Bootilicious Female On The Loose

New Blog

2008-06-30T22:52:00.000+08:00

Hi all,

Will revert all my new articles to new blog.

26 june 2008, thursday

2008-06-26T17:18:00.001+08:00

was reading up some articles by gong woo and how he was still in the army enlistment till next year of 2009.
♣

as well as watching his photobook I like Yoo.
♣

and listening to him singing during promotion of I like Yoo in japan in 2008.
♣

the combination of all those makes me daydream.

in my daydream, i was pondering over my white office table with all the pictures sprawled over.

i had a wide space set out as a temporary studio in the living room as the white boards i used for lighting lie around recklessly.

i was temping by taking photobooks of ppl who are interested to immortalise their still photos with captions of their quirks, likes and dislikes, sort of like a 5 min fame thing immobilised on a piece of book.

i couldnt decide what to do with the photos cause i've been using the same design for the books and i wanted a fresh outlook for it.

so pondering, i went for a run in the park where i always run when i'm out of ideas, and i tot today, i'd just take a different route and run towards a different neighbourhood blocks.

as i run, i gotten tired cause i havent slept overnite pondering if my current creativity juice is all there's left of me, and as an artist, one should keep on trying out different perspective so the ideas would always be fresh.

so that everytime i look back at the pictures, i'd be reminded of the feelings and muse i used that time.

i've so far mastered the lighting and portrait photo taking, but i havent mastered the angle cos every angle makes me mesmerised and forgot bout the time, thus i need to get out of that framework and try to up my standards so i'd get the job done fast.

sometimes i think, 24 hrs a day is not enough.

each time i had a new assignment, i'd be excited bout the things i wanted to show the clients; new things that would show them the different side of them.

but i'd be scared if they wouldnt like it or accept it cause it's too different.

and people have always been afraid of being portrayed as different, but i want my work to stand out as different and surprising cause for me, that's what still life is all about.

why black and white explains so much bout a person than a colored photo would.

why a close up of their eyes would accidentally reveal the chest of feelings they bottled up.

of still photos of smoke exhaled reveals an alternative side; a humane side, a fragile side to a hard face.

or a laughter caught on the fineprint reveals a happy person with certain vulnerability.

a picture speaks a thousand words.

then i'd remember a client mentioned how he looked back at one of the photos i took of him smiling; of how sad he was feeling that time yet he wanted to remember only good sides of life, which explains why he wanted a book done on him during his lowest period of time.

and i'd then remember a friend asking me, what else have i not done that i'd like to do.

and i'd remember i said i havent start making clothes, how i cried cause i explained that time has never been right and how everytime i wanted to take a step to doing just that, there seems to have other bigger priorities lining up.

then he asked me, how did i took up photography.

and i'd remember, i didnt took it up by accident.

i had it all planned out in my mind before i took it up, and i knew exactly what i want to do and how i was going to do it.

it was mere fluke that it did so well.

but when it comes to designing clothes, it seems i only had the passion to want to do it, but not enough courage to take it on cause i havent finished imagining how it'd end up as another facet in my life.

i still do not have an idea of what kind of clothes i want to make, and how it'd compete in the industry where it's overflow with trend setters, cause the clothes i want to make are based on clean cut, comfortable concept. There seem so much competition available, and i was swamped.

thus, the dressmaking idea has always been at the back of my mind; a regret i gotta live with.

that was all in my daydream. sigh..

Glasses

2008-06-01T23:50:00.000+08:00

I almost forgotten how much I love glasses, preferably of practical shapes and sizes.

Sometimes, walking thru IKEA or browsing thru some of the gift shops in KL, Penang, Singapore, I cant stop but watch the clear glasses as I search for clarity and budget.

And reading thru the many creative design blogs, I cant stop watching any colorful things one places inside a glass.

The texture, the contrast of colors, the amazement from how different one angle looks and how each time, it's unique.

It's a fascination that's sometimes, spellbinding.

I just love, texture.

Unforeseen Farney Scenarios

2008-05-28T23:14:00.000+08:00

I was watching Casino Royale the other day.

That's the kind of movie I would never go to the cinema to watch for, and it's all cause the main actor has a superficial pout.

Guys with pouts always put shivers on me timbers..*brr..

Anyway, that particular movie was explaining initially how James Bond wasnt as polished as he's right now; "Bond, James Bond" and "Martini, stirred and not shaken".

So as I was watching the somber draggy movie where for the first half hour the gal wasnt even hot and the drinks werent even cool, there's this scene where James was poisoned during the card game where millions were at stake.

Thus he went to his car where all the gadgetaries were attached and called M up for assistance.

The specialists at the headquarter was instructing on how to counteract the poison in his body before he went into cardiac arrest.

And while Bond was giving himself the antidote shot, he also had to attach the heart electrical shock machinery onto his chest and listen to instructions over the phone as well as dripping pints of sweat over the leather couch.

So when the moment he needed to push the button to trigger the electrical shock machinery, it didnt work. So he pushed couple of times, only to discover that a cable was disengaged from the contact on his chest.

Still sweating by the gallons, Bond still attempted to fix the tiny little wire over his chest as his heart went into arrest.

That's got to be the climax of the film for me, couldnt keep my mouth from twitching when he tried to put the little wire over his chest. It was a LAUGH-OUT-LOUD moment, big time. :D

Never knew James Bond movie would be a laugh, but there it is.

And the funniest part isnt finish, then Vesper Lynd (Bond movies are so famous for their bond gals naming cliches; Miss Goodthighs, Mata Bond, Honey Ryder, Kissy Suzuki, Tiffany Case, Mary Goodnight, Holly Goodhead, Countess Lisl von Schlaf and my favourites have gotta be Pussy Galore, Octopussy and Plenty O'Toole just to name a few) had to come to the scene just in time to plug in the cable correctly and pushed the button just in time.

Farney, one gotta watch it to enjoy it.

Goal and Aspiration

2008-05-27T21:59:00.000+08:00

Was watching the movie Goal! the other day.

Love it. Not the game, but the spirit of the game. There's a difference.

There are many things a person needs in order to breathe; an excitement in life, a purpose in life.. an aspiration.

My sis and I, we are very much alike in the sense that we must have a sense of purpose. She'll have to learn how to find her purpose in life as I'd have to find mine.

The part that knocks on the skull of my head is when the coach told Santiago that ppl's been bleeding his case, and he replied that he wanted to prove them right.

It's great to have someone believe in you, especially when you have lost hope.

Goal! (2005) is a great movie, whenever one needs a jolt or a knock in the head when they start to complain.

More movie stills

A Day in the City of the Lions

2008-05-23T13:43:00.000+08:00

I am now writing from the ciy of the lions, sitting in front of the table with the cookies smothered all over the desktop and the fans whirring and baby crying in the background.

Yes, life is peachy at the moment as all my friends are working their arse off for minimum 8 hours while I slave over the computer screen for 8 hours condoning in my favourite pastime; movies.

The heart of the gypsy will forever be restless till a new challenge comes her way, and I'm preparing for a new project and venture towards a more commercial based business.

New language, new software, new environment to settle in..all the variables of the unknown. Oh, settle down my little heartbeat.

I never understand why people would fear change or the unknown, it's so much more exciting than routine and playing around with the devils we all know bout.

And I hope I shall never ever have to stop worrying bout fear aka "False Evidence Appearing Real".

My previous venture didnt work out cos the person who's supposedly selling off the business took back their words as they can continue milking profits till the well of wealth dried up.

Nevertheless, one should not settle over spilt milk intead be grateful that it propels another opening towards the unpredictable.

This year, my aim would be targeting towards project management skills or consultancy / training skills but never letting go of my technical background.

I will be..as they say, much much stronger (spiritually).

Mahalo.. and will continue writing again when time permits.

Last Day @ Work

2008-04-30T16:28:00.000+08:00

Finally the countdown has arrived to today.

My colleague was asking how am I gonna spend my day tomorrow.

I replied, Sleep in late.

Then she said..how envious I am of you.

The another colleague interrupted, Tomorrow is holiday la.

Yes, now everybody can enjoy a whiff of holiday.

:)

Mistaken Identity

2008-04-28T09:04:00.000+08:00

I got this email from a friend who kept on trying to add me to his friendster.

But I couldnt place where I've met him.

Thus I sent an email asking where we've met, mayb will trigger my memory.

He replied, only to get my surname wrong.

Oh O..

Thus I replied, "Oh..nice to see you again. How's it been? PS : Btw, u got the wrong gal."

Man oh man..I tot I had amnesia of not placing the guy properly. I tot I was experiencing icetip of memory loss. I mean, anything's possible.

And I've kept him at the back of my mind for couple of months, yet nothing got jolted.

Man..I'm not losing my mind..yet. *Phew..

New things I learn everyday

2008-04-25T14:01:00.001+08:00

I'm catching up on my reading at the moment.

Usually I'd opt for flavour of the month; Tan Dun, Barack Obama, Lim Guan Eng, Tiger Woods just to name a few. I will post up some of the things that I like some day.

Today I'm partial towards edgy radical or extreme leadership.

Why the particular topic? I've read articles on leaderships before, so by now it was pretty boring by my standards.

And I was hoping to be motivated by a more extreme branch of leadership stories, where I might gain some insight into how some of the most (in my opinion) influential ppls' thoughts.

I've read bout Khaled Hosseini, the author of the book The Kite Runner cos I like the movie's review and I like a story bout kids with kites.

Men who expresses themselves in a curious way like Khaled Hosseini did when he wrote A Thousand Splendid Suns, he tried out the female garb burqa and said things like "It steals your breath away" does get my curiousity up. It's like touching, except with words.

I've always liked reading, especially interviews and stories on humans and their acts.

And I've always liked learning new words, cos I've never stopped my academic after I've graduated from school.

I love words that ppl rarely uses, but makes one sounded intelligent, great tools to have.

These are the words that impresses me today:

Pragmatist (n); a person who takes a practical approach to problems and is concerned primarily with the success or failure of her actions

Rhetoric (n); from Greek , rhêtôr, orator, teacher means the ability to use language well, through the practice of exaggeration, to influence others or language in a dress suit / flowery language

Credulity (n); tendency to believe easily, opposite of incredulous

Nascent (adj); being born or beginning

Oratory (n); addressing an audience formally or giving speech

Patriarchal (adj); structuring of society on the basis of family units

Eclectic (adj); a variety of sources

Article quotes that interest me:

"Ann took a job teaching English at the U.S. embassy. She woke up well before dawn throughout her life. Now she went into her son's room every day at 4 a.m. to give him English lessons from a U.S. correspondence course. She couldn't afford the élite international school and worried he wasn't challenged enough." - The Story of Barack Obama's Mother, Time

"Each and every one of you here has heard and felt those ceilings, somebody pushing you down, defining your limitations, who are you? You know damn well what you are capable of doing..." - Michelle Obama, Time

Advice to Nat: Gift for your mother-in-law, can get the batik sarung, got exotic traditional Malaysian style.

Advice for D: Please learn more new words to improve, else read my blog and all the articles provided.

Living Realistically

2008-04-25T11:50:00.000+08:00

I'm actually an idealist.

But I'm learning to take in realistic terms so I wouldnt wake up one day jumping off the window over ppl spitting on the streets of Malaysia.

Thus understanding the human flaws and idiosyncracies makes my life a lot easier..by being happy without being perfect.

Yea, tat article says it all.

I'm a web developer (yes, a web developer can hav a sucky website display).

Initially when I was developing some codes for a project, I'd have to plan step by step and think of all the factors that might cause the code error and counteract it with corrective / validative codes.

I used to have insecurities bout each of my validations, what if my validation codes produced errors? Then how do I counteract it?

Slowly after a slow span of 4 years, I've learnt to trust my skills and learn from my previous mistakes and experiences.

Now, I tried to keep my mind focus on a part at a time, once it's finished, I'd let it go and focus on new projects.

I guess the problem with work perfectionism is that one cannot learn to let go cos they are not sure thus need to recheck their task just to be sure. And that's already wasting some precious time for unit testing and making the program user friendly and fun to use.

To understand human flaws and accepting it makes living a lot easier.

It gives more time to learn new things, be curious bout new stuff, basically to have more time.

Thus I always believe that the best time to make the worst mistake one can ever do is during their teen, and it's acceptable. Except taking away lives.

Or that when one is new at something, it's acceptable that they'd make lotsa mistakes, as long as they grow out of it. And if they didnt, acceptance that they needed longer time to learn, or they just arent interested.

That some ppl learn from their mistakes will take longer and varies from one to another. That some ppl need to keep on encountering the same mistakes before they can actually learn how to tackle it, example like falling for the wrong types.

That some ppl are great teachers or students, while others might learn to get there.

That some ppl are just plain stubborn, that they needed a lot of rooms to grow and their ego taken cared of.

That each one of us have a power call choice, making decisions that will effect our journey and whether it will take a windy road or a straight road.

And that sometimes, we have to learn to trust to let go and let ppl make mistakes to grow. Cos we cant live their lives for em.

That some ppl need encouragements to nurture their enthusiasm, while others need challenges to provoke their spirits.

But either way, each of us will learn or change our behaviour from the good, the bad and the ugly. Almost like the story of the egg, carrot and coffee / beer.

What does it say about a man..

2008-04-25T11:36:00.000+08:00

..who writes a phrase like "It steals your breath away"

Does it make him anyway less of a man to be sensitive to wat I'd call the silent emotion?

When we all ponder bout how we express ourselves, do we convict those who speak of their feelings with eloquence that topples our ego?

Men who speaks too much of their feelings scares me.

I'd rather they speak in languages like spanish or latin in order for me to think of em as an acceptable romantic.

It must be the asian in me.

