thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..

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My sis went back to sarawak yesterday, flight 11.40am, airasia at LCCT.

I fetched her there, waited in line with her, sent her off at 11.10am and took a lone drive back to office.

As I watched her walking into the glass door, it looked like the senario one got when one's sending off their relatives or smtg and there's a clot smwhere at ur throat.

I've been sent off by my parents and relatives and friends, but I've never been in the position to send off another person, u know?

Anyway, after years living with her and squabbling over petty matters and other misfits, I've come to realise I actually counted a lot on her and depended a lot on her as well.

Now that she wun be around to safe my butt any more, I just gt revert back to being self-dependent. Meaning, clean after my own mess, wash my own clothes, cook my own food, clear up unneccessary stuff that I dun use.

I've realised too, as I cleaned up the room yesternite, that when I'm living with her, we've got lotsa stuff we dun use but we put it there perhaps for show. It's like a whole wardrobe or collection of toiletries tat when ppl come into the room, they'd expect a whole family living there whereas there's only two.

I mean, how messy can one get?

Anyway, we aint messy, just hoarding a lot of stuff and never seem to throw em away even though we've kept them for some up to five years.

Many freebies toiletries that we dun use, but kept it for just in case..lotsa half used cosmetics still kept for JIC (just in case) moments.

It's nuts.

So, as I was saying, when I live alone, I always put stuff that I use frequently and boxed up those tat I dun touch or give to other ppl when needs arise.

So basically one can see a lot of space and not many stuff, cos I'm one person show maa.

And lotsa dust too, cos I dun do spring cleaning that often or only when whim strikes.

When living with another person, the space never seem to be enough.

When I'm finally getting the whole place to myself, the space seems a bit intimidating.

It's really odd actually.

At the airport, she asked me if I'd miss her or not.

Actually, the thing I'd miss most bout my sis is her cooking and presence, the thing I wouldnt miss most would be her tantrum.

She laughed and said smtimes when she's with me, most of the time I wouldnt talk and do my own stuff, that I just need to know that she's there is enuf.

I guess she's right, I'm not that talkative on a daily basis, I let my mind do the talking for me, which if most ppl would just sit down and observe and be really quiet, they'd hear how the conversations going on in the air.

Nope, I'm not suffering from some mental illness, just most of the time, my mind moves too fast for my mouth, and by the time I wanna voice out my thoughts, the moment's passed and another thought resides in the current memory. Even as a kid I've been like that, non-talkative, self-minding-business and unpredictable.

I hate it when ppl say that I think too much, they never seem to question my actions when problems arise and I solve it effortlessly and without a word, most of em just thought I handle meself pretty well, well, that's cos my mind has predicted all those senarios before it even happened that some happen as deja vu. It's called visualizations and affirmations in case anybody's thinking wat a wack job I am.

Anyway, being alone for some times does that to u. That's y first 2-3 yrs of a kid's life is of absolute crucial, if one wanna hav kids, hav 2 kids at least, a yr apart so they'd hav partners-in-crime and wingmen. After 2 kids, the rest one can hav after a few years, but gt make it pairs if parents dun really hav time for kids, so the kids wuld hav playmates and smthing to occupy their time. Otherwise, they'd turn out like some of my friends who r the only child in the family, thus making em brats in some ways and always gotta hang around w friends or whoever cos they r so bored to death.

My sis Diana is also suffering from such predicament. She's the only baby left at home now, but mum's in Kuching and dad's in hometown and both of em dun seem to really talk to her. So far the person she's closest to is in Singapore who ironically never seem to stop bickering with her when they were together last time at hometown. Now that Nat's in spore, D kinda missed her companionship and they have been having some heated sms transactions going on, which aint exactly a bad thing except that Nat complains too much and sends off too many negative vibes to D.

Now that B and Nat's back in Kuching, cool. 5/6 family reunion.

So now what I gotta do is start hoarding CSI Las Vegas (season 1,2,3), NCIS (season1,2), Futurama (season1), MIB Cartoon Series.

"Lonely, I'm so lonely.." - xmas 2006

Labels: Happenings

posted by M.E. # 11:45 AM

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thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..

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