thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..

Shouts

Anyway, here's a nice lyric part that I wanna share :

Aeng Moo Sae

Tto eojecheoreom dasi geuripseumnida..
Bogo sipeun mam juljido annneunji..
Jakkuman geudaega tteooreumnida......
Hearyeobolsurok deo nunmul namnida
Humchyeonaebwado heureuneun nunmure
Gieogi tto dareun gieogeuro beonjyeo apeuge nal ullimnida......
Badeun geotman isseoseo naegen huhoeppuninde
Jun ge eomneun nal geudaen tto ijeulkka geobina......
Saranghamnida nan...... nan saranghamnida
Geudaeege baeun manko manheun maldeul junge
I mal hana ipbeoreutcheoreom na
Jungeolgeorimnida......honja babocheoreom
Mianhamnida cham...... cham mianhamnida
Dwineujeun i malkkaji mianhajiman
Yeomchieopsi geudael gidarimnida
Haengyeo naeireun doraolkka ......

English Translation :

Parrot

I miss you again, just like it's yesterday..
My desire to see you just won't disappear..
You just keep appearing in my mind..
The more I comfort myself, the more I cry..
Even if I rub away those tears secretly..
The memories spreading to other memories, Making me cry with pain..
I regret that I've only received..
Will you forget me because I haven't given you anything?
I love you, I love you..
This is what I learned from you, Out of all the words and phrases in the world..
This has become my favorite phrase..
I mutter it to myself, as if I were stupid..
I'm really sorry, I'm sorry..
I'm sorry for these words that are too late..
I wait for you without a sense of honour..
Will you return tomorrow by chance?

I like watching movies or drama that portrays pain or desperation in silence. If the act reaches out to it's audience, then it's good acting.

The particular song's desperation reaches out to me. Especially the chorus part..I wonder if u can hear what I've heard?

..jun ge eomneun nal geudaen tto ijeulkka geobina..
he spread out his fists and shout out his pain to the world..
..saranghamnida nan..nan saranghamnida..
listen to me! listen to me! he shouted in silence..
..i mal hana ipbeoreutcheoreom na..
shaking his head in disbelief, pls believe me..
..jungeolgeorimnida, honja babocheoreom..
listen to me pls, I beg of u..
..mianhamnida cham, cham mianhamnida..
I beg of u, listen to me, listen to me..
..dwineujeun i malkkaji mianhajiman..
regret and pain is what he's feeling..
..yeomchieopsi geudael gidarimnida..
he hang on to his hope..
..haengyeo naeireun doraolkka..
he send his hope to the wind..

U might not believe me, but words dance for me. It's hard to explain, but a phrase, a paragraph from a book can invoke sharp emotion from me. It's like, a whole world appear out of nowhere..it's like magic. Singing are far more powerful than simple utter of sentence cos behind it lies the deep emotion of a human.

Some ppl shout with their voice, some with their presence. A person sometimes shouts louder than any other person in a crowded space, all u have to do is listen.

A human had only to learn how to enjoy the moment instead of wrecking it or taking it for granted, and life would've been made so much easier..

"Like a parrot, I call out your name.." - Parrot, Howl

Labels: Thoughts

posted by M.E. # 1:18 PM 0 Comments

Growth

Things change, and people change..or perhaps I'd say, ppl either grow-up or grow-out-of-it.

Growing up : a method with which how a person perceive the world, and how their view start to change as time goes.

Grow out of a particular habit or pattern : a way of doing things.

I always hear ppl say, "Well, ppl change.."

Thus, I never really liked the word change. Over used and impersonalised.

For me, change can be good, or bad, so I'd prefer to perceive change as growth except I only view it in a more positive term.

Improvement is another word I like with change, which is of course, another positive terms I like to look at life.

In perspective, I'm rather sarcastic when it comes to viewing good stuff that happens in real life..cos something ironic is bound to happen sooner or later..

But introspectively, I'm rather optimistic, I'd like to give every aspect benefit of the doubt.

Ppl change, mayb for all kinds of reasons, impact or due to other ppl.

I've always found it ironic that women fall in love so the guys would change for them, or viewing it from another diff point of view..hoping that they'd change for so call love.

Actually, after viewing so many cases of changes from a relationship's point of view, I'd have to say, ppl change, for all kinds of reasons; peer-pressure, timing, opportunity and in some cases, caring that turns into love.

Makes me wonder what is love.

I think it's a hope that's floating randomly, hoping somebody would pick it up in mid air or that cupid's arrow would strike a person accidentally.

