thou shalt not conform when thou could blaze thy own path..
Latest Fetish
Yea, I'm down to my latest fetish.
This month, and the upcoming months, I'm going to look for reasonably priced practical non-lala handbag for my mum and some nice shirts or surfer pants for my dad.
You heard me, bag and surfer pants.
So, my mind is thinking, shiny or cumpled leather handbag for my mum.
It's practical, not black and at the same time, funky with any clothes regardless of color scheme.
Surfer pants..black, less design but comfortable enuf to act as boxer.
Yea..aiming aiming..
Shopping is tough, cos I dun like other ppl's taste when I buy stuff for em but I'd like to take their taste into consideration.
Was on shopping spree yesterday cos I needed to get some working clothes for a sis.
My mum's got great taste, but twas too practical that in a practical working environment such as teaching, her taste would literally drive my sis into spinsterhood.
So, being an un-practical sister, I volunteered to become my sis's stylist.
Only to discover that she's got really practical sense and couldnt get used to the style I proposed, which is something youthful and stylish, that when ppl sees her wearing it, they wouldnt imagined her in the educational industry.
I was aiming for young punk, but she'd ruined it.
So, frustrated and getting a might bored, I got handbags for each of us.
A gold one for my experimenting sister, a light coral-pink for my practical sister and one for me.
*sigh..shopping is tough.
PS : I need to window-shop more so I can re-style my sisters' taste.
Bought Yamakasi I and II, not japanese movies, both without Belle acting in it. It gives a rough idea of what pk does, but not it's true essence.
Traceurs dont just become spidermen, jump from buildings to buildings (one can view this from Jump London and other jumps), doing acrobats or tricks or to use their strength to do lawless deeds. Twas more zen and self-less (other than health) purpose.
If one wants to see overall what pk does, one can view it from the movie Banlieue 13 aka B-13. It's got some impressive moves, too short to comprehend until one keeps on rewinding, then only one comprehends the physique requires.
For me, pk is alike extreme sports, with hazy guidelines. There's a few terminologies like Équilibre, Saut de chat and more, but the movement itself is still up for personal interpretation. It's an elegant sport in terms of movements (if one does it right) and a free form that's undefinable cos it's still in it's creative forms.
The great thing bout the sport is it's stamina building and discipline/focus induced, not competitive and has so much potential, the bad thing is the original team members has so much dispute over it's definitions and profitability that there's no strong sense of definable guidelines for ppl who are interested in it.
When one day pk becomes a routine games that youngsters play, I can imagine a whole lotta monkeys hanging from a concrete jungle to another.
But Christmas this year has been a blast for me, cos all my family members are here.
Christmas for my family is not like everybody else.
My family likes to spend it..hibernating.
Driving for 15 minutes will induce talks like "How far is the place? More than 15 minutes? Let's go home.."
Mind I add, good food will take longer drives, but it's worth it. But some people just dont get it.
So, if one happens to drop by our house, they'd see a couple lifeless bodies sprawled on the living room, drooling away.
Also, my mum's developed a craving for fuyuk-imai, a type of sweetened soup dessert that's very happening in west Malaysia.
She and my sis would hav the whole pot to themselves and finished it off in a day.
My dad on the other hand, loves to go to the morning markets. Nobody's more enthusiastic than my dad when it comes to going to the morning markets. He'd personally request it, and he doesnt request much.
Then he'd cook up a frenzy, morning and noon, high tea and low tea, dinner and supper.
My sisters and I would endlessly gorge ourselves while complaining "So full..so full..", talking and eating at the same time. Pigs.
Yesterday I sent off my parents to the Central station, where both of em took a different planes and at different time.
I googled him up cos somebody mentioned that he's so much better than Hady, so I gotta listen before commenting.
And, yea, actually it's true, Taufik's got a versatibility that's clear and resonant.
Hady's look is more commercial-able and babe-magnet, but Taufik's voice, tat's something else.
One gotta listen to his version of Me and Mrs Jones at youtube during the Singapore Idol finale and get knocked outta their breath.
Sexy and youthful, that's my verdict, for that particular song.
In his album Blessing, he's got tat version too, but twas too clean and lacked the smooth operator sound compared to youtube's.
