews in Paris.
Back home in Bournemouth, he would later reflect: "Girls were all over me, boys wanted to fight me, and I was being asked to open local fetes when all I wanted to do was ride my BMX bike in the woods. I told my parents I wasn't interested in doing anything again because the attention ruined it."
"My dad would never have stayed in England had he not had us," Bale says. "So there was always that discontent with being stuck. And also a real hatred of any of us thinking that we were being pigeonholed into any class. He wanted us to think we could mix with absolutely anybody that we chose to and not to feel inferior to anybody or that things were not possible. I credit him completely with my not having any fear or trepidation - 'Yeah, I f---ing can go and be a film actor'. Even if you don't do it, give it a bloody shot. He was totally my motivation for thinking in that way."
And if it doesn't (on havin movies made the way they want it to happen)? A whole franchise will come crashing down, the fan message boards will light up and Christian Bale will go on being the greatest British actor with no hits to his name. "I tell you, even you saying that excites me a little bit!" he says of the suggestion of box-office peril. "I'm thinking, 'Yes, wouldn't that be something else?'"
Yea, delicious fellow, isnt him?
I just love the whole social-standing-defiant thing. Being able to do things the way u want it being done without compromising on the very original pieces of the franchise?
How many ppl can actually pull it off, yet at the same time, living life the way they want it, without compromise of self and be marked both a rebel and maverick at the same time in their field?
I guess I'm just into defiance in a person, but not in terms of law, just in terms of stature in the society, never succumbing to changing oneself to suit another, but in terms of living in harmony and disbelief that we actually hav a choice or sayings in our life.
It's nice to know and be reminded.
Labels: Inspiration, Motivation
posted by M.E. # 6:23 PM 0 Comments
Dun Pout
Some ppl arent suitable for pouting.
Like this colleague of mine and a friend of mine and Channing Tatum or any other macho guys. And I'm not talking bout guys only, gals also.
Does Christian Bale pout? Does Shah Rukh Khan pout? Does Aragon of LOTR pout???
Please, before one start pouting in public, do practice in front of the mirror first.
Cos some ppl arent suitable to pout, once they do, I get really creeped out.
It's like the after effect of watching the Exorcist for the first time.
"Pouting - Not Cool" - ngy
Labels: Advice
posted by M.E. # 6:17 PM 0 Comments
Outdo Oneself
Had been reading loads on interviews, mostly by thespians.
I remembered the first interview that sparked my fiery desire, to outdo myself.
Twas by Keanu Reeves, after his movie Matrix II, where he stretched himself so far into the limit that every nite after the scenes were shot, he had to emerge himself in ice bathtubs to numb those sore frm his body. That's what one calls dedication.
His quote will never leave me:
Q : But did you pick something up from playing him (Neo of Matrix)?
A : Yeah. It's like, Can you live up to that? Can you live up to the best part of yourself every day? Which I think is a really great question. Can you live to the best part of yourself all the time? It's hard. I try but I think that that aspect is something the film is actually also asking.
End of quote.
Can you live up to that? Can you live up to the best part of yourself every day? Can you live to the best part of yourself all the time?
Actually, that's a very hard question. I've been trying since form 5 and till now, I still cant live up to the best part of myself. Sometimes, I beat myself up for not living up to my expectations, haha.
There are days when I've pushed myself to a limit, and I go, "Sodeska, that's my limit." and I stop. Then when opportunity comes again and I pushed myself again, I go a lil bit farther from my original endurance. It's amazing when we look back and see, wow, I can go that far. That pushes for another day.
So I just keep the curiousity coming in, giving my best focus in that particular moment or projects and never giving up. Someday, I'm gonna get there. (Where u ask me? Beats me. Mayb I just love beating my self up mentally. I think I'm mentally retarded or something.)
Anyway, been reading Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale's interview since they were both strong characters in The Prestige.
Below are glimpses of Bale's interview that capture my attention:
"One can glimpse in his impassioned speech his own allegiance to his acting craft. He admits that he admires people who can throw themselves into their work 100% . And for a moment, the line between Bale and his character, who is also obsessed with his professional calling, blurs."
"Ask him what he loves about the job, and he says with sincerity: 'The hardcore nature of the commitment that is necessary to do it well.' "
"What he hates about the job, he adds, chuckling with self-deprecation, is also “the necessity of the commitment because it means that you can’t get lazy really."
"Probably people who have better technique than me are able to be lazy and just be as good. But I don’t have that technique. I’ve never learnt it really, so for me it’s total absolute vein-popping commitment or nothing."
"That sort of ascetic dedication to his craft explains the lack of a publicist. He prefers to let his work do the talking."
