thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..

Antagonist

He thought today there were many people at the cafe by the pond.
She thought today was rather a nice day.

He saw her sitting by the tree, drawing a painting. He thought she looked rather calm.
She concentrated on the painting, as inner turmoil sucked up her soul.

He saw her picked up the delicate brush, perhaps to draw the birds flying above the blue sky.
She picked up the smallest brush, dipped it in green, and tried to cover a speck of mistake in her painting.

He saw how skillful she painted the leaves and lotus smeared across the pond, thinking she must really be a lover of nature.
She blamed herself for not finishing her assignment a little earlier, how landscape drawing was not her forte, how she was goin to fail her course.

He wished he could be like her, so carefree, so passionate about something as he looked at the laptop on his table, thinking he's got loads of report to sift through before the night was over.
She wished she'd just win a million bucks, then she would never have to pick up another paint brush again, how she'd never needed to live other people's expectations.

He looked back at her for one last glance, and saw her flicking her hair in the soft wind.
She felt irritated, sweaty and wished the rain would come later, as first sprinkle of rain fell upon her.

He saw she picked up her sketches and drawings as she rushed towards the shade. He thought she was a rather pretty little thing.
She looked up and saw a guy looking at her as she entered the cafe with other people. As she pulled her collar a little bit higher, she thought he was rather old.

"Not one great mind is alike; not one first impression is the same." - Anon

Labels: Story

posted by M.E. # 7:26 PM 0 Comments

Nothing (Left) To Lose

Starting from a week ago, I've been relocated to a new team in my company because my team lead has problem working with me.

I had the warning a few weeks back and I've tried ammending, but I guess at the end of the day, ppl keep on telling me that sometimes, it's just a matter of characters. So I'll take it tat he's got issues, not me, cos I didn't know at all after working w him for more than a yr and he's never talked to me about my weaknesses, thus never given me a chance to ammend it, instead he poured everything out during my appraisal and that kinda suck. The suckier thing is, from what I gather, he couldn't come up with better complains that though I've improved, I'm better in the other team cos I can do better presentation, that I've got talent..bla bla bla..crap I tell u. Somehow, it also shows to me his level of thinking; unfit for a team lead. *Bah..waste my loyalty to him all these while..asshole. In my opinion, he just cant handle me cos I'm too hot..not in the physical term, but in terms of attitude; slightly ambitious, a bit competitive and very much confident.

Why change myself to fit into somebody else's image? It just doesn't make sense, if God would wanna make us all the same, he'd hav done so instead of bestowing us with the gift of freedom of choice and making our own mistakes n live with it. If we are all built the same, we'd hav all lived with any mistake one of us did.

Farney, makes me wanna wrap his head and shove it into the toilet bowl.

But had a talk w my hr, and she was pretty cool for being an oddball herself. She seems to hav a lot of fun with herself and never judges other ppl for being different. And I kinda enjoy that.

Plus she mentioned I got more chance for improvement and going up the ladder. I dun really care bout the ladder as long as I'm given more work, cos I know I suck at logic, so my strengths lie in experience and hardwork. And I cant stand being taken for a joke when it comes to work. I may b on the beginner level compared to the team leads, but heck, give me a chance to do smtg man, instead of passing me little peanuts tat can barely cover my belly, u know? I'm just hungry for more..

I'd like to make a change to my work by putting more fun into it. Try to change the approach a bit. Since by now, I've got nothing to lose.

Labels: Determination

posted by M.E. # 11:47 AM 0 Comments

Lesson "I"

I've learnt that even when my heart burns with determination..life will put me down.

I've learnt that even when I say yes..life will say no to me.

I've learnt that even when I am set and ready to go..life will make me wait.

I've learnt that when I learnt to give up..life told me not yet.

I've learnt that sometimes ppl suck and hav bad days..that I can avoid being a victim.

I've learnt to accept that I can be right..and stand by it.

I've learnt that life suck..and life moves on.

I've learnt that when I know nothing, ppl laugh at me..but that's ok..cos I never forget a lesson.

I've learnt that when I bruise my knees, my heart, my butt, my pride..it makes me grow into a better person cos I've been at the end of the stick.

I've learnt that life is going to be unfair to me..that I gotta stand up for myself..one way or another..one day or the other.

I've learnt that no matter how hard the stones life is going to throw at me..all I gotta do is hang on a little bit longer..bite the nails a lil bit harder..and clenched my teeth till hell breaks loose.

"I want to stand for morals and ethics and have integrity within this position and not sell out how I was raised" - Missy Peregrym

"Do not be afraid, ever, of approaching the talent you want in your film. Because actors at any level want to be in front of the camera, that's what we're built to do. Actors want to act. So, if we're free, we have the time, and you have a project that is a role that we haven't played before, or it's written in a witty way, or tells a story that we want to be a part of, we'll do it! And the best thing is to have your pitch. If you have no money but you've got a lot of heart, pitch the hell out of it! And, if you have a good story in your head, don't let it get over-processed by too many decision makers. Now, of course, that's what the studio system is all about [laughs], but do your darndest to stay true to your vision." - Advice for budding Indie film makers by Doug Jones (I), An Outstanding-Actor-Who-Took-Delight-In-Weird-Characters

Labels: Lesson

posted by M.E. # 5:44 PM 0 Comments

Stick It

I got this movie called "Stick It" which is bout a rebellious has-been gymnast who walked out on a national competition.

The story slowly revealed why she walked out and how she walked back in.

It felt amateurish, but rather a good waste of time.

I loved how the main character looked like; strong, athletic, rock-star quality, unpretending. Missy Peregrym mayb new, but she was one heck of a presence on the screen, actually, she looked like young Hilary Swank.

Twas a good movie, watch it.

Labels: Movie

posted by M.E. # 5:01 PM 0 Comments

Brakes

I've been told that I was too fast..

At the time, it was my colleague who told me to slow down cos she couldn't see what I was coding.

Another time, another colleague told me that I copied and pasted the code too fast for him to follow.

Now, I'm walking on high heels with sounds of brakes on my every step.

I've been told I'm too fast..but I still feel like I am stationary.

What's wrong with me?!?

Labels: Daily

posted by M.E. # 4:41 PM 0 Comments

Pointless..and Out of Road.

I looked left..I looked right..

I blinked..and saw shadows beckoned me from afar..

I looked back..and saw myself waving..from a different timeline..

She looked young..carefree..so full of life..

I looked at my hands..callused and dirty..my hair dripping with sweat.

My eyes heavy..my heart's heavy..as I gasped for breath..

I looked front..and I saw a flicker of light.

I summoned my last strength..and shifted my foot..forward.

Labels: Self-Mock

posted by M.E. # 4:39 PM 0 Comments