Reusable Advice

2008-04-25T10:23:00.000+08:00

When face with a tyrannical opponent, use the quote below:
"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent."

A good advice for the demotivated teen:
"Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?"

A great comeback when death threat looms:
"You want to take me out? You cant even take me out with flowers and a box of chocolate!"

A good advice bout life:
"I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem."

An dandy advice to the subordinate who's made lead:
"When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate."

An advice one hope will never have to give out:
"We are the people our parents warned us about."

An advice for those hoping to sound wise:
"Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech."

And other quotes that diverse from it's usual route:
"To err is human. To forgive is unusual."

"Only those who attempt the absurd can acheive the impossible."

"Time flies when you don't know what you're doing."

"Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself."

"Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal."

Ciao!

2008-04-25T10:05:00.000+08:00

I'm leaving my company at the end of this month, and leaving KL by the end of next month.

It's a decision after much consideration and demotivation.

I hope I will do well in my next endeavour while I seek a certain satisfaction of an old dream.

I hope, by the end of this year, I'd have succeeded in aligning both my time and pursue in harmony, while gaining satisfaction that will probably keep my old gypsy heart at bay.

Please pray for me well, and pray for me safe.

I will update this blog every now and then with new outlooks on life, and quotes that never fails to put a smile on my face.

Thanks to all who've been a solid reader of this blog. Ciao amigos..for now.

A Moment To Remember

2008-04-25T09:58:00.000+08:00

Yes, I'm talking bout the sad melodramatic sickness induce k movie.

I wonder why is it that korean directors do not make happy ending movies enough, I just realised most of their high-ranking movies ended sadly.

Why cant they make movies that ended realistically happy, like both main characters got together, with the female lead may (or may not) throw something at the male lead or with them bickering but always make up in the end.

Tired of mellow movies, I think I will revert back to shallow movies like half-clothed men with pretty abs and manly face.

Last Birthday

2008-03-03T12:26:00.000+08:00

Last week during my bday, I went to meet a friend's puppy.

He's bigger than the pic, fluffier as well, happier and got lotsa tricks up his sleeves.

And he's pretty much loved..

I'm getting a maltese one day, or a Jack Russell.

Birthday Gift

2008-02-26T14:04:00.000+08:00

This year, pre-birthday, I've already got 3 books!!!

I've never felt so orgasmic receiving books before, but the feel of paper and good wishes and more books to fill up my bookshelves, it's exhilarating..kaka.

I remembered my old childhood dream; if the academics doesnt work out for me, I'd apply for the local librarian post cos nothing makes me happier than to browse my hours thru books back then.

Now, there's the endless internet, which explains why I'm in the iT line.

Everything works out for the best.

PS : Last yr a coll got me "The Year of Yes", I got myself 3 seasons of CSI Las Vegas. It's been peachy!

The Quinns

2008-02-25T10:52:00.000+08:00

I bought the books last weekend as my upcoming bday pressie and finished it all in one sitting (till the next day).

I'm going to dream bout the Quinn brothers (fictional idealistic characters) every nite..drool..

Prosperous Year with the Family

2008-02-11T10:20:00.000+08:00

Spent really nice holidays with the family.

First day came to kl (5th Feb), I went to fetch my mum n dad at the airport. Then drove back home.

B called Diana to ask her bout her plans of coming to kl since she's gonna be travelling alone due to her school's festive season holiday mismanagements. She said she will be travelling with clothes on her back. We laughed.

Ate mum's signature chicken feet and pork dishes. Heard dad said that after mum cooked the dish, Diana had picked out all the nice parts and left us with all the fingers. Pampered brat. Luckily she scooped some out, cos we finished it all in one meal.

Then we went shopping at Carrefour to buy some more neccessities (cos watever we bought is never enuff) for the New Year Eve dinner.

Second day (6th Feb) went to morning market to buy more food and persimmons cos mum's been craving. Bought a crate of mini oranges.

Evening waited for diana to arrive as she's travelling alone. She arrived at the lrt near the house with only the clothes on her back and a packet of Famous Amos biscuits. No laughing matter with mum, but we all laughed anyway.

Went to Jaya Jusco for some shopping mania.

Had family reunion dinner for the first time in KL. Ate lotsa prawns this year.

Third day (7th Feb) went to Midvalley for some shopping cos mum's been complaining bout her lack of new clothes. Walked for quite some time and luckily saw an acrobatic show there.

Mum n dad was ecstatic while Nat n Diana was excited bout the petshop. They took lotsa photos of the pets only to be informed by an employee there not to take any.

D accidentally deleted all the photos taken during the CNY on the second last day when she tried out the "Format Simple" button. Now she knows what Format means. Hehe..

Walked to the Garden and when Nat tried to go to the toilet, she realised all the toilets at ground floor are entrance charged at RM5, which is freaking outrageous.

The odd thing is the second, third and fourth toilets has free admission. Assholes. Stoopid design. But we all walked in and tried it out cos Nat kept on saying "Must visit cos it's RM5 toilet!!!". Haha..

Then we walked back to Midvalley, wanting to go home only to realised we r too hungry. I wanted to have some Dragon Buns but all the chinese owned shops were closed since twas second day of CNY.

Thus we went to KFC for a finger licking good moments.

After we paid for parking tix, I took the Bangsar road home and stopped a while to shop again at Blook before we really went on our journey back home.

Fourth day (8th Feb) went to IKEA to get Lazy Susan and enjoy some window shopping. Ate at the restaurant and ordered the 10 beef meatballs dish, spring chicken and a dessert.

Dad kept on feeling amazed at how user friendly IKEA restaurant is. We had a messy poke at our food, but twas really fun as we finished all of em and Dad was commenting on how reasonably priced they are.

After we paid for the tix and IKEA stuff, we went to the Curve for some more shopping madness. Saw an acrobatic show there too.

B's bf Ang called her mentioning that he's got tix for CF7 that midnite and I booked 3 for me and Nat and D.

Dad was requesting to go Tesco but I wasnt sure how to U-turn, thus on our way back to the car, I accidentally directed em to Tesco which was on one end of the Curve. I was such a dumbass.

My feet was threatening to break thus I sat on the floor w Nat on the Magazine counter while dad n mum browse through the aisle. By the time they came back, they had a loaded trolley with em. And two crates of oranges again. *cross-eyed..

And my car was parked at IKEA. *cross-eyed..

But I managed to U-turn to Tesco and we all went home tired but happy.

Fifth day (9th Feb) went to Sg Wang to do a little of shopping. Then we walked to Pavillion for some food and acrobatic show.

By the time we got back, twas 7pm plus and went to the Thai stall bazaar near my place and bought a dish of Mieng Khum; a very special Thai appetizer prepared with dried shrimp, lime wedges, diced onions, peanuts, ginger, toasted coconut flakes and ate together with Sirih or Piper betle leaves.

Decided to eat outside at Steven's Corner cos too lazy to cook and ordered a feast, well, mamak style anyway.

So six of us had cheese naan, tandoori chicken with mint sauce, quails, satay, Mieng Khum and other assorted stuff. Spent around RM30 for the fun filling dinner. Went home and pooped on the bed till the next day.

Sixth day (10th Feb) fetched mum, dad, Diana to KLIA for their 2pm ride. Stayed a while, ate at McD while waited and mum kept on nagging bout going into the waiting room Golden Lounge as they had first class tix, the final tix as my dad's retiring soon this year, May to be exact.

After an endless hugging processing with Nat threatening to break D's neck off with her death-grip, we browsed the book shop at KLIA before paying for the parking tix.

Didnt realised parking was so darn expensive at KLIA till it showed RM6.50 for 1 hr and 30 min park. Die KLIA, die..

On the way back went to Sunway Pyramid cos Nat's been pestering bout having not enuff clothes when she goes to Oz in March. Girls and shopping and bfs..*sigh..

Walked till mum n dad n sis safely arrived at Kuching airport. Had pre-dinner at Dragon-I for some Siu Loong Pau or literally means small dragon buns cos was craving.

I'm very surprise that suddenly in 2007, there's Dragon-I restaurants growing like mushrooms, I mean it's basically all over the place in KL!

And it kept me thinking, I mean the restaurants all looked classy, if the owner(s) really do comes from China, the owner(s) must be freaking rich or head of the mobster!

Cos deco alone for the restaurants would cost a frenzy, not to mention the imported chefs. Course, with the charges going to RM8 for 4 pieces of Siu Loong Paus (usual price) and RM2 for a glass of hot tea (not usual price), the ROI will definitely overwrite the cost of the initialise, as long as there's no cheaper but delicious and well-known Siu Loong Paus in the market..yet.

So till today I do not know who's the owner(s) of the Dragon-I as the web, usually a reliable source of info, could not show me a reliable source stating who's the owner(s) of Dragon-I.

Thus mobster-turn-restaurant-owner still stands in my view. *Wild-fantasy-that-I-have..

By the time I arrived home, I slept till 11.30pm for my bath and cleaning up of the house and dishes.

Chinese New Year 2008; truly an experience, equivalent of 6 crate-holds of oranges.

Days family in KL
Acrobatic shows watched
Places visited
Restaurants ate

PS : Hopefully CNY 2009, we will all be sipping maitais at some snow-white beach, listening to tweakings of the guitars and songs from the sea. My goal.

Rat Year is a drag

2008-02-04T09:12:00.000+08:00

Countdown to 2008 Chinese New Year.

I had been bringing in the dust storm in my house, cleaning non-stop since last weekend.

I cleaned the living room, the second master room, the kitchen, the balcony, the cobwebbed ceilings, the other bathroom, mopped the whole place..and did it all by myself cos my sis was too lazy to help me. She cooked tho. I really need to start learning how to cook cos this is a phucking bias bartering system.

Did 4 laundries last nite, bought softener from Carrefour and couldnt stop using it and it smelt oh so good..

Cleaning ups always have a calming effect on me.

Oh yea, my mum and aunt bought a business and gonna to start soon this year.

She asked me if I would like to go back and help em out, watching over the family business.

I've weighed the pros and cons of goin back and work for my family.

And basically, I still cant see the light of things.

Pros of working for family
- less stress, flexible working hour
- more decision making experience
- ppl management

Cons of working for family
- naggings
- quarrels at home
- not much freedom (meaning one cant be as lazy as one used to be)

My sis also told me that living with family has its down. When first went home, they'll treat one as nice as possible. After a few months, all the spots will appear.

It's really tough living w parents, especially w nagging mum and parents who never see any point in finding a compromise in their daily lives. And the world record repetitive naggings and complains tat never fail to appear due to different buttheaded stubborn-streak personalities living under the same roof. *die..

Never fail to make me want to jump off the nearest balcony or roof.

PS : Dear sisters who are reading this article, please do not tell mum this before I do. Thanks.

Persuasion By Jane Austen

2008-01-29T10:30:00.000+08:00

Summary coming soon.

Northanger Abbey By Jane Austen

2008-01-29T10:29:00.001+08:00

Summary coming soon.

Emma By Jane Austen

2008-01-29T10:29:00.000+08:00

Summary coming soon.

Mansfield Park By Jane Austen

2008-01-29T10:28:00.000+08:00

Summary coming soon.

Sense and Sensibility By Jane Austen

2008-01-29T10:19:00.000+08:00

The story is about marrying the appropriate person.

Finicto.

To Read

Opinion:
Another messed up stories by Jane Austen. It's mostly bout having good heads when falling in love.
I'd still prefer Norah Roberts.

Pride and Prejudice By Jane Austen

2008-01-29T09:57:00.000+08:00

A story bout how pride and prejudice can make a man's proposal gone wrong.

Finicto.

To Read

Opinion:
The story's a little messed up for me. Too many characters interwined with one another. Boring.
I saw the movie Bride and Prejudice, which is also pretty messed up for me. Hate it.
Which explains why I hate reading Jane Austen's books. Hate it hate it hate it..

Classic Stories

2008-01-29T09:45:00.000+08:00

I've read classic stories more towards the Greek Mythology and the Brits during my free-spirited teenhood.

Hercules
King Arthur and the Round Tables
Twelfth Night
A Midsummer Night's Dream
The Tempest
King Lear
Much Ado about Nothing
Romeo and Juliet
Hamlet
Macbeth
The Merchant of Venice
The Taming of the Shrew
Othello
All's Well That Ends Well

Unfortunately I was never a fan of Jane Austen's works.

I really need to polish up on my classics.

Will upload the story and their summary and my opinions of em.

Cheerios.

The Three Pigs

2008-01-29T09:39:00.000+08:00

My sis asked me the other day about the story of the three pigs.

And for the life of me, I could only remember two of the houses built!!!

Oh, such classic amnesia for such classic story.

First pig made a house outta straw, and the big bad wolf huff and puff it away. So he went to the second pig's house.

Second pig made a house outta sticks, and the big bad wolf huff and puff it away again. So they went to the third pig's house.

Third pig was industrious and made a house outta bricks, the big bad wolf couldnt huff nor puff it away.

So the wolf tried the chimney and fell into a heated cauldron, thinking the pig was trying to eat him, the wolf fled and was never seen near the pigs again.

The moral of the story is..erm..do read em yourself. *sigh.

2008

2008-01-11T10:49:00.000+08:00

Looking back at all my blog links, I've kept this blogsite for more than 2 yrs.

Wow, a feat considering I'm never much for commitment (another nagging issues from family).

So, wat do I hav for year 2008?

APlenty.

But aint sure gonna realised all of it, last year's been a drag, didnt realised much cos was bz finding excuses for other pending stuff.

This year, I'll try to find more time for personal hobbies.

There's some empty walls at home, I might zooz em up with some colors.