– The Straits Times Singapore / Asia News Network
"Persona: Unpredictable, unconventional Brit actor who pops up in the strangest of roles in the strangest of films. Like 2002 sci-fi flick Equilibrium, of which one prominent American critic wrote: "Bale is so intense here it seems as if he might implode at any minute.' "
"Career advice: Continue doing surprising things. Bank on your Batcave cache to make people check out the arthouse. Heck, you have been doing the strange stuff for so long, even if the Caped Crusader sequel flops, what are they going to do to you? Give you the strange stuff?"
Hugh's interview had one quote that I personally like:
Hugh Jackman may not have changed over the years, but yet he remains one of Hollywood's busiest and most sought after actors. "My wife sometimes jokes that she thinks I'm a little bit of a workaholic, but my definition of a workaholic is someone who can't switch it off, which I can do", the affable Aussie says laughingly. "I work hard and I really enjoy it -- I've always loved acting -- but, I can switch it off."
Sometimes, taking calculated risks enable one reaches to a different level, which might or not be a good thing, but hey, that's risk for doing the things one's passionate of.
And risks are something I know about.
PS : I've discovered Thomas Kretschmann can be so utterly sexy like hell given some time and the right character. And the I realised, when he's being relax in a character, he's emerged into this presence that one can describe as Liam Neeson. A viewer noted, "and the dustily handsome Thomas Kretschmann (Nikopol), whose profile leans to Liam Neeson where his comics counterpart did Brando." Utterly devastating.
I remembered the first interview that sparked my fiery desire, to outdo myself.
Twas by Keanu Reeves, after his movie Matrix II, where he stretched himself so far into the limit that every nite after the scenes were shot, he had to emerge himself in ice bathtubs to numb those sore frm his body. That's what one calls dedication.
His quote will never leave me:
Q : But did you pick something up from playing him (Neo of Matrix)?
A : Yeah. It's like, Can you live up to that? Can you live up to the best part of yourself every day? Which I think is a really great question. Can you live to the best part of yourself all the time? It's hard. I try but I think that that aspect is something the film is actually also asking.
End of quote.
Can you live up to that? Can you live up to the best part of yourself every day? Can you live to the best part of yourself all the time?
Actually, that's a very hard question. I've been trying since form 5 and till now, I still cant live up to the best part of myself. Sometimes, I beat myself up for not living up to my expectations, haha.
There are days when I've pushed myself to a limit, and I go, "Sodeska, that's my limit." and I stop. Then when opportunity comes again and I pushed myself again, I go a lil bit farther from my original endurance. It's amazing when we look back and see, wow, I can go that far. That pushes for another day.
So I just keep the curiousity coming in, giving my best focus in that particular moment or projects and never giving up. Someday, I'm gonna get there. (Where u ask me? Beats me. Mayb I just love beating my self up mentally. I think I'm mentally retarded or something.)
Anyway, been reading Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale's interview since they were both strong characters in The Prestige.
Below are glimpses of Bale's interview that capture my attention:
"Ask him what he loves about the job, and he says with sincerity: 'The hardcore nature of the commitment that is necessary to do it well.' "
"What he hates about the job, he adds, chuckling with self-deprecation, is also “the necessity of the commitment because it means that you can’t get lazy really."
"Probably people who have better technique than me are able to be lazy and just be as good. But I don’t have that technique. I’ve never learnt it really, so for me it’s total absolute vein-popping commitment or nothing."
"That sort of ascetic dedication to his craft explains the lack of a publicist. He prefers to let his work do the talking."
– The Straits Times Singapore / Asia News Network
"Persona: Unpredictable, unconventional Brit actor who pops up in the strangest of roles in the strangest of films. Like 2002 sci-fi flick Equilibrium, of which one prominent American critic wrote: "Bale is so intense here it seems as if he might implode at any minute.' "
"Career advice: Continue doing surprising things. Bank on your Batcave cache to make people check out the arthouse. Heck, you have been doing the strange stuff for so long, even if the Caped Crusader sequel flops, what are they going to do to you? Give you the strange stuff?"
Hugh's interview had one quote that I personally like:
Sometimes, taking calculated risks enable one reaches to a different level, which might or not be a good thing, but hey, that's risk for doing the things one's passionate of.
And risks are something I know about.
PS : I've discovered Thomas Kretschmann can be so utterly sexy like hell given some time and the right character. And the I realised, when he's being relax in a character, he's emerged into this presence that one can describe as Liam Neeson. A viewer noted, "and the dustily handsome Thomas Kretschmann (Nikopol), whose profile leans to Liam Neeson where his comics counterpart did Brando." Utterly devastating.
Labels: Inspiration, Motivation
posted by M.E. # 4:54 PM 0 Comments
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