In comparison to Taufik's Blessing and Hady's Hady Mirza, there's a lack of diversity and a certain something in the latter's voice. But Hady did a better rendition of Berserah compared to Taufik.
Afternoon, I fell asleep in the living room It's one of those moments when everything is so clear before the truth goes back into hidding I wanna decide cause it's worth deciding to work on finding something more than fear It takes so much out of me to pretend tell me now tell me how make amends
Maybe I need to see the daylight live beyond the half life don't you see i'm breaking down O lately.. something here don't feel right this is just a half life is there really no escape, no escape from time of any kind
I keep trying to understand this thing and that thing my fellow man I guess I'll let you know when I figure it out I don't mind a few mysteries they can stay that away It's fine by me but you are another mystery I am missing It takes too much out of me to pretend
c'mon lets fall in love....... again
cause lately, something here don't feel right this is just a half life without you i am breaking down O, wake me I wanna see the day light save me from this half life let you and I escape escape from time
Really like the title for this song. Songs bout half life..
Maybe I need to see the daylight live beyond the half life don't you see i'm breaking down O lately.. something here don't feel right this is just a half life is there really no escape, no escape from time of any kind
Living beyond a half life..thinking when the alarm's gonna go off..
Is it just me who crave to get out of this prozac mind-bogging pain-induced vice-overload nation..
"One last kiss.. One last touch.. One last tender moment between us.."
The music crooned on.
It was a good night; the place was crowded, the crowd was happening, the dance floor was booked.
He sat on the edge of the velvet three-seater, his crowd consisting of nobody in particular, merely muses of all sorts.
He hummed a little tune he made up, remixing again and again until he got the right rhythm. Never needing to record anything down cos he's got great memory when it comes to music, and like wat it was, it was a good night.
He reached across the table, held onto her hand, and said while the music tingled his senses, "Why don't you consider me, baby.."
A half grin lingered on his face, she looked around and pulled a stranger out of the dark, "Cos I'm engaged to him, baby.." and murmured a thank you in the stranger's ear.
They both smiled across the room, his hands still hold onto hers. They both knew it was the music, leading them on.
Both knew naught what the morrow might brings, just holding onto the simple understanding of now, now that counts.
Two strangers holding onto the night.
♣
He went home with the tune in his head.
He cant wipe off that silly grin from his face; giddy with inspiration for his next song.
He self-consciously picked a song from his customised jukebox.
"So tonight I really wanna feel you grooving.. Move our body close to me.. I know it's where you wanna be.. On me.."
He went to the balcony, leaning towards the edge as the night wore out and changed into dawn.
He should feel weary to the bone, but the memory of a certain smile lingered, along with previous night's smell of promises.
It was a good night.
♣
"When you believe in things that you don't understand, Then you suffer.."
The radio mocked him.
He couldnt stop thinking of the smile.
He wished he could just shut off the thoughts, but it continued to sneak in.
He went back to the club again that night.
It was the usual mixture of crowds; strange faces holding sweet promises as the music played on.
But she wasnt there.
He hoped he could twirled another tune from the air, but it didnt work.
He wished he could remember just how to meet her again, but there's no number or familiar faces.
He went back earlier than usual, the music sounded far away.
♣
"I’ve been sitting here.. All alone in my home.. And I’ve been thinking, thinking just.."
The night was slow.
There's no music in the air, the words merely appeared in his mind.
Music is a part of his life, but for the life of him, he suddenly couldnt remember how to call it out of the blue.
It's been a week.
He shouldnt bring up hope of seeing her again.
But he couldnt just give up.
Grabbing a jacket on his way out, he drove to the club again, crossing his fingers.
Please be there.
♣
The night was young.
The music was making her restless.
Her usual crowd had yet to arrive.
She vowed to leave in five minutes if they didnt arrive.
Then she saw him walking thru the door.
The same guy who made her smile the other day with their mild flirtation.
She hoped he saw her.
He did.
Grinning across the room, he walked towards her.
She could hear him crooning a song..
"Whatever you want to do.. It's alright with me.. You make me feel so brand new.."
She made a little space and said "Hi.."