And I hope one day, I can explain tis phenomenon better to my children, assuming of course they r not adopted pets or insects.

Have a nice day..on my behalf.

Labels: Opinions

posted by M.E. # 1:17 PM 0 Comments

Advice From A Mother To Her Son

Here's a story about a mother and her son.

Long ago, there was this little boy who grew up in a neighbourhood surrounded by poverty.

All his life, he had been exposed to hardship and never knowing it, cos he never knew any better.

One day, he saw a kid in school being fetched by the father's car to school, and he looked at his muddy shoes and hands, worn from sending newspaper during dawn and cycling from neighbourhood to neighbourhood before going to school.

When he got back, he asked his mum, "Mum, how come life is so tough on us?"

The mum asked him why he asked her such question, so he told her of what he saw. The difference of lifestyle and the simplicity that life can offer to a different kid from a different block of the street.

So she answered, "Son, we may live in a street surrounded by poverty, but we are rich from within because we have hands and feet that work to feed our mouths. You may not understand it now, but one day, you will."

So the son kept quiet and did his usual chores with no more questions, only an open mind to curiousity and earnesty in learning.

The son worked till after he graduated and worked some more for a store nearby. His diligence and eanesty earned him the reputation of the hardest working man on the street.

Not long later, after much toiling and saving, he opened a workshop and brought in many of his friends who didn't manage to graduate school and brought them to work. He kept himself as a hardworking but humble employer by constantly being a presence and be the last person to leave at the end of the day.

One day, he saw back the same kid from school whom made him questioned his mum some while back. The same kid is no bigger nor smaller compared to the first time he saw him, this time however he was paler in comparison and had a manservant who did everything he bidded.

Then the son looked at his calloused ridden hands and strong feet and looked up at the sky.

And he smiled.

Not long after he opened his third shop on the street and bringing more job opportunities to the neighbourhood, the son's beloved mother passed away and left him a will.

In grief, the son locked himself in his room, and opened the letter.

The content of the letter wrote as below;

"Dear my beloved son,

Many years have come and gone, and I hope that you've learnt the lesson that I've instilled on you ever since you were born.

Our family has always been born rich, but I never exposed you to the opposite side of poverty, because I fear your eyes may be blinded by hipocrisy and lies of the people who are more interested in your money than in you as a person.

It has always troubled me to think back if I should have let you live in the lifestyle that you are being born into, and it grieved me to finally come into a decision of leaving my home and bringing us to live here.

I've watched all my life to see my sisters and brothers squandered the family's heirloom to vices and temptations, and with my parents aging and nobody to build up the family's inheritance, I've finally made the decision of letting go of the life I'm accustomed to so I can give you something more important that any money can offer; your heart to exceed yourself.

That day when you came back and asked the question on why life is tough on our family, I hope that you have finally opened your eyes to the freedom that is being offered to us, who have nothing.

Because with nothing, only then you can build something.

Goodbye, my dearest son, and I hope that life will be kind to you from now on, since nothing can appear tough to you, any more.

Your loving Mother."

The son wept and grieved, then he built an empire worthy of his mother's approval.

Labels: Story

posted by M.E. # 1:16 PM 0 Comments

Learning Cooking 101

Yes, I'm learning how to cook for myself.

No, I'm not cutting down on salt, sugar, spices, keychup nor oyster sauce, thus after 6 months of self-initiated cooking, I'd hav to go for intensive cardio-diet and workout.

But at the moment, I'm happy.

I'm happy that things are falling into places.

I'm happy that I can cook nice meals for myself once a while though taste-wise, without company is kinda bland even though I've been generous on the seasonings.

Usually I'd be the one preparing the food, cooking's done by somebody else. Now that I hav to cook for myself..I'd hav to say I'd still prefer washing than cooking. Cooking is such an abnormal behaviour for me, I only do it when I'm upset with outside food.

I'm gonna go buy some kimchi sauce n eat like every hot-blooded korean ladies (aka a pot of rice + kimchi + dry seaweed). Koreans usually hav their kimchi with rice only, same as our nasi lemak actually, except kimchi's sweet.

I'm gonna learn how to cook beef with white wine, rice wine or grapes or other misc flavour added wine..I still havent decide.

Labels: Lesson

posted by M.E. # 1:15 PM 0 Comments

Happiest Moments In Life

Ppl ask me what's my happiest moments in time, I'd have to say..

When I'm not succumbing into temptations..

When I'm able to take a breather and open my heart and a gush of wind blowing my way..

When I'm able to go anywhere at anytime I want without having to think of time limit nor who's gonna be there..