Also been aiming to do some wall murals, the design's been sitting in my head for months, and I still havent decided. *sigh..the curse of being a pisces.

Saw the Brattby cabinet with one shelf holding all my empty bottles. Also sis been asking for favor to paint some shirts.

Now that I've got coffee table and dining table, I want to buy some glass containers for the flowers or other colorful home accessories. Still thinking.

I know I know, I think a lot, but once I'm gonna do it, I wun hold back. So, let me think to my heart's content.

2008, will be a year for self-discovery, more towards the creative realm.

Thursday Morning

2008-01-11T09:26:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was Thursday. It was holiday in Malaysia.

I was so excited the previous day that I couldnt sleep, cos I was thinking of the many cleaning ups I can do.

Yes, I've finally gone insane, overboard with cleaning. No, you nincompoop. I just procrastinated on loads of cleaning up, thus it's a good day to catch up (also to shut off sister's nagging).

So on wed nite, I did 3 laundries, cleaned the room while sis slept, till 4-5am, while watching The Mummy.

Partly also my mind was clouded by smtg n my brain wouldnt shut down. Like tat guy I used to hav a crush on, well, a friend showed me his latest photo (one photo) and I was back to highschool. Darn..*knock-head-over-imaginary-wall

Next morn, I went w sis to morning market to buy some vege and meat produce, and off we go to IKEA to get that Brattby I've been aiming.

IKEA was jam, sis went to the hotdog counter to get that dog I wanted, while I went to get that bookcase (asked an employee to drag the box towards the trolley, he was smiling when he saw me asking cos I was female and alone, perhaps thinking how the heck I'm gonna drag it to watever transport I was riding that day) and paid.

The cashier counter was a drag, the lane was extremely slow. I saw the lane next to me, feeling cranky cos I didnt get enuf sleep and I was hoping to get home by now, who knows everybody wanted to go IKEA shopping thursday morning. Darn.

With two female loading two boxes into Kenari, not a pretty sight I must say, off we go home.

Using the trolley my mum got me 3 yrs back, we moved the shelves back to the condo.

While I was excited going thru the leaflets of how to install the bookcase, my sis busied herself with carrot cake recipe.

So I spent the whole day going thru the installation booklet, and by 2pm, I had it finished installed, all by myself.

Then when I asked my sis to help me to move the bookcase, she said, "You shuld know it's a one person's job" without even glancing at me!!!

Shit, so being less feminine and every bit as tired but still excited, I pushed the bookcase to the wall all by myself, not a light feat I might add.

So there it is, Brattyby bookcase, as storecabinets. So I put all the kitchen wares that we never use to the shelves.

Then as I cleaned up, I saw a bunch of small nails that I didnt use. And I went to the bookcase and tried shaking it a bit. It holds. So I just put away the nails and the thought of the bookcase falling flat in the future into the back of my mind.

House is looking better, but still can be improved.

Cant help thinking tat I was being feminine by reminiscing bout past crush while at the same time hammering my arse off in the most masculine manner while my sis was doing feminine chores like cooking, I'm so stereotyping right then.

Now listening to Half Life, crooning onto "cause lately, something here don't feel right, this is just a half life, don't you see i'm breaking down, is there really no escape, no escape from time of any kind"

*sigh..the mind is a mysterious little bugger.

"Feminine and masculine in one day; a confusion that never ends." - ngy

Latest Fetish

2007-12-26T10:03:00.000+08:00

Yea, I'm down to my latest fetish.

This month, and the upcoming months, I'm going to look for reasonably priced practical non-lala handbag for my mum and some nice shirts or surfer pants for my dad.

You heard me, bag and surfer pants.

So, my mind is thinking, shiny or cumpled leather handbag for my mum.

It's practical, not black and at the same time, funky with any clothes regardless of color scheme.

Surfer pants..black, less design but comfortable enuf to act as boxer.

Yea..aiming aiming..

Shopping is tough, cos I dun like other ppl's taste when I buy stuff for em but I'd like to take their taste into consideration.

Tough..tough..

Shopping With Sisters

2007-12-26T09:39:00.000+08:00

Was on shopping spree yesterday cos I needed to get some working clothes for a sis.

My mum's got great taste, but twas too practical that in a practical working environment such as teaching, her taste would literally drive my sis into spinsterhood.

So, being an un-practical sister, I volunteered to become my sis's stylist.

Only to discover that she's got really practical sense and couldnt get used to the style I proposed, which is something youthful and stylish, that when ppl sees her wearing it, they wouldnt imagined her in the educational industry.

I was aiming for young punk, but she'd ruined it.

So, frustrated and getting a might bored, I got handbags for each of us.

A gold one for my experimenting sister, a light coral-pink for my practical sister and one for me.

*sigh..shopping is tough.

PS : I need to window-shop more so I can re-style my sisters' taste.

Parkour

2007-12-26T09:13:00.000+08:00

It's an urban sport sensationalised by the french David Belle.

For more definitions, read.

Bought Yamakasi I and II, not japanese movies, both without Belle acting in it. It gives a rough idea of what pk does, but not it's true essence.

Traceurs dont just become spidermen, jump from buildings to buildings (one can view this from Jump London and other jumps), doing acrobats or tricks or to use their strength to do lawless deeds. Twas more zen and self-less (other than health) purpose.

If one wants to see overall what pk does, one can view it from the movie Banlieue 13 aka B-13. It's got some impressive moves, too short to comprehend until one keeps on rewinding, then only one comprehends the physique requires.

For me, pk is alike extreme sports, with hazy guidelines. There's a few terminologies like Équilibre, Saut de chat and more, but the movement itself is still up for personal interpretation. It's an elegant sport in terms of movements (if one does it right) and a free form that's undefinable cos it's still in it's creative forms.

The great thing bout the sport is it's stamina building and discipline/focus induced, not competitive and has so much potential, the bad thing is the original team members has so much dispute over it's definitions and profitability that there's no strong sense of definable guidelines for ppl who are interested in it.

When one day pk becomes a routine games that youngsters play, I can imagine a whole lotta monkeys hanging from a concrete jungle to another.

And tat's..another story.

Post-Christmas 2007

2007-12-26T08:55:00.000+08:00

Feeling post-holiday blues.

But Christmas this year has been a blast for me, cos all my family members are here.

Christmas for my family is not like everybody else.

My family likes to spend it..hibernating.

Driving for 15 minutes will induce talks like "How far is the place? More than 15 minutes? Let's go home.."

Mind I add, good food will take longer drives, but it's worth it. But some people just dont get it.

So, if one happens to drop by our house, they'd see a couple lifeless bodies sprawled on the living room, drooling away.

Also, my mum's developed a craving for fuyuk-imai, a type of sweetened soup dessert that's very happening in west Malaysia.

She and my sis would hav the whole pot to themselves and finished it off in a day.

My dad on the other hand, loves to go to the morning markets. Nobody's more enthusiastic than my dad when it comes to going to the morning markets. He'd personally request it, and he doesnt request much.

Then he'd cook up a frenzy, morning and noon, high tea and low tea, dinner and supper.

My sisters and I would endlessly gorge ourselves while complaining "So full..so full..", talking and eating at the same time. Pigs.

Yesterday I sent off my parents to the Central station, where both of em took a different planes and at different time.

I love my family, even if they are weird.

Taufik Batisah's Blessing

2007-12-24T12:14:00.000+08:00

First Singapore Idol.

I googled him up cos somebody mentioned that he's so much better than Hady, so I gotta listen before commenting.

And, yea, actually it's true, Taufik's got a versatibility that's clear and resonant.

Hady's look is more commercial-able and babe-magnet, but Taufik's voice, tat's something else.

One gotta listen to his version of Me and Mrs Jones at youtube during the Singapore Idol finale and get knocked outta their breath.

Sexy and youthful, that's my verdict, for that particular song.

In his album Blessing, he's got tat version too, but twas too clean and lacked the smooth operator sound compared to youtube's.

In comparison to Taufik's Blessing and Hady's Hady Mirza, there's a lack of diversity and a certain something in the latter's voice. But Hady did a better rendition of Berserah compared to Taufik.

Anyway, just a nice thing to share.

Half Life by Oliver James

2007-12-24T11:52:00.000+08:00

Afternoon, I fell asleep in the living room
It's one of those moments when everything is so clear
before the truth goes back into hidding
I wanna decide cause it's worth deciding
to work on finding something more than fear
It takes so much out of me to pretend
tell me now tell me how
make amends

Maybe I need to see the daylight
live beyond the half life
don't you see i'm breaking down
O lately.. something here don't feel right
this is just a half life
is there really no escape, no escape from time
of any kind

I keep trying to understand
this thing and that thing my fellow man
I guess I'll let you know when I figure it out
I don't mind a few mysteries they can stay that away
It's fine by me but you are another mystery I am missing
It takes too much out of me to pretend

c'mon lets fall in love....... again

cause lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half life
without you i am breaking down
O, wake me
I wanna see the day light
save me from this half life
let you and I escape
escape from time

Really like the title for this song. Songs bout half life..

Maybe I need to see the daylight
live beyond the half life
don't you see i'm breaking down
O lately.. something here don't feel right
this is just a half life
is there really no escape, no escape from time
of any kind

Living beyond a half life..thinking when the alarm's gonna go off..

Is it just me who crave to get out of this prozac mind-bogging pain-induced vice-overload nation..

Darn the holiday mood..

On Being A Romantic

2007-12-21T16:01:00.001+08:00

"One last kiss..
One last touch..
One last tender moment between us.."

The music crooned on.

It was a good night; the place was crowded, the crowd was happening, the dance floor was booked.

He sat on the edge of the velvet three-seater, his crowd consisting of nobody in particular, merely muses of all sorts.

He hummed a little tune he made up, remixing again and again until he got the right rhythm. Never needing to record anything down cos he's got great memory when it comes to music, and like wat it was, it was a good night.

He reached across the table, held onto her hand, and said while the music tingled his senses, "Why don't you consider me, baby.."

A half grin lingered on his face, she looked around and pulled a stranger out of the dark, "Cos I'm engaged to him, baby.." and murmured a thank you in the stranger's ear.

They both smiled across the room, his hands still hold onto hers. They both knew it was the music, leading them on.

Both knew naught what the morrow might brings, just holding onto the simple understanding of now, now that counts.

Two strangers holding onto the night.

♣

He went home with the tune in his head.

He cant wipe off that silly grin from his face; giddy with inspiration for his next song.

He self-consciously picked a song from his customised jukebox.

"So tonight I really wanna feel you grooving..
Move our body close to me..
I know it's where you wanna be..
On me.."

He went to the balcony, leaning towards the edge as the night wore out and changed into dawn.

He should feel weary to the bone, but the memory of a certain smile lingered, along with previous night's smell of promises.

It was a good night.

♣

"When you believe in things that you don't understand,
Then you suffer.."

The radio mocked him.

He couldnt stop thinking of the smile.

He wished he could just shut off the thoughts, but it continued to sneak in.

He went back to the club again that night.

It was the usual mixture of crowds; strange faces holding sweet promises as the music played on.

But she wasnt there.

He hoped he could twirled another tune from the air, but it didnt work.

He wished he could remember just how to meet her again, but there's no number or familiar faces.

He went back earlier than usual, the music sounded far away.

♣

"I’ve been sitting here..
All alone in my home..
And I’ve been thinking, thinking just.."

The night was slow.

There's no music in the air, the words merely appeared in his mind.

Music is a part of his life, but for the life of him, he suddenly couldnt remember how to call it out of the blue.

It's been a week.

He shouldnt bring up hope of seeing her again.

But he couldnt just give up.

Grabbing a jacket on his way out, he drove to the club again, crossing his fingers.

Please be there.

♣

The night was young.

The music was making her restless.

Her usual crowd had yet to arrive.

She vowed to leave in five minutes if they didnt arrive.

Then she saw him walking thru the door.

The same guy who made her smile the other day with their mild flirtation.

She hoped he saw her.

He did.

Grinning across the room, he walked towards her.

She could hear him crooning a song..

"Whatever you want to do..
It's alright with me..
You make me feel so brand new.."

She made a little space and said "Hi.."

He slipped in beside her and replied back "Hiya back.."

She hoped her friends would take their time.

He said a little prayer and thanked the higher power for making the decision of coming over tonite.

They moved against the music till dawn and it was muse all the way.

The End

Aamir Khan, Another Favourite

2007-12-21T11:48:00.000+08:00

I love his portrayal in Dil Chahta Hai for the upbeat and fresh approach that it represented. Also the diverse emotional range that he portrayed from a scene where he acted the eternal goof while proposing to a girl and then reenact the same proposal scene, with the same girl, using a mature approach and certain emotional intensity that threatens to burst, like a dam actually.

Ah..

Talking bout sizzling men never fails to perk up my melancholy mood.

Aamir Khan, one of the powerful Khans of India.

Muslim, family man, controversially quiet; two out of three my favourite traits in a movie star.

Who'd have thought the once cute guy would one day be one of the most sought after actor and a perfectionist in his art.

Saw the newspaper and read bout his latest movie; Taare Zameen Par with tag line "Every child is special".

I'd need to get Dil Chahta Hai and Taare Zameen Par for this holiday, along with American Psycho, National Treasure 1 and 2, Andre Bocelli's Tuscana, Enchanted and I Am Legend, MIB The Series..

Idols

2007-12-21T09:05:00.000+08:00

Man..

Hearing the winning of Singapore Idol as the next Asian Idol, kinda makes me dejavu of another idol.

Hady's song Berserah hit a high note that's not unlike Nita's Berhenti Berharap.

Both put their emotion on the high notes and it expanded. Both are so short but memorable that it aches.