He slipped in beside her and replied back "Hiya back.."
She hoped her friends would take their time.
He said a little prayer and thanked the higher power for making the decision of coming over tonite.
They moved against the music till dawn and it was muse all the way.
I love his portrayal in Dil Chahta Hai for the upbeat and fresh approach that it represented. Also the diverse emotional range that he portrayed from a scene where he acted the eternal goof while proposing to a girl and then reenact the same proposal scene, with the same girl, using a mature approach and certain emotional intensity that threatens to burst, like a dam actually.
Ah..
Talking bout sizzling men never fails to perk up my melancholy mood.
Aamir Khan, one of the powerful Khans of India.
Muslim, family man, controversially quiet; two out of three my favourite traits in a movie star.
Who'd have thought the once cute guy would one day be one of the most sought after actor and a perfectionist in his art.
Saw the newspaper and read bout his latest movie; Taare Zameen Par with tag line "Every child is special".
I'd need to get Dil Chahta Hai and Taare Zameen Par for this holiday, along with American Psycho, National Treasure 1 and 2, Andre Bocelli's Tuscana, Enchanted and I Am Legend, MIB The Series..
Hearing the winning of Singapore Idol as the next Asian Idol, kinda makes me dejavu of another idol.
Hady's song Berserah hit a high note that's not unlike Nita's Berhenti Berharap.
Both put their emotion on the high notes and it expanded. Both are so short but memorable that it aches.
I guess, some songs, no matter how mediocre the lyrics are, when sang with the right emotion will never fail to tug a string.
Actually I was opting for Jac for her powerful voice, but hearing the rest, it was a pretty tough competition. Then, I was tired of Jac's voice cos there's no diversion, mere powerhouse on high. Plus, I heard it cracked on some of her shows on tv.
Guess idols are a whole package thing, it's undeniable some are talented, but the end of the day, the humble wins.
Congrats, Hady, for being real.
PS : Thank God for youtube, else I wouldnt be able to scratch my itch for hearing live-recorded Nita's Berhenti Berharap, Daniel's Angin Malam and Hady's Berserah. All an idol need is a moment to burst their heart out on a song and it will last.
"The fear of life is the fear of a coward. To take that life is the deed of a coward. To save and love that life is the act of a hero." - Lyndsay Roscoe
"It doesn't matter how many say it cannot be done or how many people have tried it before; it's important to realize that whatever you're doing, it's your first attempt at it." - Wally Amos
"It is not intelligence alone that brings success, but also the drive to succeed, the commitment to work hard, and the courage to believe in yourself. Know that your dreams must come from your heart's deepest desires. Only then will the barriers come down before you. To know your heart, you must know yourself. You are who you decide to be, not who other people decide for you to be. Be noble. Stand on the higher ground. Create your life and then go out and live it." - Anon
"The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it." - John Ruskin
"Sometimes someone says something really small, and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart." - Angela Chase (Claire Danes), My So-Called Life
"Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows fall behind you." - Maori Proverb
"If you want it and you dream about it...there's nothing that's going to stop you." - Chris Witty
"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not." - Oprah Winfrey
"Keep in mind that part of growing up is learning how to deal with difficult issues, and the benefits can be great if you have the courage to ask for help. Human beings are not designed to go through life alone. No one has to bear the burden of the tough times all by themselves." - Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Kimberly Kirberger
Wish life is as simple as it used to be, not succumbed to complexity of human flaws.
Actually, I got a really nice dress for the nite event, like I mentioned in my previous post, everybody dressed down for the event.
Plus, I'm the usher. The dress makes me too sexy to be an usher at a restaurant, plus my married friends are expecting my to dress up to attract singles.
That's the difference in thinking between married ppl and singles; singles actually do dress up for themselves.
So I chose a happy colored but dressed-down dress for that, hoping I'd look happier than I felt. It worked.
Being the usher for the nite has got a few perks. I get to look at the ppl who arrived first. Not too many nice looking couples came in, but it was fun watching em anyway.
After the reception counter's been closed, we counted the angpows and a sister went to pay so the wedded couples do not need to carry hefty amound of cash around.