When I do not need to report to anyone where I am at or do at the moment..except when I want to..

When I learn something new or see an old thing and got a new perspective..

When I feel spacious within me..

When I'm able to sleep peacefully without dreams at nite..

When I do not have to decide right away, but lingers on every aspect of the decisions I'm goin to take..

When I use my brain to good use or able to solve a puzzle..

When ppl around me laugh helplessly and hopelessly innocent or shyly..

When I dun hav a shoulder ache..

When I can wake up early and energetic in the morning and ready to take on the day with my head held high..

When ppl listen to what I say but doesn't take it too seriously, and reminded me the next time that they were listening..

When I do not need to heed to convention and do what ppl expect me to, cos I only do what I expect of myself..

When I know I've given my best or take a different path of decision and it works out for the best..

When things go my way..

When I wake up and know that breakfast is ready..

When I know somebody loves me selflessly..

When I love somebody helplessly without them knowing it..

When I hum softly to myself..that's when I know I'm happy.

Basically, when I'm free, I'm happiest.

Labels: Myself, Thoughts

posted by M.E. # 6:39 PM 0 Comments

Always On Your Side

By Sheryl Crow & Sting
Genre/Lang. : Adult Contemporary

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
Every now and then you come to mind
'Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But my demons and my angels reappeared
Leavin' only traces of the man you thought I'd be
Too afraid to hear the words I'd always feared
Leavin' you with only questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, never is it clear,
Try to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
When this isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wandering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

Suddenly I feel nostalgic..nostalgic: the word got stuck at the tip of my tongue, I keep on mumbling "Narcotic..narcystic..nar.."

I like tis song..it's a great wedding song, in my humble opinion..everything's stated clean and clear on each sentence, there's no repeatitive of chorus or watsoever, 2 words to describe it: realism and personal.

Wait, I take back my word, make it a wedding song and it's a bad omen for philandering spouses.

Anyway, my bad.

Labels: Lyrical

posted by M.E. # 9:34 AM 0 Comments

Here I Am

By Bryan Adams

Here I am - this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
Here I am - it's just me and you
And tonight we make our dreams come true

It's a new world - it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts
It's a new day - it's a new plan
I've been waiting for you
Here I am

Here we are - we've just begun
And after all this time - our time has come
Ya here we are - still goin' strong
Right here in the place where we belong

Chorus X1

Here I am - this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
Here I am - it's just me and you
And tonight we make our dreams come true

Chorus X2

Here I am - next to you
And suddenly the world is all brand new
Here I am - where I'm gonna stay
Now there's nothin standin in our way
Here I am - this is me

This song is another of those song that stick in ur head after u listened to it the first time, the second time..and still appears timeless.

"This is me..in the raw, narcisytic to a point.." - ngy

Labels: Lyrical

posted by M.E. # 9:22 AM 0 Comments

Of MVs and Songs and Movies

Some songs are suitable to be heard only, not seen.

Such is of the case with Hinder's mv Lips of An Angel.

Seen the mv; suck, sissy and unimpressive. Especially the part where the vocalist was singing onto the mic with one of his hands' amateur movements, makes me wanna punch him in the face for breaking watsoever macho image I have of him..*sheesh..

Lithium by Evanescence is a nice song with a drug-as-name-for-song-title. Makes me feel like they r trying to promote some kind of medical prescription for their listeners. After searching the definition online, what I got is that it really is a kind of chemical for treating manic depression, *sheesh, talk about promoting pills to the public. Makes me think wat other drugs they take during their free time cos apparently, they r starting to lose it when they name their latest album song hit as drug-as-name-for-song-title. Guess nowadays nobody can be original anymore. I'm only waiting for Amy to change profession from an alternative rock band singer to a solo fashion addict. *sigh..

300 is a chick flick, I dun care what other ppl say, it's should be categorised as a chick flick. Most of what's being portrayed is mere art and totally mind-bogglingly doesn't make sense..but it's a great movie commercialising on masochism and rippling abs..I appreaciate the sentiments the director is trying to put on the screen. I drool every moment of it, though I dun appreaciate the constant "Spartan..!!!" shoutings, it's broken-record non-impressive uncreative show of lacking in brain juices, but I like the movie. I never really finished reading that particular story though I've read some Greek mythologies, but the movie cinematography sure beats Troy and Gladiator in showcasting hard-abs. It's a turn-me-on kinda movie..I like it when the director got somebody non-commercialise and make it a household hit..I love Gerard Butler..*saliva-dripping..

