thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..

What Makes A Person

What makes a person?

Is it their smell? Or interest? Or hobbies? Or obsessions?

Is it their character? Or how good they wear the clothes? How they carry the latest trend or accessories?

Is it their actions which defines them? Or their thoughts? Or maybe it's their desires and needs?

What makes a person? The very essence of who they are?

Perhaps it is the public's opinion of them during the first impression or one big mistake? Mayb it's how they portray themselves?

Could it be their believes and principles that defines them? Maybe it's the weather? Or mood? Or aura?

What makes a person? The decisions they make or the stuff that they read and believe in?

I dunno; I just feel like being freaky today.

Cheers!

Labels: Freaky

posted by M.E. # 3:32 PM 0 Comments

Little Wonders

Meet the Robinson by Rob Thomas

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don't mind
if it's me you need to turn to
we'll get by,
it's the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours

these little wonders still remain

U know, as I grow up, a lot of things redefine itself.

I was pissed and angry a few days back, then I was sad and depress, now, I feel like a whole load of burden just comes clean.

I used to intern in a company where I felt that questioning too much leads to being boxed to a corner and thus no growth can be done and no opportunities are given and I gotta prove myself over and over again cos some team lead are just plain chauvinist to a point or afraid the interns are trying to climb over their head, thus one gotta make their opinions and suggestions heard cos to grow, one hasn't got a choice; u just gotta box open a door.

In this company however, slowly, we are encouraged to talk what's on our mind, great if they really mean it, suck if they only say the right things now but take it all back when pressure of datelines make them eat their words. And I am the type of person tat takes somebody's word pretty literally under some circumstance.

I dun know, but in this society which I'm living at, I still hav to thread cautiously cos we never know if the seniors think we r trying to take over their work or just being plain cocky. Thus growth are done very carefully and at a very slow rate. Kinda sad cos I know I could've done or be more.

I like watching Meet the Robinson cos it's a feel good movie, it kinda reminds me of my dreams.

Not many ppl know tis, but I'm not made for this field I'm in right now, cos it makes my parents feel safe and assured, I stayed on. And because my upbringing never taught me how to quit, I persist on nails and teeth. There are days when I feel like gnawing off my workstation, but like wat my friends and mum told me, I'm just happy go-with lucky.

I guess I'm born lucky. But sometimes, even luck also cant help a person sitting on their bum waiting for gold to grow outta the earth. Labour while one waits, tat's what the wise always says.

One day, I will go back to my specialty where I'd feel most satisfied doing, regardless of the effort or time I put in.

Cos when u like doing something ; time ceased to exist.

Hope u hav found something that brings smiles to ur face, no matter wat u do or where u are.

Peace.

Labels: Lyrical, Mirror, Thoughts

posted by M.E. # 11:16 AM 0 Comments

Running Wild

I'd never watch the film given a choice, but after obsessing over this particular actor due to watching My Tutor Friend, I came across this genre tat I'd never choose given a choice, but chose over a whole other load of reason.

Yet today I went to search on it's interview and found myself mesmerised over the storyline, which after watching it, I had concluded it's the film where the actor I was obsessing over was dirtiest and ugliest in.

There are some films tat would never make into the collection of a typical peace loving person, nor make a box office, or hav a high tendency to flop at the cinema, but why of why does it never stops enticing movie stars to take it on?

The scripts of course.

After reading the interviews and knowing the reason the movie was based on and reading some of the scenes that's memorable for the actors or director, I'd hav to say, I'd watch the movie again, but from the director's point of view.

I love a movie tat questions on human lives; the paradigm, the paradox, the irony..actually, truthfully, I'd rather read than watch it cos watching requires rewinding as spoken words are too fast for my brain to process.

Running Wild is for me, about how a man under pressure from life, turn him into the person he is. The straight sharp as a needle prosecutor turn into the beast of the policeman after being forced into a corner, told from a director's point of view where both the persecutor and the policeman can both b the one and the same person..told from a different point in life.

I'd never discuss this movie with a friend cos it's too raw, some emotions are meant to be felt and understood than talked over a cup of coffee or a drink or two, it's just too overwhelming to be described with just mere words.

Who are to say we wont be the beast if being forced into a situation? When a gun's being pointed at our love one's forehead or when there's no more road to turn to or nobody to ask for help?