It was a dine-filling nite, I've forgotten some of the menus; an initial plateful of varieties, mushrooms with broccoli, fish, prawns, sharkfin, rice and others.
I quit after a few plates, too full to continue. Plus the food's routine, I'd still prefer sarawakian style of wedding meals, not much on presentation, more on taste.
Saw an old friend there, didnt chat much, figured there's not much to chat. He's still a teaser.
So, I came back exhausted, time stated 11.30pm, I washed, saw Singapore idol the Asian idol, heard my sis saying "Why is he so perfect?" and dozed off.
Blinked, and it was the next morning.
Darn.
* not biological sisters, more like brides maids without the dress
Last weekend I spent it for a friend's wedding event.
I bought a really nice red dress for the event, but after much consideration, decided it wasnt suitable for the nite. Also seems like everyone dressed-down cos it was held at a restaurant.
So, on saturday I spent it at a hotel at curve while we gals decide on what to do on the next day.
At the hotel, a friend brought a blown-up mattress, fearing for the worse; not enuf mattress space to go around for 5 gals.
So we actually spent quite a while blowing up the mattress, not using our mouths mind you, but using the small little pump that didnt seem to improve any bit after 2 hrs pumping.
After the friend called up asking for instructions only we really get some work done.
So, the bride who was on the couch doing some mask treatment woke up feeling uncomfortable made us reshift our whole sleeping post.
I was supposedly sleeping on the bed with another 2 galpals, ended up on the mattress with a galpal.
Fearing for waking up next morning with a punctured mattress, I vowed to sleep still till the cock crowed.
So, I closed my eyes, only to open them to the next morning alarm. The sleep felt like a blink. Perhaps it had to do with us talking till 1.30 in the morning and waking up at 5am later.
So, preparing ourselves with the usual rituals; clean up, bath, dress up, make up for all 4 gals while the bride (who woke up way earlier to prepare for the make up stylist and cameraman to appear beside wearing all the neccessities like leggings and stick-on-bra), time flew and before we know it, the bride's family arrived. It was 7am in the morning.
Camwhoring happened then, followed by a call from the groom.
Specifically telling the bride not to tell the groom where's the room number was, I went down as representative to bring the groom's entourage.
All I can say is the sisterly act* where we are supposedly making the groom worked for the bride was too short and too hasty as we were rushing for time. Everybody needed to check out of the hotel by 8am.
So, pining for time-lapse, we played the prioritised game.
First, eating a bunch of bananas by the groom to signify giving birth the baby boys (sexist, I know).
Secondly, hanging two milk bottles while 2 ppl frm the groom's entourage sucked it dry without using their hands. They cheated by drinking it straight from the unlidded tops.
Thirdly, the groom gotta choose the correct room key from a bunch of ang pows. He got it right the second time.
So, directing the groom to the correct room, we asked him to read a mock-agreement in cantonese (which he sucks at) and signed it.
After he slipped the ang pow beneath the door, another sister in the room will decide whether to open the door or not for the groom to fetch the bride.
We let if off easy cos time's up.
Life sux, but we moved on.
Then we gals gotta drive ourselves to the house of the groom cos most of the cars from the entourage were full, which is ungentlemanly.
But the most ungentleman act is when I followed the cars as I didnt know the way, and they didnt even consider if I caught up with them or not. I gt called them up to slow down.
Life sux, but we moved on.
So, arriving there, we sat resting our poor feet while the bride and groom did the ritual of serving teas in accordance to the correct generation gap.
Then the sisters were urged to take photos at the couple's room. I saw a pink baby basin with an angpow thrown into the bottom, and I saw many of the couple's wedding photos all over the place, which for me is an overkill.
After the whole camwhoring subsided, we went downstairs for the bouquet throwing/catching ceremony.
Then we went back for a rest before going for the dinner at nite.
* not biological sisters, more like brides maids without the dress
Last weekend I went for a friend's wedding. And we were even sticking around till the bouquet throwing/catching ceremony.
I for one, never like catching any bouquet. One likes flower, one go buy, one dont go to wedding ceremonies and catch em.
So, being a good sport and hoping the ritual would be over fast, I quickly took a good spot where I know for certain I wont be catching anything.