I didn't know he did The Phantom in Phantom of The Opera, that movie was a flop for me..too lagging on the musical and dramatism, but his presence, the charisma..and he did Attila the Hun, all as the main character, makes me wonder how come he's always involved in movies that oozes lotsa male power. Other creditable characters he's played are; Dracula (Dracula 2000), Creedy (Reign of Fire), Terry Sheridan (Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life) and Beowulf (Beowulf & Grendel). One thing I gotta hand it to him; he's got guts for trying out macho artistic roles, not in the same category as Johnny Depp, but impressively daring nonetheless.

Enough about guts. blood and glory, move on to the next topic on my list, flop movies for year 2007; Road to Terabithia..I'm sure I got the spelling wrong somewhere.

What's with Terabithia, or Tarabithia..or anything with an -thia ending. Narnia sounded ok, weird at first, but ok..but Terabithia??? One got lost after the Terabit..the part where one pronounces -bit after Tera..actually it should stop there, it just sounded God-awful and another pitiful attempt at making a movie watch-worthy or in this case, commercially sound-worthy. Terabit..Terabith..Terabitha..Terabithhhhh..oh I give up. If one cant shout a movie's name out loud without losing a part of the pronunciation in mid-air, one should just avoid it till one's bored and numb to the skull, then one shuld try Epic Movie instead.

Content wise; dissappointing.

Razzie Award for year 2007; Terabit..Terabith..Terabitha..Terabithhhhh..oh I give up.

Labels: Opinions

posted by M.E. # 8:53 AM 0 Comments

Sometimes

Sometimes as u sit in ur cubical..

..u wish that the thunder outside ur office window would short circuit the electrical cords..

..that the office would be having black-out..

..that it would happen sooner rather than later..

..that ur boss would've to sigh aloud in his room to let u hear the frustration in his voice..

..that he'd hav to let u all go on a early work break cos nobody can do anything.

How u wish one day, the lightning strike upon ur office building.

Labels: Thoughts

posted by M.E. # 4:01 PM 0 Comments

Cutting Edge

Cleaned a bronze masterpiece I did..
One touch on the edge and my skin got stuck..
Letting go, I cant..

My skin, the bronze masterpiece slided on..
Breaking free, I tried..
Sliding, slicing, end of elbow escaped it did..
And blood oozed out..

Fainted I did..
Bloodied massacred hand, I woke up to..
Forget it I did not.

"It hurts to be on the cutting edge" - Anon

Labels: Mirror, Pain

posted by M.E. # 3:59 PM 0 Comments

Home Sweet Home

Finally, after weeks of hard toiling and patient stuff upheaval, the house is liveable.

But I am still far from the visualisation of how I want it to look like.

Patience, dear doppelganger.

Last week on 15th March 2007, a Thursday, I finished the grilling and installation of the curtains.

I did a mistake of not extimating the curtain rails before installing, thus my curtains are all sweeping floors.

But that's fine, cos if I make all my curtain railings a bit on the short side, nobody would've guessed I made a mistake in extimations. Once I put up the curtains, it'd look just like the effect I wanna achieve.

Got red for the living room and mine, gold for others. Cos I aint sure how guys actually think of red curtains, I rather like it, so dramatically contrast.

Now I'll just keep on accumulating the plants as time goes.

After I cleaned up the mess and make duplicates of the grilling door's key, I went out to meet my sis for dinner.

We wanted to go to Time Square for food, but ended up at Ampang for Korean food.

I wanted to go for Han Woo Ri, but twasnt opened till nite fall, so tried out another shop nearby. Ordered bibimbap and some spicy beef stew cooked in kimchi. Never thought I'd start to acquire a taste in Korean cuisine, but there it was, the acquired taste. Gonna bring my mum or sg sis to there one day, affordable and friendly boss who asked for us to come back again some time with a good discount.

Went to the korean mart to get that peach alcohol that caught my eye long some time ago, found that they no longer sell the particular drink there any more. Thought wanna try it out for the taste and for cooking matter, not that I cook, but hey, I might try out a beef cum peach cocktail dish. I might just surprise myself, but oh well..

Now my mind's occupied with occupying the other rooms and on how to decorate the walls and entrance door and my room.

I think I'm gonna paint something for the living hall, as well as my room, but only if mood and muse permitted. It's never easy getting those creative juices going, plus until the place is ready and I feel settled in, I dun think I'd do that just yet. It'd only make me nervous and agitated, all the inklings of a frustrated artiste..hoho.