I guess, some songs, no matter how mediocre the lyrics are, when sang with the right emotion will never fail to tug a string.

Actually I was opting for Jac for her powerful voice, but hearing the rest, it was a pretty tough competition. Then, I was tired of Jac's voice cos there's no diversion, mere powerhouse on high. Plus, I heard it cracked on some of her shows on tv.

Guess idols are a whole package thing, it's undeniable some are talented, but the end of the day, the humble wins.

Congrats, Hady, for being real.

PS : Thank God for youtube, else I wouldnt be able to scratch my itch for hearing live-recorded Nita's Berhenti Berharap, Daniel's Angin Malam and Hady's Berserah. All an idol need is a moment to burst their heart out on a song and it will last.

Stand-Up Quotes

2007-12-19T17:47:00.000+08:00

"The fear of life is the fear of a coward. To take that life is the deed of a coward. To save and love that life is the act of a hero." - Lyndsay Roscoe

"It doesn't matter how many say it cannot be done or how many people have tried it before; it's important to realize that whatever you're doing, it's your first attempt at it." - Wally Amos

"It is not intelligence alone that brings success, but also the drive to succeed, the commitment to work hard, and the courage to believe in yourself. Know that your dreams must come from your heart's deepest desires. Only then will the barriers come down before you. To know your heart, you must know yourself. You are who you decide to be, not who other people decide for you to be. Be noble. Stand on the higher ground. Create your life and then go out and live it." - Anon

"The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it." - John Ruskin

"Sometimes someone says something really small, and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart." - Angela Chase (Claire Danes), My So-Called Life

"Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows fall behind you." - Maori Proverb

"If you want it and you dream about it...there's nothing that's going to stop you." - Chris Witty

"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not." - Oprah Winfrey

"Keep in mind that part of growing up is learning how to deal with difficult issues, and the benefits can be great if you have the courage to ask for help. Human beings are not designed to go through life alone. No one has to bear the burden of the tough times all by themselves." - Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Kimberly Kirberger

Wish life is as simple as it used to be, not succumbed to complexity of human flaws.

7 Days Before Christmas

2007-12-19T17:42:00.000+08:00

Yea, tomorrow's holiday in conjunction with haji.

Today my parents are on the way to my house and we r gonna spend it as a christmas reunion.

Kinda feeling sux lately, dun really know why. Hormonal rage is all I can think of.

But heck, christmas is just 7 days away.

And I'm amongst love ones.

Wedding Postmortem - Night

2007-12-17T12:16:00.001+08:00

Actually, I got a really nice dress for the nite event, like I mentioned in my previous post, everybody dressed down for the event.

Plus, I'm the usher. The dress makes me too sexy to be an usher at a restaurant, plus my married friends are expecting my to dress up to attract singles.

That's the difference in thinking between married ppl and singles; singles actually do dress up for themselves.

So I chose a happy colored but dressed-down dress for that, hoping I'd look happier than I felt. It worked.

Being the usher for the nite has got a few perks. I get to look at the ppl who arrived first. Not too many nice looking couples came in, but it was fun watching em anyway.

After the reception counter's been closed, we counted the angpows and a sister went to pay so the wedded couples do not need to carry hefty amound of cash around.

It was a dine-filling nite, I've forgotten some of the menus; an initial plateful of varieties, mushrooms with broccoli, fish, prawns, sharkfin, rice and others.

I quit after a few plates, too full to continue. Plus the food's routine, I'd still prefer sarawakian style of wedding meals, not much on presentation, more on taste.

Saw an old friend there, didnt chat much, figured there's not much to chat. He's still a teaser.

So, I came back exhausted, time stated 11.30pm, I washed, saw Singapore idol the Asian idol, heard my sis saying "Why is he so perfect?" and dozed off.

Blinked, and it was the next morning.

Darn.

* not biological sisters, more like brides maids without the dress

Wedding Postmortem - Morning

2007-12-17T12:07:00.000+08:00

Last weekend I spent it for a friend's wedding event.

I bought a really nice red dress for the event, but after much consideration, decided it wasnt suitable for the nite. Also seems like everyone dressed-down cos it was held at a restaurant.

So, on saturday I spent it at a hotel at curve while we gals decide on what to do on the next day.

At the hotel, a friend brought a blown-up mattress, fearing for the worse; not enuf mattress space to go around for 5 gals.

So we actually spent quite a while blowing up the mattress, not using our mouths mind you, but using the small little pump that didnt seem to improve any bit after 2 hrs pumping.

After the friend called up asking for instructions only we really get some work done.

So, the bride who was on the couch doing some mask treatment woke up feeling uncomfortable made us reshift our whole sleeping post.

I was supposedly sleeping on the bed with another 2 galpals, ended up on the mattress with a galpal.

Fearing for waking up next morning with a punctured mattress, I vowed to sleep still till the cock crowed.

So, I closed my eyes, only to open them to the next morning alarm. The sleep felt like a blink. Perhaps it had to do with us talking till 1.30 in the morning and waking up at 5am later.

So, preparing ourselves with the usual rituals; clean up, bath, dress up, make up for all 4 gals while the bride (who woke up way earlier to prepare for the make up stylist and cameraman to appear beside wearing all the neccessities like leggings and stick-on-bra), time flew and before we know it, the bride's family arrived. It was 7am in the morning.

Camwhoring happened then, followed by a call from the groom.

Specifically telling the bride not to tell the groom where's the room number was, I went down as representative to bring the groom's entourage.

All I can say is the sisterly act* where we are supposedly making the groom worked for the bride was too short and too hasty as we were rushing for time. Everybody needed to check out of the hotel by 8am.

So, pining for time-lapse, we played the prioritised game.

First, eating a bunch of bananas by the groom to signify giving birth the baby boys (sexist, I know).

Secondly, hanging two milk bottles while 2 ppl frm the groom's entourage sucked it dry without using their hands. They cheated by drinking it straight from the unlidded tops.

Thirdly, the groom gotta choose the correct room key from a bunch of ang pows. He got it right the second time.

So, directing the groom to the correct room, we asked him to read a mock-agreement in cantonese (which he sucks at) and signed it.

After he slipped the ang pow beneath the door, another sister in the room will decide whether to open the door or not for the groom to fetch the bride.

We let if off easy cos time's up.

Life sux, but we moved on.

Then we gals gotta drive ourselves to the house of the groom cos most of the cars from the entourage were full, which is ungentlemanly.

But the most ungentleman act is when I followed the cars as I didnt know the way, and they didnt even consider if I caught up with them or not. I gt called them up to slow down.

Life sux, but we moved on.

So, arriving there, we sat resting our poor feet while the bride and groom did the ritual of serving teas in accordance to the correct generation gap.

Then the sisters were urged to take photos at the couple's room. I saw a pink baby basin with an angpow thrown into the bottom, and I saw many of the couple's wedding photos all over the place, which for me is an overkill.

After the whole camwhoring subsided, we went downstairs for the bouquet throwing/catching ceremony.

Then we went back for a rest before going for the dinner at nite.

* not biological sisters, more like brides maids without the dress

Bouquet-ed

2007-12-17T12:03:00.000+08:00

Last weekend I went for a friend's wedding. And we were even sticking around till the bouquet throwing/catching ceremony.

I for one, never like catching any bouquet. One likes flower, one go buy, one dont go to wedding ceremonies and catch em.

So, being a good sport and hoping the ritual would be over fast, I quickly took a good spot where I know for certain I wont be catching anything.

And I saw only another gal standing beside me.

So I looked at her, and she looked at me, and I said, "Hey, it's either you or me (who caught the flower)".

The chance was pretty high, like 50-50. It made me broke a sweat.

Then the other single sisters took their places with us, which makes me less hemorraging.

I looked around, hey, there's only like 5 gals standing!

And I thought that I would have a good spot, apparently since there's 5 of us only, we stood in one fine line like akin to those prisoners of war standing before the firing guards.

Breaking a sweat as the chance was still pretty high, like 20% of either one of us catching the bouquet, I made sure I was standing at a spot where there's less percentage of catching one unless it's being thrown intentionally straight at me.

While the bouquet flew in the air, I heard myself going "Aaaah!" like the rest of the gals, except it wasnt a happy excited I-m-gonna-catch-it "Aaaah!", it was actually more of a horror I-really-dont-want-to-catch-it "Aaaah!".

Analysing the position of the bouquet in the air, I said to my friend, "Zin, catch!" which she did but let go.

I swore we laughed for a while contemplating not catching the flower, as other gal picked the flower from the ground and everyone decided who actually did caught it, I said, "Zin, you touched it. It's urs."

Hooray went into the air, everyone congratulated her, as she dazed her way thru.

Reality wise, perhaps it wasnt that funny for the person who caught it, but in my mind, that's what stuck.

My friend was bouquet-ed.

We will laugh off this event next year, or we will congratulate her on her wedding day, who knows.

Till then, it was a good laugh.

Red Dress

2007-12-14T07:54:00.000+08:00

Yea, I've just got a red dress.

Thought of getting sharp blue, but I saw an ex-coll getting a black dress and it looked so good I couldnt resist getting one of similar design but not black.

It's got lots of black mock jewels on the round neck and kinda bare back. Glamourous on my friend cos she got the black one, sexy for me cos I got the red one..kaka..I'm so gonna sizzle the dance floor with it, haha..

Now I will go for a wedding event with it and a LRD event (Little Red Dress) with it before retiring it to the corner of my cupboard.

Will upload after I took photo of it.

"Red kicks *ss!" - ngy

Christmas 2007

2007-12-12T09:47:00.000+08:00

Christmas 2007

I'm planning to spend the joyful peacefilling day with my family. Also to meet some long lost friends (I've became a bloody Ibiza!)

This weekend my mum's coming over to KL again for Matrons' Orientation Week. She'll be available for us after 19th Dec.

I'd love to bring her shopping with my newly repaired car and newly repaired driving attitude next week.

This weekend I'm going off on another sisterly act for a friend's wedding.

Going off to Royale Bintang and stay with some friends, just spending the few days being girls and b*tch bout our daily lives, trying to catch up.

Then the next day, preparing for her wedding luncheon at some restaurant near Midvalley.

I still havent decided on the dress to wear.

Christmas 2007 is coming, and it's been like for 2 yrs I've lived in a limbo where I let my autopilot take over.

I was never consciously aware that I've been on autopilot until I "woke" up one day and think what I've been doing previously.

Being a conscious b*tch does take a toll; I'm usually ironic and depress when "awake". Also angry.

This year, I hope I've toned down on my angst (leftover marks from my adolescent world) and become a better self-improving individual who's not afraid to speak her mind (but with lower octave).

Continued.

"Braindamage is one a step away from..%$@&" - ngy

Road to Hotels

2007-12-12T09:44:00.000+08:00

It's amazing that whenever ppl ask me what I've been doing lately, I'd answer, "I've been to different hotels in KL lately" then greeted with silence and chuckles.

Literally, it's true.

My mum's been in KL for so many times, I'd categorised her as a tourist-dweller, meaning she's not local but she can easily convert to one already.

She's been having seminars, courses, orientations and other events at the many hotels of KL.

Also my friends been staying at some that I'd arrange picking them up from the hotels itself.

So I'd know the route to a few of the hotels below:

Mum stayed @ Shangri-La, Crown Princess, Concorde, Flamingo, Le Meridien

Sis bf stayed @ ParkRoyal

Program @ One World, Golden Palace

Friends stayed or partied @ Trader (with Sky Bar), Pan Global (with Luna Bar), Eastin (with Rush)

Wedding @ Royale Bintang,

Fetched friends to Berjaya Times Square Hotel, De Palma,

Ballroom event @ Renaissance

Farewell @ Hotel Nikko

LBD @ Ascott (with Sevenatenine)

Well, living in hotels sure are fun, but nothing beats the feeling of waking up at the same messy place every morning and knowing exactly where one is.

Different Perspective

2007-11-29T11:21:00.000+08:00

My sis started her work as a waitress at some fast food restaurant.

On her first day, she came back at nite telling us that it was no fun working there; no meal provided and it was hard work. Even a coll asked her if she wants to quit.

Then she wanted to kill my other sis (who worked there before) for giving her false info.

And I think, it's such a different perspective for each persons who work at a place.

My other sis is more optimistic and curious compared to this sis who is a bit more pampered.

Thus, we've predicted that she'd hav a hard time getting used to being given orders or scolded for making mistakes due to her temperament.

But like wat they always say; Life is by far the best teacher there is.

So, good luck to her. :D

Christian Bale, Another Favourite

2007-11-16T11:00:00.000+08:00

Well, here's another article of men that interest me.

I just bought Equilibrium and saw how his performance instigate Batman, The Beginning.

He was awesomely cool in Equilibrium, being intense (his trademark) and to my surprise, most of his speeches are spoken without any show of teeth. Some of the acts doesnt make sense to me (like when he rammed into a door, tight and awesome, and then stood up while ppl are firing rounds), but the review mentioning that he was so intense that he's almost breaking from the intensity got me into getting that movie.

I notices these sort of stuff cos some ppl speak with the upper and lower teeth shown, while others spoke with on lower teeth show, and etc.

Then I read up on his other interviews (one of my favourite pastimes) and realised, this is the same guy who did the Greek fisherman in Captain Corelli's Mandolin!

That Greek fisherman was unimpressive at first watch, second watch only I realised the quiet nicety bout the person who acted the Greek fisherman. He left an impression of a faceless presence.

And that for me, is good enuf to add him on as one of my favourite actor list.

But dammit, he's English.

Harder to Work

2007-11-12T10:35:00.001+08:00

I discover it's getting harder for my to work under the command of a boss who doesnt trust what I am doing or what I understand.