And I saw only another gal standing beside me.
So I looked at her, and she looked at me, and I said, "Hey, it's either you or me (who caught the flower)".
The chance was pretty high, like 50-50. It made me broke a sweat.
Then the other single sisters took their places with us, which makes me less hemorraging.
I looked around, hey, there's only like 5 gals standing!
And I thought that I would have a good spot, apparently since there's 5 of us only, we stood in one fine line like akin to those prisoners of war standing before the firing guards.
Breaking a sweat as the chance was still pretty high, like 20% of either one of us catching the bouquet, I made sure I was standing at a spot where there's less percentage of catching one unless it's being thrown intentionally straight at me.
While the bouquet flew in the air, I heard myself going "Aaaah!" like the rest of the gals, except it wasnt a happy excited I-m-gonna-catch-it "Aaaah!", it was actually more of a horror I-really-dont-want-to-catch-it "Aaaah!".
Analysing the position of the bouquet in the air, I said to my friend, "Zin, catch!" which she did but let go.
I swore we laughed for a while contemplating not catching the flower, as other gal picked the flower from the ground and everyone decided who actually did caught it, I said, "Zin, you touched it. It's urs."
Hooray went into the air, everyone congratulated her, as she dazed her way thru.
Reality wise, perhaps it wasnt that funny for the person who caught it, but in my mind, that's what stuck.
My friend was bouquet-ed.
We will laugh off this event next year, or we will congratulate her on her wedding day, who knows.
Thought of getting sharp blue, but I saw an ex-coll getting a black dress and it looked so good I couldnt resist getting one of similar design but not black.
It's got lots of black mock jewels on the round neck and kinda bare back. Glamourous on my friend cos she got the black one, sexy for me cos I got the red one..kaka..I'm so gonna sizzle the dance floor with it, haha..
Now I will go for a wedding event with it and a LRD event (Little Red Dress) with it before retiring it to the corner of my cupboard.
I'm planning to spend the joyful peacefilling day with my family. Also to meet some long lost friends (I've became a bloody Ibiza!)
This weekend my mum's coming over to KL again for Matrons' Orientation Week. She'll be available for us after 19th Dec.
I'd love to bring her shopping with my newly repaired car and newly repaired driving attitude next week.
This weekend I'm going off on another sisterly act for a friend's wedding.
Going off to Royale Bintang and stay with some friends, just spending the few days being girls and b*tch bout our daily lives, trying to catch up.
Then the next day, preparing for her wedding luncheon at some restaurant near Midvalley.
I still havent decided on the dress to wear.
Christmas 2007 is coming, and it's been like for 2 yrs I've lived in a limbo where I let my autopilot take over.
I was never consciously aware that I've been on autopilot until I "woke" up one day and think what I've been doing previously.
Being a conscious b*tch does take a toll; I'm usually ironic and depress when "awake". Also angry.
This year, I hope I've toned down on my angst (leftover marks from my adolescent world) and become a better self-improving individual who's not afraid to speak her mind (but with lower octave).
It's amazing that whenever ppl ask me what I've been doing lately, I'd answer, "I've been to different hotels in KL lately" then greeted with silence and chuckles.
Literally, it's true.
My mum's been in KL for so many times, I'd categorised her as a tourist-dweller, meaning she's not local but she can easily convert to one already.
She's been having seminars, courses, orientations and other events at the many hotels of KL.
Also my friends been staying at some that I'd arrange picking them up from the hotels itself.
So I'd know the route to a few of the hotels below:
Mum stayed @ Shangri-La, Crown Princess, Concorde, Flamingo, Le Meridien
Sis bf stayed @ ParkRoyal
Program @ One World, Golden Palace
Friends stayed or partied @ Trader (with Sky Bar), Pan Global (with Luna Bar), Eastin (with Rush)
Wedding @ Royale Bintang,
Fetched friends to Berjaya Times Square Hotel, De Palma,
Ballroom event @ Renaissance
Farewell @ Hotel Nikko
LBD @ Ascott (with Sevenatenine)
Well, living in hotels sure are fun, but nothing beats the feeling of waking up at the same messy place every morning and knowing exactly where one is.