Actually yesterday something really bad happened, actually these few days many bad guilt ridden stuff happened. All very esteem blowing, but I'm not gonna tok about it, cos like somebody told me, what's done, is done. No use crying over spilt milk. I'll just learn to get better.

Anyway, good news are gonna come in bundles, that's how I feel at the moment.

My sis got 10A's in her spm, now she's attending NS. She wanna try out for hair styling in the future, mum wants her to go for teaching or british council's courses, I'd want her to make her decisions that feels right for herself. Hope she'd gain positive experiences from the NS camp and how to socialise with ppl from different schools. I'm glad she's starting to understand how Rich Dad, Poor Dad concept works, and if she play her cards well, she'd be great without any of our help.

2007; I can feel the wind blowing my way..

Labels: House

posted by M.E. # 3:55 PM 0 Comments

Grilled

Whoohoo..

Finally the house is grilled and ready to rock!

I so love love LOVE the design. *sigh..

I purposely looked for the particular grill renovator so I can get that same particular effect, and now that it's ready, I can feel the volcanic eruptions at Bermuda Triangle shaking the very core of the earth.

Now I dun feel like a walking featherless chick with insecurity issues.

All the curtains are up, the kitchen's ready to sizzle, the washing machine ready to blare and I'm so ready to get more furniture for the bedroom.

All I need to do now is wait for the ppl to pour in.

It's great..life is great, especially more when u dreamt of ur first crush.

Makes me fall head over heels once again..

Labels: Myself, Rainbow

posted by M.E. # 3:54 PM 0 Comments

Chap Goh Meh 2007

Read from the newspaper that during chap goh meh, got ppl throwing bananas instead of oranges for the male gender last year.

I spent it eating lunch at colleague's house where they served us great food and hospitality.

We even had fortune hunting, then settled into chit chating mode and just plain laze around.

My coll's place is an absolute charm, feels like a holiday service appartment with beachside theme. It was marvelous.

She took up around 2 yrs to renovate the whole place. Plus the bf's renovator, thus she had lotsa help.

Got many ideas frm her.

Overall, I spent my chap goh meh in a vary lucid environment..*dreaming..

Labels: Childhood

posted by M.E. # 3:54 PM 0 Comments

Seasonal Holiday

Chinese New Year holiday at home I spent it with family and friends.

Caught up with old mates after a year of hard work and experience culturing.

At home with family, we spent it watching csi throughout the day, it was excruciatingly mind-numbing. Too much blood and gore.

Came back to a new house, whooohoooo!!!

Freedom and possession.

I love my life..*blissful-sigh..

Labels: ChineseNewYear

posted by M.E. # 3:53 PM 0 Comments

Happy Birthday, To Me

"A year older, a stage bolder.." - 1st March

That's my tag line for year 2007.

What's my wish for the new year?

More $$$ coming in and lotsa good luck all around.

Happy Birthday..To Me..

Labels: Anniversary

posted by M.E. # 3:53 PM 0 Comments

Echo

Came back frm swk yesternite.

Flight at 1.50 pm, the taxi came early, didnt hav time to spend enuf time w mum.

By the time reaches kl, it's already 4, after took the aerobus, I reached my house around 7pm.

Travelling sucks.

After having dinner at the old house, I shifted some of the stuff over to the new place.

By the time I finished, it was already nearing midnite.

And I'm so outta my skin that I just took bath, shifted stuff a lil and went to sleep with the tv on.

Around 2 am, I opened my eyes just to see the grey screen of the tv blarring at me, then shut off by itself.

Mind u, I didnt hav the controller with me then, havent found it amongst my stacks of boxes.

So drowsy and pooped, I tried to keep my eyes opened for any weird sounds and kept the radio blarring and the lights on.

I heard echo but tireness beat me to pulp, thus I can only lie there thinking while my body recuperate.

If I was at home now, if I feel scared shitless, I'd usually walked to my sister's bedroom carrying the pillow and sleep w em.

Here in kl, I keep on thinking, can I carry the pillow and blanket then walked across the parking lot to the old house and sleep at the living room if I'm really not up to sleeping alone at the new place?

Somehow, by the time I almost made up my mind, dawn broke.

I guess, it's time for me to get a big stick.

Labels: Thoughts

posted by M.E. # 3:52 PM 0 Comments

thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..

Shouts

Growth

Advice From A Mother To Her Son

Learning Cooking 101

Happiest Moments In Life

Always On Your Side

Here I Am

Of MVs and Songs and Movies

Sometimes

Cutting Edge

Home Sweet Home

Grilled

Chap Goh Meh 2007

Seasonal Holiday

Happy Birthday, To Me

Echo

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