I nodded my head in understanding during a meeting discussion only to have my boss telling everyone that "She doesnt understand..". It does make a person's esteem plunge. Makes me wonder if he knows how to respect another person.

And it's getting harder to trust my instinct when all I want to do is my job and be excited bout it but most of the time I'm getting a hard time from the person who pays my salary.

I wonder if working means trying to prove one over and over again which slowly in the process, one slowly starts to think like a completely different person than who she or he is originally or supposedly set out to be.

I really do not want to turn into a person who reads the mind of the boss. And I also dislike to work for somebody who keeps on intimidating it's employees.

But how does one stand strong to their beliefs while at the same time disprove a dictator?

I guess one doesnt.

Spoiler Ending for KDrama : Snow Queen

2007-10-26T15:26:00.000+08:00

Yes, I'm tat boring.

Anyway, moving on to spoiler. I love spoiling ppl's mood, especially those ppl who keeps on saying, "Dun let me know! I dun wanna know the ending! Stop! Stop! Stop!".

Snow Queen Spoiler.

Summary spoiler :
Guy A and B rival, guy B kill himself, guy A sad and gave up name and future. Guy A fell for guy B's sister C who had cancer and died in the end. Guy A pined for lost souls.

Finicto.

Few things that irks me :
1. Whenever Guy A remembered something or felt smtg ominous was gonna to happen, he'd run and run and run.
2. WTF is "Myasthenia Graviz"? After searching reviews and spoilers from others only I realised twas refering to the cancer of the female lead. Initially I thought twas a type of bullimia or self-destructive behaviour. Ass, questioning my intellect only. And the word doesnt even exist.
3. An uncle lecturer in the movie was saying the main actor was "handsome". Shite.
4. The lansi aka pummel-me-pls faces of all the actors and actresses in the drama. I dunno why, but after watching a few kdramas, I discover they've almost the same face expression. I call it pummel-me-pls expression. :|

Ok, enuf bout Snow Queen. I dun even watch the whole show, I just put it on when there's nothing nice to watch.

Annual Trip

2007-10-26T09:56:00.000+08:00

I'm currently saving up for annual trip next yr, hopefully during my bday.

I'd like to go Chatujak, Bangkok to shop till I drop.

Why?

Just cos I can, hehe.

Anyway, thinking of travelling, I hate travelling feeling excited cos after the travel period is over, I'd get real nasty body-withdrawal syndrome and starts fighting for more rest.

I'd rather travel to a place; a tourist blending into a native's daily life, familiarize myself to it's surrounding, nooks and crannies.

That's the best way to avoid being conned and from buying all the unneccessary souvenirs just cos time is running out and one might not get the chance anymore.

Then after travelling, need at least a day to recuperate or release all the excitement.

No wonder I feel constipated after each travel la..been holding in for too long. *bleuk..

Something Bout Trash

2007-10-26T09:52:00.000+08:00

There's something bout things that ppl throw away that might be useful when it's potential's enhanced.

I will vow to dedicate a few months of my precious time to fully benefit frm things that I throw out at home.

PS : Anybody got clear plastic bottles or clothes with lotsa buttons or gaudy clothes to give away, feel free to send it to me.

Full House

2007-10-26T09:50:00.000+08:00

As the title suggested, I bought the korean drama dvd called "FullHouse".

Saw the dvd cover frm the nite market and couldnt resist, it was so colorful.

Besides, I love the dressing sense in the show; youthful and playful.

And, it got english subtitles!!!!

How cool is that. :D

Medium Cooked Steak

2007-10-23T09:39:00.000+08:00

Whenever I feel stressed out, I'd always imagine that piece of steak Sandra Bullock was chewing off in "Miss Congeniality (2000)".

The warm aroma that comes from it, the chewy meat, the head-numbing sauce..

I need a new imagination. *sigh..

Peaches and Pie

2007-10-23T09:35:00.000+08:00

I was thinking the other day..bout peaches and pie.

What is peaches and pie u might ask?

It's my equivalent of good things in life, tho I hate peaches in pie, but they sounded so good with one another.

Course I love medium cooked steak too, but tat's another diff story.

Peaches and pie, things to enjoy when one is feeling settled, easy and carefree.

Peaches and pie, things to feel when one's finished working the jam, gym, noises in head and pain in the arse.

Peaches and pie, how I long for thee..

Sizzling Men

2007-10-23T09:29:00.001+08:00

I just realised Darren Choy is so hot, but could be so gay.

I mean, how can he be so workaholic n not get scandalously involved?? Haha..

Sien, how come all the hot guys I know locally are either gay or married?

Anyway, talking bout hot guys, I still like Hugh Jackman, not due to Wolverine, but to his performance in "The Boy from Oz", such captivating presense, excluding the dorky clothes.

My personal favourites also include Ewan McGregor, for all his full monty and quirks, as well as never ending boyish charm.

But, they'r married and settled, with kids to boot.

Life sux.

Crappy Previous Nite Sleep

2007-10-22T08:24:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a moody day for me and the sis.

First of all, sis spoilt my mood by showing that long horsy face and for being too dependent. She wun even ask for taxi to go to pay for the hs insurance cos she's expecting for me to fetch her. Crap.

Secondly I was moody due to her mood cos I thought I was the one not communicating well, thus I called my friend for a nice chat on her trip to Texas, USA and just trying to catch up with our lives.

Then I chatted w the mum regarding some issues and how to communicate more w the sis.

Guess I'm not the only person having problem talking with her. So, crap.

And last nite she came back late at nite, didnt tok to me, still with that crappy face and slept.

And I too slept with the tv off, for the first time in many many many years.

And I dreamt of :
1. The condo burning down, cos the fire siren was on for a while, and I was illusioning that we were all walking down the stairs trying to escape the fire. And I woke up in between dreams 2-3 times trying to differentiate between dream and reality. It was one of those is-the-stove-off moment.
2. Trying to get to my car and driving off somewhere trying to escape from something. Woke up another time.
3. Woke up in the middle of the nite thinking "I must've been trying to fall asleep" twice, think twas 2am and 3am.

So basically I've woken up at least 5-6 times last nite, trying to sleep.

So, crap for shutting off the tv.

PS : Walao, blogspot is so cool, I was watching the "Save Now" button saving this as draft all by itself every minute, so intelligent. Gives me goosebumps.

Reese Witherspoon

2007-10-19T09:21:00.000+08:00

The title's my role model, besides my mum (her positive sides).

I just watched back her movies; Sweet Home Alabama and Legally Blonde.

How I love both that movies, former for the black top white dotted skirt attire and lots of southern quirks while the latter for her sheer determination in being a better person where initially trying to prove somebody wrong.

I love her, pure dynamite on stillettos.

PS : My sis love "View From The Top" starring Mark Ruffalo. Said he speaks slowly and steadily, that's why she loves him. I say, he's husband material.

Weird Quirks

2007-10-19T09:13:00.000+08:00

My parents had some disagreement a few days back.

My dad was so angry that he rode the bike to the wharf / bus station and take the public transport to go back to my other hometown. Yes, he left the bike at the station.

When he reached home, he called my mum telling her he's gone back.

So, that's how my dad lost my mum's 25-yr-old bike, same age as my sis.

My family..the weirdoes.

Weekend Routine

2007-10-19T09:12:00.000+08:00

How do I spend my weekends?

There's so many answers :

1. Shopping
2. Swimming
3. Spring Cleaning
4. Watching Movies
5. Meeting Friends
6. Crafting
7. Sleeping
8. Downloading animes
9. Driving to get stuff for obsession or attending events
10. Procrastination of all the above.

Pick 2-3 or the last one and one can sum me up real fine.

PS : Kinky stuff not included. I practice safe methods.

Pasar Malam

2007-10-19T08:53:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I went back on the dot hoping to reach home in time to fetch my sis frm the lrt. I didnt make it in time.

So I went back and fetched her frm home, cos we wanna go "pasar malam" aka night market.

I was just walking along the nite market at sri rampai and we parked at the other end of the market, the end that I never got finish to walk. I will park at the other end more often from now, cos it gives me a new perspective of the market that I've walked countless times.

As we walked towards our destination; the fruit stalls, I walked pass many ppl who ate food on stick while walking.

I saw an auntie wearing short pants with her lower jaw jutting out chomping on pieces of sliced oranges which the fruit stalls were giving out, not a pretty sight, but very fascinating with the juices splashing from the mouth in slow motion. It makes me suddenly wanna jump into the pool and splash my hair like a wet dog.

There's many students walking at the market too. I didnt see any beggars on the walking lane, perhaps raya just passed and their pimp aint working during the festive season. It was a good nite.

I went back satisfied, lazy enough to repaint all my chipped nails and slept earlier than I usually does.

Red Bomb

2007-10-19T08:41:00.000+08:00

Received my friend's wedding invitation this morning. Her wedding's in december (16 dec 2007).

Received another friend's wedding invitation on the snail mail last few days. Her wedding's end of october (27 oct 2007).

Went to a friend's wedding in hometown last month (23 Sept 2007).

Hopefully next yr I'd come to a complete cycle of attending all my current friends' weddings.

If I ever got married, I will elope. I promise.

Cautious Thoughts

2007-10-16T09:39:00.000+08:00

Just had a meeting w another team in the company.

I was briefing them bout my team's part in integrating a new function into their system.

Then the team lead was telling me not to use so much query in my database as that's how the previous coll got laid off.

Ppl dun get laid off just cause they write loads of queries, they got laid off due to not performing.

Then I think, wait, the person who's doing the similar previous project as such didnt got laid off, he resigned.

Then I thought of the more current coll who was involved in the similar project who got laid off. But he never did much on the project.

Dunno why, but somehow I felt I've been warned to be cautious.

It's time to walk on toes.

Losing My Cam

2007-10-16T08:57:00.000+08:00

My sis sent me an email. Here's wat she wrote :

WTF...........
sorry
u lost ur camera?
man........
how can u ever do that to ur dear mum.........
answer me u idiot
how did u lost it
so careless de
how can u do dis

End of email.

My sis, the future English teacher, going to teach some school TESL format, going to teach the future leaders English language, curses at me, her eldest sis.

And after she cursed in her email, she said sorry. In an email. Where one can always just take out the curses.

Btw, I dun think cursing is cool, especially not by ppl half my age and dunno what she's talking bout.

And I didnt lost my cam due to misplacing it. It was snatched from me while I was getting my car washed.

I wasnt proud of being a fool by letting my guard down, I've still got some bruises to show, and how I regretted not putting that cam at home when I hav the chance, and how I know if my shallow minded sis read this she'd blame me, the victim for not being careful.

Sometimes it's hard to knock some sense into senseless beings who won't listen to advice, like my sis who learning to become a teacher who in fact just wanna get out from the country. So she'll have to learn a lot of things the hard way.

Guess it's the Malaysian mentality; blame the victim.

The country's management's getting worse, with ministries and political heads talking off without processing the logic of their speech, making them look like nincompoops.

And we still celebrated on how the nation is so proud of it's achievements, what with some of Proton's design still stuck at least 30 yrs back and they are still reselling it.

4th Day of Raya

2007-10-16T08:31:00.000+08:00

Today is as the title suggested.

I've just passed thru my weekend feeling utterly lazy and behaving very much like the pig. It was a really good weekend.

Went for shop yesterday, sis bought a nice lbd, I got the facial product that I wanted. Everyone's happy in their own shallow ways.

Celebrated a housemate's bday yesterday, just realised he's merely 19 yrs old..all these while I thought he was 22. When he heard that, he wanted to commit harakiri.

Then my sis told me, "Wow, didnt know we are at least older than him by 6 yrs old."

And I go, "Ass, I'm still stuck at 21, so I couldnt care less."

So there u hav it, ladies and gentlemen.

While other ppl's worried bout growing old, I'm still stuck at eternal youth. Kaka..

Korean Movies Sux..ok..mayb not..

2007-10-15T16:03:00.000+08:00

Now writing tis article from my sis studying place. Too bad my cam got stolen, else I can take some shots and share it.

While waiting for her, I'm now watching the movie "Millionaire's First Love".

A movie that I vowed not to watch cos of the sucky title and I've seen the making of, but since Bleach 145 episode is not yet out and I'm so bored, I suddenly remembered that movie that I vowed not to watch.

I'm now finishing it, shaking off the tear-jerking moments tat it instilled in it's viewer, ass of a movie I'd say, making me all blurry eyed and snotting like a sissy. Thank God the room's empty.

Good Week Just Passed

2007-09-06T11:31:00.000+08:00

Yes, a very good week just passed.

Went shopping for some stuff that I've been pending for pretty some time and never got to do it.

Passed by a park near Selayang and saw this bunch of strangers playing kites.

It was reminiscent of my past where I used to make my own kite but somebody else flew it.

I love seeing colorful kites flying in the cool windy air, cant take my eyes off it.

Then as my friends' weddings coming soon, I decided to give em gifts rather than angpow cos it's boring me, thus I've been buying colored papers and make my own paper boxes to put the gifts and wrap em up w my preferred ribbons.

I think most ppl would like to receive pretty packaged gifts.

I personally love brilliant colored box w satin ribbons, lotsa effort put in.

So basically I'm back doing my hobbies w paper and scissors. Here's some of my works :

Eversince I could remember, I love holding scissors in one hand, paper / cloth in another.

It gave me a rush of adrenaline, perhaps it's in my blood, perhaps it's a destiny unrealised as now, my fingers mostly touch keypads and plastic mouse.

But, one never lost the feeling of their first love.

Provoking Individualism

2007-08-21T15:12:00.000+08:00

Ever been provoked to do something nice but naughty? Out of random or self-preservation?

Something that makes one feel tantalizingly gooey on the inside? Puts a smile on one or whistling as one walka with that extra spring in one's steps?