It's a tough choice to make, anyone can break..at the end of the day, the thing that separates the man from the beast is just a mere thread of sanity that binds both of the animals apart.

It's hard to be impartial in this matter cos everyone is vulnerable,

Another thing tat I discovered at my age right now, is that men can be very passionate, almost as passionate as women about love and comedy and family, only they can be really quiet about it, but shows it to their utmost being when their principles or love ones are being threathened.

It's odd when one grows up, one's point of view changes, and their outlook on life changes with them. Till today, I've had had a lot of my principles shattered or replaced due to a new emotion or feelings or senario tat presented themselves to me.

Also I've discovered that from wat the director mentioned bout how the character in the movie :
"The biggest reason why I liked Wong Kar-Wai because he kept writing those characters his own way, even if he didn't really need to. In 'Running Wild', Oh Jin-Woo and Jang Do-Young could act differently, that's not the only card they have to play. But they end up picking the wrong one. Be it Do-Young's girlfriend or Jin-Woo's wife, or even Gang-Jin's friend... they just keep giving them that card. They never think of staying close to their mother, never regretting it later. or think of something else to do and find another way. No, even faced with a more intelligent way out, they keep using that card, thinking only of themselves. Their greed, and nothing else." - Kim

I'd like to give my opinion on tat; some may call it fate or smtg..but some ppl exudes a particular emotion or aura that makes everyone surrounds them to react in a way tat points to a tragic ending. I dun know why, but some ppl no matter who they are with, they exude a particular emotion tat makes the ppl surrounding them to behave in a specific way, regardless if the ppl surrounding them is a stranger whom they just met or old friends who can react differently with diff groups of ppl..I guess some ppl are born with tragedy written in their soul. Kinda sad and melancholy, but it's a matter of choice really. I'd prefer a comedic tragic end, kinda puts everything in the irony point of view, where ppl wouldn't know wat to behave; cry or laugh or both.

Here I leave u with a segment of an interview :

Q : You said the kind of circumstances the characters have to deal with are similar to what you experienced. Really?
Kim : When I was young, I wanted to be a director so much, I'd sneak out and go to theaters in secret. Just like Oh Jin-Woo, back then I had that desire to find success quickly, and even when I started working as assistant director in ??? (Trio) and ?? (Calla) I was a workaholic. But the situation at home was getting worse, with my mother falling ill, and without knowing anything about it, I ended up losing her. That's when I started to feel doubts about life, very strongly. While I was doing what I always wanted, I left the person I cared about the most alone. After that situation, the only thing left in me was anger. I wanted to abandon everything and find vengeance. When I kept focusing on my work, without ever looking at what was happening at home, I looked like Oh Jin-Woo; and you could also say when I lost my mother, from that moment on I started looking at life like Jang Do-Young. That's why in life sometimes you're put in situations when you can't help but let that instinct explode, like a beast.

Interview on Running Wild

"The only difference between Yoo Gang-Jin and Oh Jin-Woo is one page." - Kim on the characters in Running Wild

Labels: Motivation, Movie, Thoughts

posted by M.E. # 11:13 AM 0 Comments

Pain-Mix-Suffering

*sigh..

Every PMS I harbour a unique set of emotion, mostly it's melancholy or snapping-ppl's-head-off, this month however, seems like I'm harbouring mostly nolstalgia, and most aint in the positive light.

I need to avoid seeing ppl cos I'm in a shakey mess, just sitting here typing this also tears are threatening to fall. I'm feeling overwhelmed with sad emotions right now. Listening to Corrine's Butterfly aint helping either.

PMS, who needs em anyway. God must be joking.

Labels: Poignance

posted by M.E. # 10:24 AM 0 Comments

Curls No More

I've chopped off all my slinky curls and replace it with a punky hairstyle.

Does it look nice on me?

Not really, cos I still got tat innocent look.

Why????

I've been wanting to change my image..but then I realise, some habits just die hard.

*sigh..guess I hav to go back to old fashion devilish smirk.

Labels: Daily

posted by M.E. # 6:30 PM 0 Comments

Hot

I'm getting sick again..and my blood count aint enuf cos my eyes linings are pale and I feel pale and hot and lifeless somehow and body ache. Aneamic perhaps, cos my blood's bright red and though I've been eating pork like nobody's business, I still feel like half of me is missing. And my coll's been noticing my alabaster complexion that I'd hav to thank maybelline for temporary camouflage. That doesn't mean I still don't feel like a walking corpse.