Well, it's been quite some time since I was provoked to take a stand on anything.

I guess, society nowadays is pretty mild as everyone tried to blend in and making beige out of everything.

Just the other day I was discussing a topic on one nation, but the paper said there's no such thing as one nation in this country as we are made of many different colorful things and people.

If we'd hav blended in, then we'd be like sporeans.

Anyway, digressing..I was just thinking, wouldnt it be great if one walks down the street and there's this person performing; splashing paint on a white human mannequin, trying to make color coming alive thru spontaneousity, not worrying bout who's doing the cleaning up or if one's gonna be fined over the display of life celebration?

Or when one walks down the lane, seeing a few ppl doing somersault and showing some sparks for life.

We keep on seeing all these zest on commercials, but in real life, it all existed only in our head.

Is it so wrong to embrace diversity and difference in our daily lives? Being eccentric and not caring while at the same time..remain refreshingly original?

I can imagine how the ppl would feel when they tore down the wall of berlin, or when one swam w the whales to promote world peace or ecology rights, or make a fashion statement out out of the spur of the moment or when one was handed their first car key.

Free to be anything, free to dream and free to dip one's feet in the cool water..

Here's to freedom.

"Take a stand on individualism." - Anon

Taken for Granted

2007-08-20T08:44:00.000+08:00

Last weekend I went for a wedding.

But I ended up feeling unhappy.

Cos somebody spoilt my mood.

I will not go out w tat person anymore cos one thing I really hate, is being taken for granted by somebody I liked.

I know I said this many times to myself, and everytime found myself soften.

I hav so many things to say, but my feeling is overwhelmed right now.

I will not justify how I feel nor how he made me feel right now cos I should've scolded him on the spot but I didnt. I never can handle my anger properly as they always come as an after effect after a few hrs or a day.

I'm so pissed and so unhappy w myself to put myself in that condition.

I will stop typing now and let my anger overflow.

Nagging Worries

2007-08-17T18:10:00.001+08:00

I'm constantly worrying over small little things. It's ingrained in me; I'm female, u see.

My sis was always telling me her insecurity issues like eating habits n stuf. For me, she's healthy physically, only her self-esteem is retarded.

When I was her age, I got this thing u call "Dear Diary". Her english sux, so I guess it's her excuse to complain, it's becoming a broken record nowadays cos I've heard the same issues for like 5 times everytime we tok, but who am I to complain, my life is none-existance for all they care. I'm just a friendly-ear of the neighbourhood. *sigh..

I understand that she's merely depress.

I mean, who wouldnt if they dun like to befriend ppl their own age and only toks to ppl who she deems is interesting enuf.

*sigh..

I'm so afraid of asking her again to make more friends..her mind is so small it scares me sh*tless. She mentioned she only met ppl from her school (who's her age or 17-yr-old-thus-still-babies-not-deserving-of-her-company-yet) and the church mates (who are crazy in her opinion and from wat I heard, pretty crazy in my opinions too. I mean, how can one says that when a baby is born, they are already defined into good and evil?!? stoopid la..).

First of all, age doesnt mean a person is not mature. A person mayb 30+ and still immature. I met many ppl in my programs who are younger than me but acted more mature than I am (course sometimes they are bizarrely weird but tat's ok, cos I tok weird too..)

Second of all, she's lazy. If one's first impression doesnt hit with her, she's stop making effort.

Thirdly, she needs prozac..just joking. She's merely going thru a lot of insecurity phase now, I went thru it in my form 6 period..which is around her age. Sadly I have no one to speak to..thus I read a lot then. I still do. Like wat I said..she's lazy.

Thus, I ask her to go find work if she cant bear the circle of ppl she's meeting now.

Hopefully she'd be able to find friends who suits her enigmatic taste.

Advice to sis : Please dun find friends in the clubs cos they've amnesia problem, u might be a figment of their imagination by the morrow.

Me...Myself

2007-08-17T09:29:00.000+08:00

A thai story tat evolves around the question on love between the opp gender even when a party's made a choice of his gender preference. Amnesia made him chose another path and questioning his choices.

He went back to his past, but now that he's been touched by new faces, would he turn away from that different choice?

I've watched tat guy did the Shutter and he was mediocre in it. Somebody told me there's a farney naked scene in his new one, thus I couldnt help my pitter patter feet towards the dvd shop.

Makes me wonder, if I'm straight and I turn sideway, would I turn away from that different choice?

What if I fell for a bi? Then I'd hav to compete with their choice of different taste. How does one compete with that?

Makes me wanna pull a quick harakiri on that one. *dazed..

I guess, mayb there's no competition cos if a person loves another, they dun really consider much bout putting the other person hanging. Or would they?

Spoiler to "Me...Myself"

Softest Caress

2007-08-16T14:27:00.000+08:00

The wind caresses her cheek..
And touches her shoulder..
And places Whispers in her ears..

Reaching the flowers in her hair..
Kissing only tips of the petals..
Leaving behind memoirs of longings..

The wind leaves behind a glance..
Cool against the breezy air..
Wishing she could hear it conversing.

Forging Chains

2007-08-15T18:09:00.001+08:00

Chatted with a friend. She was worried bout her relationship w the bf.

Cos she had an genetic blood defect and so does the bf, thus if they hav kids of their own one day, the kid's most probably need blood transfusion for the rest of his/her life.

Sad really.

But it's still goes down to the matter of choice.

I mean, Angelina and Brad adopted even when they can afford kids of their own.

Why not u and I?

I mean, adoption, bringing in strangers' kids and making them our own; give em our name, shelter, love, care, food, teachings, life experiences and hoping they'd turn out better than us.

Wat's the big deal with adoption?

Let me tell u what's the big deal.

For the chinese society (me chinese, me live with chinese my whole life) they care a lot when they've to care for kids not of their blood and flesh cos they fear one day when they needed help, the kids would rather look for their own biological parents n leave their adopted parents.

Yes, I guess not only chinese society has such thinking, regardless of race, age or backgrounds, ppl fear for the unknown.

They fear of being left alone when they got older, they fear of nobody to care for em, they fear for themselves.

Let me tell u one thing; own flesh and blood doesnt ensure full security or even half of that security as we grow older.

There's no such thing as sure and confirm that one's own flesh n blood would take care of their parents, only the percentage is higher.

It all goes down to teaching.

A student may take care of his/her teacher or sensei when they grow older.

A stranger may take care of a lonely elderly just cos he/she felt a connection.

A kid may take care of a stray dog or cat from the alley.

And all of em, no blood nor flesh relationships are forged prior to the meeting.

What makes a kid willing to care for us when we get older?

The kid's belief, teachings, experience, knowledge and principles.

Therefore, regardless of own blood or not, any kid is precious cos they really are the next generation; either to care for us the veterans, or the world that we live in now, before they can pass on to the next.

"Teach a kid respect for the living, and they'll in turn, teach you something back." - ngy

PS : If u'd watched "Meet the Robinson", u'd know what I mean. I hope.

When The Fat Lady Sings

2007-08-15T12:30:00.000+08:00

Bought "200 Pounds Beauty", some korean chick flick bout a gal who could sing and turned from fat to phat.

I just love any movies that got nice songs or nicely commercialised songs. I'm dim when it comes to pop songs or any melody that captures my fancy.

Here's some to waste the time :

Star
Maria
Movie Title Teaser
Some song by Loveholic

Hav a feel good phat day.

"I am fabulous." - ngy, vanity-basket

Fixing Tyre

2007-08-14T12:18:00.000+08:00

Just went to hav my car fixed today.

I tried fixing the tyre myself, got the spare tyre out and jack the car but I couldnt get the nut undone. Talk bout incompetent and failure and stoopidity and *&&^%$#@$#@..

Note to self : Unscrew nuts first before jacking.

Anyway, went for professional help and changed 2 back tyres and some other car accessories that I know not of but I'm sure that I'm not being cheated. I think.

Anyway, just discovered that the place where I used to get my car serviced actually tried to con me (I said tried cos I've asked them several times of the tyre pricing but somehow I'm still reluctant of letting em fix my car this time..wait..since I was serviced by em, means..I WAS CONNED!!! Bloody b*st*rds #$%$@$@$^%^&%&^%$%$#$@$#@).

Let's call that shop, The-Shop-That-Used-To-Con-Me while another shop, The-Good-Shop.

I asked The-Shop-That-Used-To-Con-Me bout pricing of some of the parts that I wanna change:
1. Tyre (kenari, 14 inch diameter) = RM 145 / unit
2. Aircond Belt + other misc stuff = RM100+ (services included)
3. Coolent (Naza) = RM25 / 28

Unsatisfied by the amount they charge, I went to The-Good-Shop and asked bout pricing of some of the parts that I wanna change:
1. Tyre (kenari, 14 inch diameter) = RM 120 / unit
2. Aircond Belt + other misc stuff = RM28 (services included)
3. Coolent (Naza) = RM13

So it's no wonder I went to the latter shop for servicing la.

I hate it when they see a female driver and thinks she's ez to con.

That's why, Gal! Do equip urself with knowledge or ask around before u got ur car serviced as there are always really nice shops out there which's not trying to question ur intelligence nor trying to swindle more money outta u.

Also keep track of the receipts and their contact numbers so in case in the future u can do price comparison before u get anything done, that's what one calls "Smart Consumerism".

"Con me once, shame on u. Con me twice, shame on me. Con me again, I'll sue u.." - Ngy

Pushing It

2007-08-14T11:54:00.003+08:00

I remembered a time ago when I joined some teens program, as a caretaker thing. The teen program was to instigate a sense of awareness of the current issues that teens are facing today; drug, pregnancy, juvenile crimes..u know, stuff that adults can get away with.

Anyway, it was a period of peace where I was being a third party; merely being an invisible pusher where it needs pushing and do nothing more than being a guide or crowd control. As well as make sure no hanky-panky happens at nite.

I was complimented on a job well done by the organiser, but being on a low-dose-of-compliment that month, I merely mumbled a thank you and walked away as I didnt know wat else to say. Mayb I fear the more I speak, the more likely they aint gonna hire me for the next stint.

I was never too sure what to do with compliments from constipated-looking adults; to gloat shamelessly and tickle a person into grinning goofily or to do the norm, smile and said thank u. (In Malaysia, for the chinese culture, the norm reaction after being complimented would be, "No la..where got.." while smiling apologetically and waving at some invisible flies..)

Anyway, I remembered a scene where the teens had to act out a senario where a gal got pregnant and what's the consequences that comes from it.

So my team got a guy to act out the gal's part and prepared him a wig and fake tummy outta newspaper. Then they got tis really tall geeky kid whom in my opinion as rather quiet by nature but really talkative when talked to (either that, he's got a crush on me).

So there we were, acting the scene out (with me standing beside em cause we didnt had much practice and I was supposedly the director), as the tall kid (who was supposedly to be the father of the unborn child) tried to stop the "mum" from aborting the child by hanging on at first to "her" shirt then "her" (muscular) arms then "her" (unseen but muscular) leg, I was there pushing the "father" to see how far he can go.

The ppl surrounding us thought we looked alike the wrestling scene where I was the ref counting as the "father" tried to arm-wrestle "mum's" foot into submission.

It was a weird scene cos there was the geeky "father" and the teacher-looking-ref pounding on the wooden floor shouting "More! More!" and a weird looking "mum" with misshapen boobs and tummy trying to make a getaway (while hanging on to "her" misshapen assets and wig).

When it ended, we bowed and made our due. Everybody grinned goofily and having spontaneus fun.

It was nice seeing bunch of simple kids making their debut at being desperate thespians once a while, even if the audience were just a bunch of adults suffering from hemorroids.

Compliments..Oh, Compliments

2007-08-14T11:54:00.001+08:00

I love being complimented.

"Angela, u r getting more beautiful.."

"Wah, u r getting sexier eh.."

"U look nice. U should wear that more often.."

"Wow.."

"U did something?"

It always warm my heart knowing that ppl appreaciate some paragon of beauty like me..(some would disagree and said I'm a paragon of violence, but that's another different story)

I love complimenting myself sometimes too..

"Oh Angela, ur gap between ur toes are getting smaller, u r behaving like a lady now, not a duck walking with paddles for feet.."

"Wow Angela, ur hair is getting less messy now, those frequent baths do wonders.."

"Ppl rarely mistaken ur constant holding ur fart in as constipation anymore, sometimes, they can barely tell!"

But then, beautiful ppl would never write entry like this. :|

"Our ego is like our feet, they need constant massaging." - Ngy, applies for other part of the body too

Paying For It

2007-08-13T10:05:00.000+08:00

Yes, the topic has crossed my mind cos a friend mentioned it to me.

It's an age old question for the dating parties as to defining the line between generousity and being a s*cker.

For me personally, I prefer dutch style. That's y all my dates ended up my friends whom in the long distance of friendship, slowly expects or even ask me jokingly to pay for both of our meals. Jokingly I decline, unjokingly, I never call em after tat.

For a gal to pay for a meal or a gift applicable only for during special occassion or when she feels generous or having a good enough excuse to spend a little bit more than she can afford. But all must come from her decision, not from some dude who thinks it's farney to ask a gal to pay. It's so wrong.

Long ago, somebody told me tat, in the olden time, men feel privileged to pay for a meal cos it means a chance for another meal or date.

Nowadays, a guy has been thru too many dating processes (read: feel cheated) and feel tired to keep on forking out cash. Sometimes, I feel sorry for em s*ckers, but on another hand, mayb they deserve it.

I mean, why pay to show their generousity when they cant afford it? Tried cooking at home? It's cheaper and ensures petting session after that (pls pls pls make sure housemate is bribed to take a hike somewhere), if the guy plays his card right.

So some gals actually are pretty understanding and pay for some of the meale; she picked up tis tab so he can pick up the next. But if he forgets once, twice..it's endless unanswerable ringtones for the guy in the future or the common excuse; bz.

I kinda pity the guys for paying everytime, but then I looked back on the guys I've dated..that's the only initiative they've taken in a long loooong time. (I was hoping for a romp in the car but so far, no luck. Eastern men I've dated are so dimwitted..)

Summary : Guys should pay, until after in a steady relationship, both can pay alternately though guys still pay during special occassion. That way, nobody feel used, I hope.

PS : All I want is a guy (not boy) of my own whom I can use till he cried "No more.." *sigh..

Pirates Ahoy!

2007-08-13T09:36:00.000+08:00

Just went thru another program last saturday.

I woke at 5.30..took my bath and hoping to depart at 6 am.

As I drove me car out the parking lot, behold. Lo, a "pancit" tyre.

It was; my belated Friday the 13th for the year, a Malcom-In-The-Middle moment (read: worse case senarios).

So rushing for time, I was hoping to catch a taxi to my destination; One Utama.

It was saturday dawn; a taxi wouldnt fetch me while another tried to con me ("How much to 1u?" I said. "RM40" he said. "Bye" I said.)

So used lrt from Taman Melati to Taman Bahagia..which overall took 30 min..still alrite. Then took the taxi frm there and went to One World Hotel. Thankfully met a late fellow volunteer.

Let me tell u this; One World Hotel is just operational for 2 months, and the ballrooms' massive chandelier were so impressive tat I almost peed and able to accomodate up to 2200 ppl at a time (combine all 3 ballrooms). Too bad I didnt bring my cam.

So after a fast briefing, we went off to our post. The theme for the day was Pirates. So some of the volunteers were dressed up as so-call-pirates (their costumes alike ancient captains of the ships or pompous hey-men of the day rather than looters) and carousing the mall with a pirate flag each while smiling at passing lookers instead of grimacing or drooling at one side of the mouth.

I was the bodyguard for the precious clues which the participants were supposed to get before could proceed to the next step, but we were cheeky to ask em to do something first, like "Kidnap any kid from the area surrounding us" which was replied by a concern parent-participant with a pained look of "Really?" and also "Loot something from the surrounding shops.." which excited way too many participants but which we stopped them by "Whoa..Hang on. Just kidding" before handling em the clues.

Met some really cute ppl on the road, only to discover em all..born years behind me. *sigh..

When it comes to my age, the cute ones are either taken or eligible as a stand in for ur younger brother. *sigh..So it's a look-only-hands-free kinda thing with celibate in thoughts.

Anyway, the program ended with aplomb, and we (the volunteers) went shopping!

I for one, never really liked shopping in groups that much cos I dun like waiting for ppl to browse stuff that I dun like, in another word, I have weird taste. So getting bored, I digress every once a while and get stuff for meself.

By the time we finished, a friend volunteered to fetch me home. Finally, Lady Fortune smiled upon me.

So he fetched me back, and I chia-ed him dinner, and brought him to see the house and he went back.

What? Were you expecting some hanky-panky, petting session and dirty details here?

Hehe..dream on.

Restless, Dio Mio

2007-08-10T12:27:00.001+08:00

Been to toilet 3 times tis morn.

I'm so restless, my legs' almost broke into half with my fidgeting.

And I cant stop thinking..thinking of someone I shouldnt think.

Think..Dont think..Think..Dont think..

And when I think too much, I grimace a lot.

When I grimace a lot, I get wrinkles.

When I get wrinkles, I get irritated.

When I get irritated, I wanna bite somebody's head off. Or ram it into some wall, or toilet bowl. Or mash it up into a pulp.

And the head I'm aiming at, it's his.

And I cant do that cos, I'll get sued.

I'm so screwed.

ParaNoia

2007-08-10T10:16:00.001+08:00

She was fidgeting again.

He sure was in a good mood.

She couldnt stop biting her nails as she continued clicking on the keyboard, typing nothing.

He was walking with a spring in his steps.

She couldnt stop glancing at the door to his office.

All she could think about is..I'm screwed. And grimaced.

Then he walked out and stopped by her cubicle, "Great job! We are on the right track!" And a big grin.

She smiled reluctantly and thought..He's out to get me.

"The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination." - Garak, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Making Sense Outta Nonsense

2007-08-10T10:08:00.000+08:00

Act, and you shall have dinner; wait, and you shall be dinner.
-Gowron, Klingon proverb, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Homer: Kids, there's three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!
-The Simpsons, "Homer to the Max"

Peter: Can’t we tell them that your mother died?
Lois: Peter, I’m not gonna lie about something like that.
Peter: All right, all right, I’ll kill your mother.
-Family Guy, “A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas”

Things I've Read That Makes Me Feel Happy For A Second Or Two..

2007-08-10T10:06:00.001+08:00

Bandits will attack Queen Elizabeth. To save her life she will have to call on the knights sworn to defend her—Elton John, Mick Jagger, and Paul McCartney.

People will automatically smile for pictures when photographers develop a flash that emits not only a sudden burst of light, but also the sound of Barbra Streisand being mauled by a bear.

Peter's voice on tape: Please leave the lights off, Lois. I dont want to be seen.
Lois: I imagined you wouldn't after the way you acted a while ago.
Peter's voice on tape: I thought you might say something like that.
Lois: Anyway, I've convinced Meg to go to the dance.
Peter's voice on tape: Please don't yell, Lois. I've learned my lesson!
Lois: But I wasn't—
Peter's voice on tape: Oh, you would happen to bring that up, Lois. Can't you leave the past where it belongs?
Lois: Peter what's gotten into you—
Peter's voice on tape: Because I've already said it was a scavenger hunt.
Lois: [pulls over bed sheets and sees pillows and tape player] What the...?
Peter's voice on tape: Lois, if you still haven't discovered I'm gone, please flip the tape over to side B.
-Family Guy, "Let's Go To the Hop"

Spock: This is the new brig, Captain. It is escape-proof.
Kirk: How do you know?
Spock: The designers tested it using the most intelligent and resourceful person they could find. He failed to escape.
Kirk: This person didn't by any chance have pointed ears and an unerring capacity for getting his shipmates into trouble, did he?
Spock: He did have pointed ears.
-Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Ancient scrolls will reveal that Noah originally planned on bringing three of each species on his ark, not to save them from the flood but just to see if any of the animals were into that kind of thing.

Mr. T has a son that he names after himself. To avoid confusion the boy is known as Mr. Lowercase T.

My Funny Sis and I

2007-08-10T09:45:00.001+08:00

Nat was telling me story of her presentation.

My sis is currently studying nursing at Singapore. Finishing in 2 yrs time.

She was telling me how one of the sketch was where she played the nurse role, attending to a patient.

So there's tis part where the patient's supposedly to cry, and she's supposedly to offer the patient a hanky.

When it reached that part, her friend was looking at her, and she was looking at him with the hanky ready, waiting for her cue.

1 second, 2 second..10 seconds. Still no tear. Silence.

Last, she said, "U need a tissue?"

The crowd erupted in laughter, the patient finally cried mockly..and they bowed.

Somehow, I think she should've punched the guy pretending to be the patient, and said, "Cry, u p*ssy".

Will the crowd erupt, or will the sound of crickets magnify?

"To be; or not to be" - the pear that shakes

Infectious Attitude

2007-08-10T09:05:00.000+08:00

I used to join this team building program when I was like a snotting freshie out for her first job with lotsa idealistic ideas on how to change the world ( and her current financial status ) for the better.

The internship taught me alot..made me do many things I dun wanna do but at the end of the day, it pays off. And I get to meet lotsa incredible ppl along the way.

I was an idealistic fool, alike Don Juan on his journey to slay some imaginary dragons and rescuing damsels in distress..I couldnt help thinking that I could be for once, a star of my life journal. (Yes, I hav a pathetic self-esteem then..now my ego is off the chart on good days..crap on bad days)

It was the period too that the team building company was recruiting volunteers to help them out on their programs. (Yes, me, doing team building stuff..ironic)

So, there I was, methaphorically jumping up and down with my imaginary cheerleader uniform going, "Yes! U can do it! Smile..and the world smile with u.." with a cheesy grin to match, bringing (hopefully) positive attitudes to ppl who frown for a living.

Yes, I was a cheerleader..aka free-labour-who's-self-initiated-and-who-makes-believe-that-she-can-persuade-other-ppl-to-hav-fun.

After almost four years with them, doing on and off programs..I just discovered I'm just like every manic drivers out there who drive like the road belongs to them and everybody else is dispensable (meaning hypocrite) and curses with the window shields down (and double checked to make sure no sound from inside escaped to the murder-potential-unforgivable-ears out there).

I can assure u, I am no saint, deviant in thoughts and many times, violent (my friends' bruises can attest to that).

So sometimes for somebody to believe that for a small opening window in time, that I too, can be normal..makes me wanna achieve the impossible.

So, this weekend, I will go, with my imaginary pom-pom..and screaming my heart out at all the strangers out there, and for once more..believing that, I am just like everybody else.

Wait..tat doesnt sound right..I wanna stand out..not conform..fine..I will not wear undies when I do my cheering. Now, at least that's doing something different from the rest..*chuckle-chuckle.

Note to self : Shear bush.

Another Pieces of Me

2007-08-10T09:03:00.000+08:00

I always wanted to kiss him silly..
With his little button nose..
And little pouty lips..

Then I woke up..
And saw saliva on the pillow..
And he was sprawled on the floor..

Next thing I know..
They draw borders around his body..
Using white silky chalk..

Carried him away..
On cold hard stone..
With birds chirping on a really nice day..

Now I will always miss his little button nose..
And little pouty lips..
And dream a little dream.

Every morning me and my sis has a ritual.

We'd drive down the road from our condo to the lrt, looking for target to practice our morning mood.

I'd go, "Please dun drive like tat, uncle, see how you'd feel if I ram u down with my kenari."

And my sis would go, "YEA, STUPID!" at the top of her lung at some unfortunate stranger..with the window scrolled up.

It was 6.45 am in the morning..too early for morning coffee and too late for cursing.

Static

2007-07-30T09:51:00.001+08:00

It's tiring when you want to complain to somebody, all you hear is static.

Nope, I'm not talking bout hp reception.

I'm talking bout ppl who are not interested in whatever u r saying.

I'm talking bout ppl who tell u stuff that u've heard before.

I'm talking bout ppl who joke with u when u r being serious.

I'm talking bout energy-suckers.

I hate talking to ppl bout my problems cos I can usually predict what they wanna tell me. Actually, I can.

It's either a sympathetic sigh, a "I dunno what I would do if I were you", a "it's like tat one", a "live life free!", a "dun care so much", a "bunch of assholes" or smtg else.

They'd never come up with "Let's go and burn their house down" but dun really mean it, or "I'll hold them, u punch em", or "Burn ur bridges, then u cant look back" kinda mentality.

Anyway, I dun like complaining so much to other ppl cos I dun like the responses I'm getting.

I'm tired of listening to sympathetic ears, I want solutions. Solutions that makes me wanna try em out. Innovative solutions so I can learn from it too cos I've done all the usual solutions and they r no fun.

I'm just bored.

Radical Approaches or Desire To-Wear-Tights-Only

2007-07-16T15:45:00.004+08:00

"There are many people who think they want to be matadors, only to find themselves in the ring with two thousand pounds of bull bearing down on them, and then discover that what they really wanted was to wear tight pants and hear the crowd roar."

There are many a time tat a team manager may say things like "Think outside the box..", "Look at the big picture..", "Do something different.."

Crap.

First of all, the ppl who say "Think outside the box.." never did anything outside of the box all their measly lives.

Secondly, "Look at the big picture.." are usually reserved for those decision makers, it's usually an illusion created to give hope for those who dare to dream.

Thirdly, "Do something different.." in my line of work will ensure future maintenance a tin full of worms.

What is it that makes a person dare to dream? Dare to behave outside of their box with no regards of character, position or inheritence?

Hope is a dangerous thing. Like a tin full of worms, it will unleash many unwanted outcome, but at the end of the day, we still manages to fish.

Have a good fishing day.

Japanese Influence

2007-07-16T15:42:00.000+08:00

I'm the kinda oddball that still watches cartoons every weekend morning and any midnites with cartoon programmes.

Lately I'm captivated by Garo and Bleach (Animepedia, Wikipedia).

Action figurines and animes will always remain a tradition synonymous with Japanese.

I will always hate ultraman (dull colors, predictable storyline, endless episodes, need I say more..) and female portrayal in mangas (cos they like to draw innocent slim teen girls wearing extra-mini uniforms with big boobs).

But Garo features shiny gold and silver lion protectors. I love the portrayal of the main actor; serious, strong, dependable. Plus the episodes been brandished as having adult content doesnt hurt much either.

Bleach will always remain one of my favourites cos the storyline, powerful with surprise element swords and a subtle romance thrown in. If only my eyes would stay up till the end of each show, that really would made my day as currently the tv programmes are shown at nearing midnite. I really wanna know what happened to Ichigo fighting Zaraki Kenpachi. *sigh..

I'm growing old as I need to sleep earlier and wake up even earlier, it's frustrating. Healthy lifestyle never really suits me.

Painful Voices

2007-07-09T18:36:00.000+08:00

There are voices in my head..

"You are being paid to work, if this stupid thing also you cant do, then you should not be in this line.."

"You don't talk to me. All I need is a word of comfort. Why do you always scold me?"

"There are worst things mum said that I didnt say, don't make me say them."

"You think you are so good meh? Just look at how you work." hehe..smirk..