All cos these couple of days the electricity had been misbehaving and fused out in the middle of the nite; first nite was around 11 smtg, the kids living above my condo had been singing to curb their boredom. I had to curb their enthusiasm before they hit the high note and asked them to go to bed asap or else. They couldn't scramble fast enuf to get outta the balcony. I woke up the next day drenched in my own sweat and I had to wake another house mate so I could inform him that the maintenance guys are coming over to fix the hollow tiles.

After sms and getting no reply, I knocked on the door only to hear him scrambling to his feet and buckling up his pants. I was imagining all sorts seeing that his gf's been around lately, but as he came out and no gf in sight, I'd hav to assume the no-electricity-induced heat got to him instead. Basically, I became his alarm clock as he scrambled to wash up and out the door before I could even wave goodbye.

Then I spent the whole day waiting as the maintenance guys work their magic on the tiles and at the end of the day, their fairy dust just enuf to fix a small portion. What a waste of my time cos I couldve done smtg productive with my leave.

The second blackout was yesterday nite when csi miami was on, bloody, after that I kinda gave up and went to sleep. It was a pretty good attempt since there were some monkeys on the loose and running amok and the kids living above my condo started their singing again. I emphasized and let them while I dozed off, only to be awaken by some monkeys not knowing when to shut up, luckily the electricity went back on just in time and the monkeys gave a last whoop and went back to their cages.

I was fortunate enuf to sample csi vegas before dozing off from the serenenity and wind-comfort of the swinging fan.

Now I'm feeling kinda sickly.

This reminds me of the time when I ate some beef and felt like I was drenched in sweat while uncomfortably covered in silk.

Yes, I'm sick, and I want my mummy.

Labels: Daily

posted by M.E. # 6:28 PM 0 Comments

Forever First Day

"..the scent lingers, who left the room..? I wonder.." - Anon

Premier Jour, my personal fragrance choice.

I found it one day as I was passing by some fragrance counter and as I tried it on my wrist, left to do some shopping.

At the end of the day, I love the lingering scent so well cos it complements my skin scent too well; not empowering and at the same time, comfortably and simply feminine.

I've learnt tat buying perfume, one shouldn't buy the large bottle cos Malaysian climate doesn't adhere well to alcoholic base, thus in time, reduces the scent to sweet musk.

Plus, I love the frosted glass bottle, and the color of it that makes it almost skinlike, like morning skin touched by dew. Actually, the color makes a great evening dress; understatedly angelic yet womanly. It used the shrink-sleeve labels or a sleeve label makes the graphics on the primary bottle appear hazy, as if they are under water. Hey, watever sells, rite?

There are many a definition of what the scent represents when the creators visionalised it at first,
..Premier Jour captures the true essence of woman by combining both the angelic and devilish sides of woman's personality to create a feeling of calm femininity..fresh, flowery fragrance, ..sensuality of skin..to create an infinitely seductive allure; but the very definition which says The First Day, reminded me of the album which I love, Forever First Day by Lee Hom. Both represents a new beginning, a start, an adventure..except for Lee Hom's album it's kinda mellow cos the song is actually for an ex-gf of his where he mentioned that he'd hoped for a forever first day with her when they r together..well..to each his n her own definition..

Anyway, if u r interested to find ur own signature scent, my advice, try it on for a day on the wrist, if at the end of the day when u r tired and exhausted and ur feet kinda feel like they wanna fall off anytime soon and yet u still like the smell, purchase it.

Perfume for me is a personal pleasure, cos most of the time, u r enjoying it for urself. Most ppl don't like perfume cos it's like choking on their nostrils. I like to wear it on the wrists on days where I feel beat, cos it's uplifting and at the same time, puts a smile on me not unlike Mona Lisa; a secret within.

Aint hurt to try, rite? Caprice on carpe diem..

Hav a smell-good day..on my behalf.

Labels: Daily

posted by M.E. # 5:27 PM 0 Comments

thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..

What Makes A Person

Little Wonders

Running Wild

Pain-Mix-Suffering

Curls No More

Hot

Forever First Day

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