I close my eyes, I shut my ears..

I tried defending myself..

"But I am only one person.."

"I am sorry. I don't know how to comfort you."

"I wish I could do something different, but I cant"

"I am only human.."

The voices got worst.

"You are fired!"

"I no longer want to talk to you..ever."

"Mum said, you should have gotten married and stay in sarawak and make babies and.."

"I thought so."

Then I pretended nothing touches me..as my heart wrench with tears.

Blue Element

2007-07-09T18:14:00.000+08:00

Wish I am a different person somehow.

Wish I dun wish so much.

Wish I dun know so much.

Wish life could be simpler.

Wish I hadnt come out to study and work.

Wish I hadnt put my heart everytime I try to achieve something.

Wish I can let go.

Wish I hadnt been so hard on myself.

Wish I can settle for mediocre sometimes, instead of using up all my energy for something I think worthwhile but is not at the end of the day.

Wish there's some friends whom I can talk to without hearing words like "That's y la..next time set your priorities right." or "Dun trust ppl so much" or "Work isnt everything" or "Get a boyfriend" or "Get married, then no need to work."

Sigh, wish there's some friends whom can tell me "Hang in there, today just one of those low days, better days will come soon enuff" or give me a pat with an understanding smile or lend me a shoulder to cry my heart out once a while, or best of them lots, just a simple "Everything will be ok." and a big hug.

I dun expect ppl to understand what I'm doing half of the time, or why I'm doing the things I do, all I need is the support and encouragement when I feel down, not a lot of words, just a simple, "You are doing fine, Angela, hang in there." or "Dun give up now" or "Everything will be ok".

I wish for things to be simpler when bruised knees can be kissed away and sickness can be cured by simple hot milo placed at the end of the bed.

"Everything will be ok..trust me.." - soft voice

Antagonist

2007-06-26T19:26:00.000+08:00

He thought today there were many people at the cafe by the pond.
She thought today was rather a nice day.

He saw her sitting by the tree, drawing a painting. He thought she looked rather calm.
She concentrated on the painting, as inner turmoil sucked up her soul.

He saw her picked up the delicate brush, perhaps to draw the birds flying above the blue sky.
She picked up the smallest brush, dipped it in green, and tried to cover a speck of mistake in her painting.

He saw how skillful she painted the leaves and lotus smeared across the pond, thinking she must really be a lover of nature.
She blamed herself for not finishing her assignment a little earlier, how landscape drawing was not her forte, how she was goin to fail her course.

He wished he could be like her, so carefree, so passionate about something as he looked at the laptop on his table, thinking he's got loads of report to sift through before the night was over.
She wished she'd just win a million bucks, then she would never have to pick up another paint brush again, how she'd never needed to live other people's expectations.

He looked back at her for one last glance, and saw her flicking her hair in the soft wind.
She felt irritated, sweaty and wished the rain would come later, as first sprinkle of rain fell upon her.

He saw she picked up her sketches and drawings as she rushed towards the shade. He thought she was a rather pretty little thing.
She looked up and saw a guy looking at her as she entered the cafe with other people. As she pulled her collar a little bit higher, she thought he was rather old.

"Not one great mind is alike; not one first impression is the same." - Anon

Nothing (Left) To Lose

2007-06-21T11:47:00.000+08:00

Starting from a week ago, I've been relocated to a new team in my company because my team lead has problem working with me.

I had the warning a few weeks back and I've tried ammending, but I guess at the end of the day, ppl keep on telling me that sometimes, it's just a matter of characters. So I'll take it tat he's got issues, not me, cos I didn't know at all after working w him for more than a yr and he's never talked to me about my weaknesses, thus never given me a chance to ammend it, instead he poured everything out during my appraisal and that kinda suck. The suckier thing is, from what I gather, he couldn't come up with better complains that though I've improved, I'm better in the other team cos I can do better presentation, that I've got talent..bla bla bla..crap I tell u. Somehow, it also shows to me his level of thinking; unfit for a team lead. *Bah..waste my loyalty to him all these while..asshole. In my opinion, he just cant handle me cos I'm too hot..not in the physical term, but in terms of attitude; slightly ambitious, a bit competitive and very much confident.

Why change myself to fit into somebody else's image? It just doesn't make sense, if God would wanna make us all the same, he'd hav done so instead of bestowing us with the gift of freedom of choice and making our own mistakes n live with it. If we are all built the same, we'd hav all lived with any mistake one of us did.

Farney, makes me wanna wrap his head and shove it into the toilet bowl.

But had a talk w my hr, and she was pretty cool for being an oddball herself. She seems to hav a lot of fun with herself and never judges other ppl for being different. And I kinda enjoy that.

Plus she mentioned I got more chance for improvement and going up the ladder. I dun really care bout the ladder as long as I'm given more work, cos I know I suck at logic, so my strengths lie in experience and hardwork. And I cant stand being taken for a joke when it comes to work. I may b on the beginner level compared to the team leads, but heck, give me a chance to do smtg man, instead of passing me little peanuts tat can barely cover my belly, u know? I'm just hungry for more..

I'd like to make a change to my work by putting more fun into it. Try to change the approach a bit. Since by now, I've got nothing to lose.

Lesson "I"

2007-06-18T17:44:00.001+08:00

I've learnt that even when my heart burns with determination..life will put me down.

I've learnt that even when I say yes..life will say no to me.

I've learnt that even when I am set and ready to go..life will make me wait.

I've learnt that when I learnt to give up..life told me not yet.

I've learnt that sometimes ppl suck and hav bad days..that I can avoid being a victim.

I've learnt to accept that I can be right..and stand by it.

I've learnt that life suck..and life moves on.

I've learnt that when I know nothing, ppl laugh at me..but that's ok..cos I never forget a lesson.

I've learnt that when I bruise my knees, my heart, my butt, my pride..it makes me grow into a better person cos I've been at the end of the stick.

I've learnt that life is going to be unfair to me..that I gotta stand up for myself..one way or another..one day or the other.

I've learnt that no matter how hard the stones life is going to throw at me..all I gotta do is hang on a little bit longer..bite the nails a lil bit harder..and clenched my teeth till hell breaks loose.

"I want to stand for morals and ethics and have integrity within this position and not sell out how I was raised" - Missy Peregrym

"Do not be afraid, ever, of approaching the talent you want in your film. Because actors at any level want to be in front of the camera, that's what we're built to do. Actors want to act. So, if we're free, we have the time, and you have a project that is a role that we haven't played before, or it's written in a witty way, or tells a story that we want to be a part of, we'll do it! And the best thing is to have your pitch. If you have no money but you've got a lot of heart, pitch the hell out of it! And, if you have a good story in your head, don't let it get over-processed by too many decision makers. Now, of course, that's what the studio system is all about [laughs], but do your darndest to stay true to your vision." - Advice for budding Indie film makers by Doug Jones (I), An Outstanding-Actor-Who-Took-Delight-In-Weird-Characters

Stick It

2007-06-18T17:01:00.000+08:00

I got this movie called "Stick It" which is bout a rebellious has-been gymnast who walked out on a national competition.

The story slowly revealed why she walked out and how she walked back in.

It felt amateurish, but rather a good waste of time.

I loved how the main character looked like; strong, athletic, rock-star quality, unpretending. Missy Peregrym mayb new, but she was one heck of a presence on the screen, actually, she looked like young Hilary Swank.

Twas a good movie, watch it.

Brakes

2007-06-18T16:41:00.001+08:00

I've been told that I was too fast..

At the time, it was my colleague who told me to slow down cos she couldn't see what I was coding.

Another time, another colleague told me that I copied and pasted the code too fast for him to follow.

Now, I'm walking on high heels with sounds of brakes on my every step.

I've been told I'm too fast..but I still feel like I am stationary.

What's wrong with me?!?

Pointless..and Out of Road.

2007-06-18T16:39:00.000+08:00

I looked left..I looked right..

I blinked..and saw shadows beckoned me from afar..

I looked back..and saw myself waving..from a different timeline..

She looked young..carefree..so full of life..

I looked at my hands..callused and dirty..my hair dripping with sweat.

My eyes heavy..my heart's heavy..as I gasped for breath..

I looked front..and I saw a flicker of light.

I summoned my last strength..and shifted my foot..forward.

Betrayal

2007-05-25T16:59:00.000+08:00

It was late into the night.

She dared not to go home and discovered he was not back yet.

She couldnt get a divorce without giving it a second chance, but oh how hard this second chance is causing her. Her face is straining with the effort to conceal the pain from the world.

She still couldnt believe he did this to her.

--

"How could u!!!" She screamed.

He kept quiet and didnt say a word.

She held the vase in her hand, and saw how her vein throbbed as her fingers clenched onto it's fragile stem.

Then she put the vase down. And sat on the nearest chair.

She put her forehead onto her hand; half of her face is hidden, half of it contorted into a mask of disbelief and frustration.

Then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as she stood up her shoulders faltered.

She walked to the door and started the car.

--

It's been two weeks and the memory of it was like it had happened yesterday.

He never said anything.

She went home and prepared dinner as usual, face unreadable, movement sure as she chopped up the vegetable and cooked the dishes.

Nobody would've guessed she was grieving.

She ate and left for her routine jog.

He came back and saw the food on the table, and went to take his bath.

He touched none of the food and went to work in his office room.

She came back and took her bath in the library's toilet.

They both made painful effort to avoid one another as they tried to make it work, tried for a second chance.

At night before they sleep, usually one would come into the room find the other snuggled with the back facing him or her.

As they slept next to one another, the sound of the clockwork broke the silence.

--

He could not stand the hypocrisy of it any longer.

He vowed to confront her, once and for all, and solve the matter.

--

"We need to talk." He said.

"We have nothing more to talk about the matter. Case closed. Go to sleep." She snuggled the blanket tightly around her, her mouth a tight grim line.

He sat up and faced her. Then he grabbed her arm and shook her up to face him.

Her hands sprang to meet his, both of their face contorted by anger.

"What the hell do you want to talk about? There's nothing left to talk." She said between clenched teeth.

Before he could say anything, she stood up and walked to the bathroom and locked it.

He sat in the bed, frustrated but listening.

She opened the water tap and put both her hands on the sink as tears fell into the running water, keeping her sobs to herself.

Then she sat on the side of the bathtub and held her forehead as tears flowed.

She blamed herself for trusting him when all her instincts said otherwise when she got to know him.

He blamed himself for making the mistake in the first place, and for not hiding of his tracks carefully.

She swore she would never forget.

He swore he's going to change.

By the time she came out, he's moved to the study room.

--

In time, both learnt to forgive but never forget.

Reality Ending

Happy Ending

Sad Ending

He left.

She moved on.

"Betrayal is like a broken glass, though u put it all back, u can still see the cracks." - Anon

Story Behind the Tattoo

2007-05-25T16:13:00.000+08:00

Everybody has a story behind their tattoo.

Johnny Depp kept his tattoos in a journal way; specific time in his life when he make a mark on himself, 13 tattoos that mark significant memories, an Indian head for his heritage, "Lily-Rose" over his heart, a sparrow flying over water with the word "Jack" his son below "Betty Sue" his mum, a ribbon reading "Wino Forever" and many more.

The Sarawak tribes with their warrior tattoos to signify bravery or the number of enemies they've killed, same for other tribal tattoos like Haitians and Samoa and Maori or etc.

For me, tattoo signifies self-definition, individualism and strength.

I wanted one on my lower back, so I'll always remember to be brave for myself especially when I feel really beaten or discouraged or when I needed a reminder.

I remembered my birthday this year, it was a tough time.

I always thought my grandpa would lived to see my first child, cos I never got to meet my great grandpa.

Knowing how great my grandpa is, I'm pretty sure he'd be a great person too.

I never celebrated my birthday this year cos he passed on early of the year and I never stopped thinking bout the vow I made to myself. It's tat moment that I've wished I'd hav done something stoopid like getting freaking drunk and go to waste cos I cant get the grief out, but logic and knowing that the consequence would've devastated my parents kept it all in. I guess till today I still walked with grief on my sleeve, how to release a sadness that u failed such a simple task?

Since my mum's discouraging me from having one there, I think I'll just go for a tiny weeny belly ring.

*sigh..sometimes it's so small, I kinda forgotten that it existed.

But when I do hav a family of my own, I'll create an emblem so all of us will hav a family tattoo, including the kids when they reach puberty or 21. They get to choose their own color.

It'd have 4 symbols; Strength, Love/Peace and Courage, all the elements that bind a family.

The last symbol is self-definition, they can decide it when they reach an older age, enuf time to redo the ink of the design as well.

It'd be like a legacy, things to pass on to the next generation, kinda like Patek Philippe's slogan; "You never actually own a Patek Philippe. You merely take care of it for the next generation" or "Begin your own tradition".

How cool can that be..

Amore

2007-05-25T16:11:00.000+08:00

What I've Forgotten, is how beautiful Andrea Bocelli can sound.

He may not be able to see, that makes him sing from the heart and it does take one heart to know another.

I can only imagine myself dancing softly with a faceless man slowly to the rhythm of his voice; my left

hand on his shoulder, my right hand on his left, his right hand at the curve behind of my back, moving left

and then right, twirling in a circle, lights dim and a single rose stem on a round white covered table, the

stagelight shining upon us, as we slowly soften our twirl to simple steps..

I like Moulin Rouge for the reason that it shows me, sometimes having a short moment of happiness even

beats the regrets of a lifetime on a rare occassion.

Usually I'd hate tragic ending movies, but Ewan McGregor showed me otherwise, with him in any

broadway-induced movie, I'd watch just cos he makes me happy.

Anyway, listening to Andrea makes me dream very far..